OLE SARG
08-25-07, 04:03 PM
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
· Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
· Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
· Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
· Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
· Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
· France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica
· Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
· George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
· Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
· 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
· Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
· Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
· Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.
· Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
· New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
· Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
· IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
· Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
SEMPER FI, :bunny:
· Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
· Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
· Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
· Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
· Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
· France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica
· Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
· George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
· Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
· 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
· Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
· Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
· Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.
· Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
· New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
· Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
· IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
· Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
SEMPER FI, :bunny: