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SGT-JOHN-ADDY
07-02-07, 05:37 PM
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the <st1></st1>. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near<st1:city u1:st="on"><st1><st1:city w:st="on"><st1> Hanoi</st1></st1:city></st1></st1:city>. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
.

jetdoc
07-02-07, 06:06 PM
Now thats good stuff John....believe me I know about dating daughters. We have daughters ages 17, 22 and 26 year old. We just got our 26 year old married off last week to a good guy.

All of our daughters are beautiful as they take after their mom who is Filipina and not their ugly daddy-o, lol.

SGT-JOHN-ADDY
07-02-07, 06:32 PM
that is good......the guys are gonna hate me.....when my daugthers get old enough to date.....they are gonna read this and sign it.........

jetdoc
07-02-07, 06:57 PM
We've found that raising our daughters and showing them how life really is and how guys really are it helps. So far they have seemed to have picked good fellas....not to mention none dated before their senior year in high school....except for proms or what not.

SGT-JOHN-ADDY
07-02-07, 07:11 PM
Mine won't either.....

yellowwing
07-02-07, 07:14 PM
"If you make her cry, I will make you cry." - My favorite part of that one! :D

jetdoc
07-03-07, 07:56 AM
"If you make her cry, I will make you cry." - My favorite part of that one! :D

Thats good, I like that one.

DWG
07-03-07, 08:41 AM
You poor old "bastids" in for a long haul in regard to the "dating years"!
:(
Thank God I never had daughters of my own. If you want to make your hair turn gray, or fall out completely, just remember what ran through your minds when picking up some crusty old sumbichs' daughter for the first time. All you heard was "blah, blah, blah" and then you went out and did your best to get in their pants.
;)

The worst part is how many times it was successful and easy!

Poor, poor dads!
:cry:

sgtrock1970
07-03-07, 08:42 AM
Cleaning your .45 and walking upstairs with it when the date arrives always creates a good first impression on the young man. My son in law still talks about that.

jetdoc
07-03-07, 09:02 AM
Wow, you must have picked up some real skanks in your time, :D .

When I was dating, the girls I picked up had normal looking dads, nice houses, good families, you sound like you grew up in a crappy area man.

Actually I never had to say much, I have been told just seeing me was enough, according to my kids...must have something to do with the buzzed hair, sleeved tattoos, 255 lbs and pretty tight still.

If you get into a girls pants that easy then the girl must want it as well, so perhaps its HER that was using you, ever think about that? (don't know why thought, lol). I raised my daughters from the perspective of a guy and told them the deal about guys at an early age. They used it to their advantage and they seemed to have played the guys pretty well, not the other way around.

We must have done something right, our 26 year old is a school teacher married to an Engineer and she has not had a baby...our 22 year old has not had a baby and is in the process of joining the Marines, and our 17 year old is in college and has had one boyfriend, since her senior year in high school and he is a family friend and has been on vacation with us, (no baby of course).

Thats all I can say, our daughters are not revolving pootang doors for dudes, don't get me wrong, there are enough girls out there that are, its just how you raise them...give them confidence to tell a dude to fvck off if they have to.

So I am happy we have daughters and have not had any problems. We have several friends who have boys and they were less of a problem when they were younger, but as they got into the teen years THEY are the ones that are having major problems....ironic, I remember them saying the same thing as you when our girls were babies still...funny how things work out. :cool:



You poor old "bastids" in for a long haul in regard to the "dating years"!

Thank God I never had daughters of my own. If you want to make your hair turn gray, or fall out completely, just remember what ran through your minds when picking up some crusty old sumbichs' daughter for the first time. All you heard was "blah, blah, blah" and then you went out and did your best to get in their pants.


The worst part is how many times it was successful and easy!

Poor, poor dads!
:cry:

DWG
07-03-07, 09:26 AM
Wow, you must have picked up some real skanks in your time, .

When I was dating, the girls I picked up had normal looking dads, nice houses, good families, you sound like you grew up in a crappy area man. [quote]

Oh absolutely; only the "skanks" put out, all the good girls were "virgins" when they got married!
;)
I'm not saying the girls have to be a walking mattress, only that threats last as long as the door. I've seen this list in many forms and it's always a fathers' fantasy. No hyper-testosteroned teen pays any attention to dad. The best you can hope for is to at least ward off the ones who won't pay attention to a "no" from your daughter.
:mad:
BTW; most of the "skanks" I dated turned out pretty well (teachers, lawyers, etc.) and most were from above average homes (including one whos' dad was a retired Marine major {who, admitedly, looked very unpleased with me; I actually felt sorry for him}).
:(

thedrifter
07-03-07, 09:31 AM
My daughter's didn't start dating till they 17 and had to have one of their brothers double date with them...

