thedrifter
08-06-07, 08:53 AM
Supporting `her boys' in Iraq
Mom, who's son died on duty, acts as a surrogate to others
By Alison Hewitt Staff Writer
San Gabriel Valley Tribune
GLENDORA - In January, Glendora Marine Lance Cpl. Blake Howey and a group of his closest Marine friends from Twentynine Palms celebrated at a few last parties before they deployed to Iraq.
Those parties, including one at Howey's parents' house, where all the Marines visited so often that they called Howey's mother "Mom," were among the last times they would all be together.
Howey's mother, Audrey Nichka, who grew to love them all, has now outlived two of them, including her son. A third lost a leg two weeks ago. Two others could be home by late August, but still face dangers in Iraq. A sixth, Marine Cpl. James Eckels, who was Howey's best friend growing up and deployed to Iraq before the other five, is the only one so far to make it home safely, and he expects to be deployed again next year.
Nichka's mothering nature has increased both her pain and her joy. She and her husband saw their family grow dramatically as she got to know the Marines who she calls her boys, and who her 7-year-old daughter calls her brothers.
Nichka has stories about them all - the time one of them got hurt in a motorcycle accident; how another met his wife at her house; and her son, Howey, telling her not to take pictures of him as though he was never coming back.
"I think about them every single day, and every time the phone rings, I think, `Something happened,"' said Nichka, 42. "If it's a number I don't recognize, I get that empty, sick feeling that they're gone, they're dead."
Her son was killed by a bomb in February, just three weeks into his first deployment. He was 20. Marine Lance Cpl. Nathan Windsor called Nichka to assure her that he would be there for her and would make sure that her daughter, Taylor, would still have a brother. Windsor, 20, was shot and killed by a sniper a few weeks later.
Nichka found that sending more packages to her "boys" and getting them to send her names of other Marines who needed care packages helped ease the pain.
With help from her new extended family - Eckels' sister Karen Butterfield; the new wife of one of "her" Marines, Kristyn Holloman; and mothers of some of the other Marines - Nichka has spearheaded the creation of the Lance Cpl. Blake Howey Memorial Fund. The nonprofit sends packages of boots, DVDs, socks and snacks to Marines and helps fly family members to wounded Marines' bedsides, Nichka said.
So far, the charity has raised $25,000, she said.
"More packages means I'm making differences in other boys' lives, and I'm doing something to help boys because of Blake," she said. "That makes me feel better."
The fund is now helping one of Blake's best friends, Lance Cpl. Garrett Jones, who lost most of his left leg in a bomb blast in July a week before he would have gone off duty. Donations will help fly Jones' grandparents and aunt to the Naval hospital in Maryland, where Nichka is now. Jones said he couldn't put into words how good the Nichkas were to him.
"They treated me and still treat me like we're family," said Jones, 21. Before deploying, "it was nice to get out of the work environment at Twentynine Palms and drive the two hours to Blake's house and be at a house that was safe, relaxing and caring. They truly treated me like a son and still do."
Jones' mother, Phyllis, has become good friends with Nichka, who she referred to as her son's "other momma." Nichka took Garrett Jones and the other Marines to the beach, the movies, ski trips and more, and was there when he was injured in a motorcycle accident, too, Phyllis Jones said.
The charity now sends boxes to 20 soldiers and plans to expand, Nichka said.
Among the core group still in Iraq receiving those packages are Lance Cpls. Mateo Arguello, 21, and Cody Holloman, 20. Both expect to return at the end of August. Holloman's wife, Kristyn, is waiting excitedly with their 3-month-old, James Dakota Blake Holloman. The Hollomans met at Blake Howey's house.
"Audrey is Cody's surrogate mom, my surrogate mother-in- law and the baby's surrogate grandma, but we couldn't call her grandma," Kristyn said. "So she's mumgi - we were looking for a grandma name for the longest time. Mumgi is Welsh. It's just a good word."
Butterfield, who also calls Nichka "mom," said she knows Howey's death has been hard on her brother, although he hasn't talked about it to her. Eckels, who said he's been part of Nichka's family since he was 12, still visits the house. He always appreciated getting packages from Nichka, he said.
"She knew all the kinds of candies and things I liked," Eckels said. He recalled the time Nichka sent a dozen pairs of boots overseas - still tough but more comfortable than what the Marines normally wear, he said.
