PDA

View Full Version : When in doubt — communicate



thedrifter
09-03-07, 07:55 AM
When in doubt — communicate
By Karen Jowers - kjowers@militarytimes.com
Posted : September 10, 2007

Tips for families to help their children during deployments:

• Establish rules and limits, as a family, before deployment —money, chores, responsibilities, and consequences for disobeying family rules, said Cathy Stokoe, Navy family readiness program manager. Also, avoid saying, “Wait until your father (or mother) gets home!”

Be flexible enough to adjust rules and limits when necessary.

• Communicate. Phone calls, e-mails, letters, packages, taped readings of books, video conferencing — use what works best for you and the technology you have available. Talk before deployment about how you’ll communicate with each child.

• For the parent at home with a child, make time to listen — and give them opportunities to talk. Set aside mealtime as a time when everyone eats together, without television or cell phones. When the children are in the car, turn off the radio and cell phone.

• What you tell a child about the danger their parent is facing depends on the child’s age and ability to understand, said Dr. Elisabeth Stafford, Army pediatrician and program director for the adolescent medicine fellowship at the San Antonio Military Pediatric Center.

Be truthful, but be careful about sharing your emotions with your children. Tell them that the overwhelming majority of service members are OK, and that their parent is probably going to be OK. If a child is fixated on fears that something bad will happen, seek help from a professional, such as a pediatrician, chaplain or mental health professional.

• Any time a child says anything indicating a suicidal intention, parents should immediately seek help.

• Give kids control of something, even if just a key to the house, said pediatrician Army Col. George Patrin. Everyone needs some control, even kids, especially when they have no control over a large part of their lives: their parent’s deployment.

• Draw on other trusted people for help. Rather than forcing a child to quit soccer or violin lessons because it doesn’t fit the schedule of the parent left behind, ask a friend or the soccer coach for help in transporting the child, or for ideas on where to get help. There are a variety of resources in many communities.

• Spend time together before deployment, during leave and after deployment as a family, with each child and as a couple, advises the Navy’s Stokoe.

Ellie

thedrifter
09-03-07, 08:39 AM
Strained bonds <br />
A culture of deployment is stressing the families left behind <br />
By Karen Jowers - kjowers@militarytimes.com <br />
Posted : September 10, 2007 <br />
<br />
Nine-year-old Tristan Sartor hasn’t spent...

thedrifter
09-03-07, 08:47 AM
Help for children takes many forms
By Karen Jowers - kjowers@militarytimes.com
Posted : September 10, 2007

Help in dealing with the stress of deployments is starting to emerge for military parents and children, and researchers are starting to look at long-term effects.

Col. George Patrin, an Army pediatrician who is chief of the California Medical Detachment at the Presidio of Monterey Army Health Clinic, Calif., has developed a DVD, “Mr. Po and Friends Discuss Reintegration After Deployment,” an animated support program aimed at children ages 6 to 11 and their families.

He and pediatrician Maj. Keith Lemmon produced the DVD, “Youth Coping with Military Deployment: Promoting Resilience in Your Family,” featuring teens talking about how they coped with a parent’s deployment.

It has interviews with youths, including some who attended Operation Purple camps run by the National Military Family Association for children of deployed troops.

Lemmon has also launched research on a group of 100 youths from preschool to college age at Fort Stewart, Ga., during and after a deployment, examining how their stress levels may change after deployment.

They are hoping this will stimulate more research on the long-term effects of multiple deployments and a preventive screening program for children before their family member deploys, just as service members are screened before they deploy.

Hundreds of copies of the popular DVD were made with a grant from the American Academy of Pediatric Friends of Children Fund and the Army Medical Center and School in San Antonio for initial distribution to military and civilian advocates for children. Families can find the DVDs online at http://www.aap.org/sections/unifserv/deployment/index.html and http://www.cs.amedd.army.mil/youth.aspx.

Another DVD, produced by Triwest Healthcare Alliance, titled “Help From Home: Deployment Support for Military Service Members and Families,” is available at http://www.triwest.com.

Military doctors, school counselors, teachers, chaplains, youth program leaders, coaches and church leaders can all have a positive effect on military children, and the pediatricians hope those who work with military children will use the videos to help children deal with long separations from loved ones.

The pediatricians have been working with the Military Child Education Coalition, a nonprofit group with the mission of helping schools ease transitions and helping military children. The coalition has a community training program called “Living in the New Normal,” aimed at raising the awareness of everyone in the community, from businesses to faith-based groups. Information is on the coalition’s Web site, http://www.militarychild.org.

Programs exist both on and off installations. A sampling:

• The Marine Corps Community Services’ “return and reunion” brief helps Marines understand what their children may have experienced in their absence — fear, regressed behavior, new interests. Marines are advised to slowly resume rules and routines, expect changes in behaviors, and let the child be first to renew the bond.

At youth and teen centers, “Deployed Kids’ Group” meetings are held for preteens and teens.

• The Navy, following the Army’s lead, has created new school liaison positions within some Fleet and Family Support Centers.

“Kids Camp” in child care centers helps instill pride, increase knowledge and assure children they are not alone in having a parent deployed.

“Warriors in Transition” and “Families of Warriors in Transition” programs help parents help their children adjust to the return of a sailor parent from a deployment.

• The Air Force has given out more than 13,000 “Stay Connected Deployment Kits” with items for airmen and their children. Also, its Returning Home Care Program offers 16 hours of free child care when a deployed airman returns to home station. A new resource, “Deployment and Separation: A Curriculum for Staff and Families,” was sent to bases in May.

• The services’ New Parent Support Home Visitation Program provides supportive and caring services to military families with new babies.

• The National Military Family Association’s Operation Purple camps provide a safe place with fun activities for military children to talk with other children going through wartime deployments. The group, at http://www.nmfa.org, has other programs and information for military families.

• Groups such as FamilyStrong, at http://www.familystrong.org, based in San Antonio, are found in civilian communities around the country. FamilyStrong is a volunteer outfit founded by military families with programs to help military families affected by deployments, families of wounded troops and families with special-needs members.

Ellie