We always had to meet the boy first, and for some reason late husband(Roger) always was shinning his K-Bar when he had a heart to heart talk with the new boyfriend ;) :D

To be fair the boys had to follow the same rules as the girls

Ellie

Quinbo
07-03-07, 09:47 AM
I was asked one year to escort a young lady to the birthday ball. I said sure what the hay. The tickets were on the house if I did. I sat down with this young lady and was entranced, gaa gaa, overwhelmed. I could not believe my luck. After the ceremonys and meal her dad the base Sergeant Major and her boy friend ... some geek that worked at the golf course... came and sat with us. Picture a japanese zero spiralling towards the ocean in flames. My Sgt Maj came over to chat and when he looked at me he had a smile like he was remembering something funny.

jetdawgg
07-03-07, 11:40 AM
I have two sons so I will not know the angst that may come with having daughters.

I did date a Gunnys daughter once. I will emphasize ONCE
:D

Sgt Jim
07-03-07, 01:00 PM
My son inlaw had a very clear understanding of a short life span and is still very respectable to my daughter and my family eight years later.found him to be a good man,Semper FI

DWG
07-03-07, 01:18 PM
I once dated a girl whos' dad was on the Chosin expedition! After we broke up I would still go by and BS with him! He had a sweet Chi-com pistol he had picked up on his wintry stroll with the Red Chinese star in the grips! He hated the cold!!!

jetdoc
07-03-07, 02:19 PM
My son inlaw had a very clear understanding of a short life span and is still very respectable to my daughter and my family eight years later.found him to be a good man,Semper FI

Thats what I'm talking about Jim...lol. At times I feel sorry for my son-in-law as my eldest daughter busts his chops pretty often, its funny. Actually all of my daughters seem to be good at busting chops, they don't crap from ANY guy, and if they need backup they know where they can get it. :D

I dunno, I hear some guys here saying they are happy they didn't have daughters...we've had a blast with them and zero problems.

jetdawgg
07-03-07, 02:43 PM
Thats what I'm talking about Jim...lol. At times I feel sorry for my son-in-law as my eldest daughter busts his chops pretty often, its funny. Actually all of my daughters seem to be good at busting chops, they don't crap from ANY guy, and if they need backup they know where they can get it. :D

I dunno, I hear some guys here saying they are happy they didn't have daughters...we've had a blast with them and zero problems.

Jdoc let me clear my position here. I have two sons. At this point I feel that I will never have any more children more or less a daughter. I would've have had a blast with two daughters also.

jetdoc
07-03-07, 02:51 PM
Jdoc let me clear my position here. I have two sons. At this point I feel that I will never have any more children more or less a daughter. I would've have had a blast with two daughters also.

I understand dawgg. Your post brings out what I'm trying to say I suppose, if you're good parents and raise your kids properly, boys or girls, its all good!!

Semper Fi bro

jetdawgg
07-03-07, 02:59 PM
I understand dawgg. Your post brings out what I'm trying to say I suppose, if you're good parents and raise your kids properly, boys or girls, its all good!!

Semper Fi bro

SF:usmc: :D
It is also fun when you are 'making' them

jetdoc
07-03-07, 03:11 PM
SF:usmc: :D
It is also fun when you are 'making' them

Oh "hail-yeeea". :D

yellowwing
07-03-07, 03:23 PM
My daughter just turned 15. :(

jetdawgg
07-03-07, 03:24 PM
My daughter just turned 15. :(

Time for another one. Have some fun:D

OLE SARG
07-03-07, 04:25 PM
I have four (4) daughters and what always worked for me was making sure I was cleaning my pistols, rifles and shotguns when the young men came calling. AND THEN I started with the voices keep telling me to protect my young daughters!!!!! That always got them.

SEMPER FI,

SGT-JOHN-ADDY
07-03-07, 05:50 PM
Hey tell me what all you think about my daugthers....Haynna is the oldest and Savannah is the youngest.....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v249/marinefamily5/DSC00404.jpg

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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v249/marinefamily5/DSC00414.jpg

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SGT-JOHN-ADDY
07-03-07, 05:54 PM
hey it work this time......good....yes this are my baby girls......

jetdoc
07-03-07, 05:57 PM
John, they are cute. I remember when ours were that young. Don't get me wrong, I love ours at their current ages but they were so much more fun when they were all young like yours.