"It's really cool when you get a package, but some people send you a bunch of crap," he said, apologizing. "But she's actually sending them stuff that they need."
alison.hewitt@sgvn.com
(626) 962-8811, Ext. 2730
Ellie
Mom, who's son died on duty, acts as a surrogate to others
By Alison Hewitt Staff Writer
San Gabriel Valley Tribune
GLENDORA - In January, Glendora Marine Lance Cpl. Blake Howey and a group of his closest Marine friends from Twentynine Palms celebrated at a few last parties before they deployed to Iraq.
Those parties, including one at Howey's parents' house, where all the Marines visited so often that they called Howey's mother "Mom," were among the last times they would all be together.
Howey's mother, Audrey Nichka, who grew to love them all, has now outlived two of them, including her son. A third lost a leg two weeks ago. Two others could be home by late August, but still face dangers in Iraq. A sixth, Marine Cpl. James Eckels, who was Howey's best friend growing up and deployed to Iraq before the other five, is the only one so far to make it home safely, and he expects to be deployed again next year.
Nichka's mothering nature has increased both her pain and her joy. She and her husband saw their family grow dramatically as she got to know the Marines who she calls her boys, and who her 7-year-old daughter calls her brothers.
Nichka has stories about them all - the time one of them got hurt in a motorcycle accident; how another met his wife at her house; and her son, Howey, telling her not to take pictures of him as though he was never coming back.
"I think about them every single day, and every time the phone rings, I think, `Something happened,"' said Nichka, 42. "If it's a number I don't recognize, I get that empty, sick feeling that they're gone, they're dead."
Her son was killed by a bomb in February, just three weeks into his first deployment. He was 20. Marine Lance Cpl. Nathan Windsor called Nichka to assure her that he would be there for her and would make sure that her daughter, Taylor, would still have a brother. Windsor, 20, was shot and killed by a sniper a few weeks later.
Nichka found that sending more packages to her "boys" and getting them to send her names of other Marines who needed care packages helped ease the pain.
With help from her new extended family - Eckels' sister Karen Butterfield; the new wife of one of "her" Marines, Kristyn Holloman; and mothers of some of the other Marines - Nichka has spearheaded the creation of the Lance Cpl. Blake Howey Memorial Fund. The nonprofit sends packages of boots, DVDs, socks and snacks to Marines and helps fly family members to wounded Marines' bedsides, Nichka said.
So far, the charity has raised $25,000, she said.
"More packages means I'm making differences in other boys' lives, and I'm doing something to help boys because of Blake," she said. "That makes me feel better."
The fund is now helping one of Blake's best friends, Lance Cpl. Garrett Jones, who lost most of his left leg in a bomb blast in July a week before he would have gone off duty. Donations will help fly Jones' grandparents and aunt to the Naval hospital in Maryland, where Nichka is now. Jones said he couldn't put into words how good the Nichkas were to him.
"They treated me and still treat me like we're family," said Jones, 21. Before deploying, "it was nice to get out of the work environment at Twentynine Palms and drive the two hours to Blake's house and be at a house that was safe, relaxing and caring. They truly treated me like a son and still do."
Jones' mother, Phyllis, has become good friends with Nichka, who she referred to as her son's "other momma." Nichka took Garrett Jones and the other Marines to the beach, the movies, ski trips and more, and was there when he was injured in a motorcycle accident, too, Phyllis Jones said.
The charity now sends boxes to 20 soldiers and plans to expand, Nichka said.
Among the core group still in Iraq receiving those packages are Lance Cpls. Mateo Arguello, 21, and Cody Holloman, 20. Both expect to return at the end of August. Holloman's wife, Kristyn, is waiting excitedly with their 3-month-old, James Dakota Blake Holloman. The Hollomans met at Blake Howey's house.
"Audrey is Cody's surrogate mom, my surrogate mother-in- law and the baby's surrogate grandma, but we couldn't call her grandma," Kristyn said. "So she's mumgi - we were looking for a grandma name for the longest time. Mumgi is Welsh. It's just a good word."
Butterfield, who also calls Nichka "mom," said she knows Howey's death has been hard on her brother, although he hasn't talked about it to her. Eckels, who said he's been part of Nichka's family since he was 12, still visits the house. He always appreciated getting packages from Nichka, he said.
"She knew all the kinds of candies and things I liked," Eckels said. He recalled the time Nichka sent a dozen pairs of boots overseas - still tough but more comfortable than what the Marines normally wear, he said.
"It's really cool when you get a package, but some people send you a bunch of crap," he said, apologizing. "But she's actually sending them stuff that they need."
alison.hewitt@sgvn.com
(626) 962-8811, Ext. 2730
Ellie