thedrifter
08-05-07, 06:51 AM
Military wife, mother of two
By Mary Rothschild
Special to The Seattle Times
Meara Nisbet Clark, former vice president for government relations with the Bank of America, now at home with two sons, Max, 3, and Sam, 5. Her Marine Corps reservist husband has been recalled for a possible third stint in Iraq.
"I became a mother the same year my husband became an officer in the U.S. Marine Corps. We left successful careers, a lovely home in Seattle and set out to serve our country. It's been five moves, four years, two beautiful babies and one horrible war later.
It's difficult for me to separate the experience of becoming a mother with my anxiety as a military wife: Brad was at war when I was giving birth to Max. Brad had to leave the hospital hours after Sam's birth to report back to his unit.
I'd anticipated that I'd stay home with my children until they were school age, or maybe get a nanny and work part time. I gave up the whole possibility of part-time work because of Brad and the Marine Corps.
I miss my job, of course, but what I miss most is that sense of competence. In a career, you see yourself as accomplished, enviable. When someone at a party asks what you do, their eyes don't glaze over.
Parenthood can make you insecure because it's so hard to measure. As a mother, I tried to read, strategize and work my way to successful parenting but still couldn't get my son to sleep through the night. Then it dawned on me. Mentorship. I had been a successful lobbyist because I had a series of wonderful mentors.
I found motherhood mentors everywhere: Neighbors, preschool moms, friends at church, friends with kids, friends without kids. When I embraced motherhood mentors, life became less lonely and more rewarding.
I was a single parent although, granted, a single parent who didn't have to bring home a paycheck. Brad didn't have to grocery shop, cook or pay the bills, but why should he? I'm not just supporting my kids, I'm supporting him. He's the needy one, really, because he hasn't always been here to get the physical love you get from kids.
We've settled back into civilian life, but in March Brad (now a grad student) was one of 1,800 Marines to receive involuntary recall orders. We may face another year of Daddy being away."
Mary Rothschild is a former Seattle Times editor; she can be reached at hoffelt_rothschild@hotmail.com.
Ellie
By Mary Rothschild
Special to The Seattle Times
Meara Nisbet Clark, former vice president for government relations with the Bank of America, now at home with two sons, Max, 3, and Sam, 5. Her Marine Corps reservist husband has been recalled for a possible third stint in Iraq.
"I became a mother the same year my husband became an officer in the U.S. Marine Corps. We left successful careers, a lovely home in Seattle and set out to serve our country. It's been five moves, four years, two beautiful babies and one horrible war later.
It's difficult for me to separate the experience of becoming a mother with my anxiety as a military wife: Brad was at war when I was giving birth to Max. Brad had to leave the hospital hours after Sam's birth to report back to his unit.
I'd anticipated that I'd stay home with my children until they were school age, or maybe get a nanny and work part time. I gave up the whole possibility of part-time work because of Brad and the Marine Corps.
I miss my job, of course, but what I miss most is that sense of competence. In a career, you see yourself as accomplished, enviable. When someone at a party asks what you do, their eyes don't glaze over.
Parenthood can make you insecure because it's so hard to measure. As a mother, I tried to read, strategize and work my way to successful parenting but still couldn't get my son to sleep through the night. Then it dawned on me. Mentorship. I had been a successful lobbyist because I had a series of wonderful mentors.
I found motherhood mentors everywhere: Neighbors, preschool moms, friends at church, friends with kids, friends without kids. When I embraced motherhood mentors, life became less lonely and more rewarding.
I was a single parent although, granted, a single parent who didn't have to bring home a paycheck. Brad didn't have to grocery shop, cook or pay the bills, but why should he? I'm not just supporting my kids, I'm supporting him. He's the needy one, really, because he hasn't always been here to get the physical love you get from kids.
We've settled back into civilian life, but in March Brad (now a grad student) was one of 1,800 Marines to receive involuntary recall orders. We may face another year of Daddy being away."
Mary Rothschild is a former Seattle Times editor; she can be reached at hoffelt_rothschild@hotmail.com.
Ellie