SGT-JOHN-ADDY
07-04-07, 09:14 AM
Yeah they are my little angels....but sometimes they can be the devil....lol

vfitch
07-04-07, 10:25 AM
They are very cute. I can remember when the olders ones were that young. They are now 27 and 24 and then I went and started over. I have a 10 year old and she is a handfull. Spend as much time with them as you can because one day you turn around and they are all grown up.
I also made sure that the boys who came by to date the older ones knew about the rules for dating a Marine's daughter.
:flag:
Semper Fi.

SGT-JOHN-ADDY
07-04-07, 10:49 AM
Trust me I know I have them all the time......sad thing is my ex wife don't really even see them....she has seen them 5 times since nov of 06......she is to busy with her wannabe rockstar boyfriend to even see her kids.....just like this 4th of July was her day to have them and she said they were busy and wasn't able to get them....that is fine with I'll keep them....one other sad thing....my 5 yr old ask me " daddy when you gonna find me a new mommy " about brought tears to my eyes....I didn't know what to say when she asked me that....

vfitch
07-04-07, 01:50 PM
I know exactly what you are saying. My ex didn't have time to see the older ones because she was to busy partying all the time. I spent alot of time at the parks down here in Cincinnati, it was free and we had alot of time together in the woods, on the swings just being together. It was rough at first but I wouldn't have traded it for the world.
Hang in there when the time is right you'll find someone to help you raise them, I did. So enjoy the little things right now because as I said earlier the time goes by quick.
:flag:
Semper Fi

jetdoc
07-04-07, 03:20 PM
They are very cute. I can remember when the olders ones were that young. They are now 27 and 24 and then I went and started over. I have a 10 year old and she is a handfull. Spend as much time with them as you can because one day you turn around and they are all grown up.
I also made sure that the boys who came by to date the older ones knew about the rules for dating a Marine's daughter.
:flag:
Semper Fi.

You got that right, turn around and next thing you know they are all grown up...still your little girls, but not so little anylonger. :(

SGT-JOHN-ADDY
07-04-07, 09:50 PM
o trust me i know what you mean....the only break i really get from the girls is when i let them go to my ex wife's mom and step dad or her dad an step mom but it seems like they are getting to busy for them now too.....but that is fine with me....i have my girls an i know they are being taken care of

billubarbar
07-06-09, 06:35 AM
This bit of wisdom is priceless. I’ll pass it on to my daughter to use on HER daughter.

ArtyOps
07-06-09, 06:57 AM
When I met my wife, her uncle was a Marine Major working at MCI. She flew down to Camp Lejeune to meet me the weekend of the Marine Corps Birthday Ball and then we left on the Thanskgiving 96. On the way she said she wanted to stop by her uncles house in Alexandria. On the way he had told her to tell me that I need to do my MCI's (correspondance courses) as they were showing incomplete. This of course completely freaked me out because here I am going to a Marine Major's (at the time I never really talked to any officers but Lt's) house and he knows I don't have my MCI's turned in yet. What's he going to say. We got to his house and I greeted him with "Good evening, sir". He said "That's the last time you'll say that, from now on Uncle Jeff will do".

He's one of my favorite people from her side of the family. He called from Baharain when he found out Chelsea and I were going to elope and told us he didn't care what we needed to do, we're having a wedding with everyone there.

charm1110
07-06-09, 04:57 PM
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.


I just posted that today is my daughters 12th Birthday, she's not dating anytime in the near future, as a matter of fact we've worked out a schedule that will allow her to go to (future) proms and dances with boy's as long as Mom, Dad, or her older(9 yrs. older) brother is a chaperone. I trust her judgement and know she will make the right decisions when the time come but maybe I'll make a "Dating my Daughter Instruction card " with these 3 rules to give to prospective dates. :D

ArtyOps
07-06-09, 06:23 PM
When my second daughter was born the doctor came in and asked some general conversation questions. He asked about the family and everything and I told him I had another daughter. He said "Well you must already have the shotgun oiled up". I told him no but the wood chipper is ready. He just looked at me for a second.

SGT-JOHN-ADDY
07-07-09, 06:29 AM
Artyops........lmao.......that is funny.....

Jonboyi2001
06-30-11, 10:56 PM
One amendment would be:
"My buddy in the Sheriff's department has placed an APB on you, your car, and your credit/ATM card and knows about your date. I'll be informing him of your plan for the evening and that you will be back here early. If you deviate or are late you will be found guilty of breaking and entering some old lady's house, and then you're gona have a new boy friend named Bubba to whisper sweet nothings in your ear while you cry yourself to sleep."