thedrifter
06-17-07, 07:11 AM
For new father, it's pure instinct
June 17, 2007
BY CASSANDRA SPRATLING
FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER
Marine Sgt. Alan Hoover's first Father's Day was bittersweet.
He was in the Mojave Desert, training for duty in Iraq.He watched as his first sergeant opened a gift -- pink sunglasses the man's daughter had made of construction paper.
"I yelled out, 'Hey, I'm a father, too!' " Hoover recalled. "The guys all congratulated me, and we talked about it for a few moments. It allowed us to step out of our training mode for a moment and have a decent conversation. Those are special moments. We can be training, sweating, and focusing on a mission, and have a 2- to 5-minute conversation about families back home and it draws us closer together.
"I remember I felt very happy, but really sad at the same time."
Two weeks after his first and only son was born April 5 last year, Hoover was on a plane bound for training in the California desert and then headed to an 8-month assignment in Iraq with the 1st Battalion of the 24th Marine Regiment. He returned home April 29.
This Father's Day, he looks forward to chilling out at his Melvindale home with his wife, April, and son, Alan Thomas Hoover II.Hoover said he believes images of his wife and son -- which he looked at every day when he looked at the mirror while shaving -- kept him alive.
"I grew up without a father," Hoover, 26, said. "There is no way I was going to let my son grow up without one. I fully believed I could go through any scenario and make it through because I wasn't going to let my wife be a single parent and my son grow up without his dad. Having them gave me an extra edge to press on."
He admits that when he got the call to report for training, he felt conflicted. "I am a Marine. I have a responsibility to the Marines and to my country. But I knew my wife needed me."
Hoover went to Iraq not only because it was his duty to go but also because he said he believes he was protecting his country and his family.
"People's families shouldn't be excuses not to go, they should be reasons to go," he said.
Still, he worried about his family a lot. What if the car broke down? What if someone broke into the house? It helped to talk to other Marines who experienced some of the same worries.
"Finally, I just gave it over to God," he said. "It was like I had an epiphany. We all pretty much agreed, we had to stop worrying and accept that there was nothing we could do about what was going on back home so we could focus on what we needed to do over there."
They stayed in touch by postal mail, e-mail and webcam, when possible. "Thank God for technology," said April, 23.
Her family, friends and members of Faith Christian Assembly in Melvindale, where she met and married Hoover three years ago this month, helped her through the early days of motherhood.
When her husband returned, she was surprised by how quickly he adapted to the duties of parenting.
"It's like he knew instantly how to feed him, what would make him laugh; he even knew how to change his diaper. I didn't have to teach him," she said.
Hoover said he learned how to be a father by not having one. He was the oldest of three children raised by a single mom. His father was not ready for the responsibilities of fatherhood. Hoover, who grew up in River Rouge, pledged that when his time came, he'd step up in earnest.
Their Melvindale home is full of toys, cars and trucks, including some his son is too young for -- because Hoover refuses to let his son repeat the pain of wanting and never having.
"Every time we go to the store, if he sees something he wants, I try to get it for him," said Hoover, who works as a supervisor for UPS.
For Father's Day, his wife gave him tickets to a Tigers game because he's a big fan but being home is the best gift.
"It feels good to be home with them, and it feels good knowing I did something great for my country," he said. "Being gone helps me to appreciate them more."
Contact CASSANDRA SPRATLING at 313-223-4580 or spratling@freepress.com.
Ellie
June 17, 2007
BY CASSANDRA SPRATLING
FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER
Marine Sgt. Alan Hoover's first Father's Day was bittersweet.
He was in the Mojave Desert, training for duty in Iraq.He watched as his first sergeant opened a gift -- pink sunglasses the man's daughter had made of construction paper.
"I yelled out, 'Hey, I'm a father, too!' " Hoover recalled. "The guys all congratulated me, and we talked about it for a few moments. It allowed us to step out of our training mode for a moment and have a decent conversation. Those are special moments. We can be training, sweating, and focusing on a mission, and have a 2- to 5-minute conversation about families back home and it draws us closer together.
"I remember I felt very happy, but really sad at the same time."
Two weeks after his first and only son was born April 5 last year, Hoover was on a plane bound for training in the California desert and then headed to an 8-month assignment in Iraq with the 1st Battalion of the 24th Marine Regiment. He returned home April 29.
This Father's Day, he looks forward to chilling out at his Melvindale home with his wife, April, and son, Alan Thomas Hoover II.Hoover said he believes images of his wife and son -- which he looked at every day when he looked at the mirror while shaving -- kept him alive.
"I grew up without a father," Hoover, 26, said. "There is no way I was going to let my son grow up without one. I fully believed I could go through any scenario and make it through because I wasn't going to let my wife be a single parent and my son grow up without his dad. Having them gave me an extra edge to press on."
He admits that when he got the call to report for training, he felt conflicted. "I am a Marine. I have a responsibility to the Marines and to my country. But I knew my wife needed me."
Hoover went to Iraq not only because it was his duty to go but also because he said he believes he was protecting his country and his family.
"People's families shouldn't be excuses not to go, they should be reasons to go," he said.
Still, he worried about his family a lot. What if the car broke down? What if someone broke into the house? It helped to talk to other Marines who experienced some of the same worries.
"Finally, I just gave it over to God," he said. "It was like I had an epiphany. We all pretty much agreed, we had to stop worrying and accept that there was nothing we could do about what was going on back home so we could focus on what we needed to do over there."
They stayed in touch by postal mail, e-mail and webcam, when possible. "Thank God for technology," said April, 23.
Her family, friends and members of Faith Christian Assembly in Melvindale, where she met and married Hoover three years ago this month, helped her through the early days of motherhood.
When her husband returned, she was surprised by how quickly he adapted to the duties of parenting.
"It's like he knew instantly how to feed him, what would make him laugh; he even knew how to change his diaper. I didn't have to teach him," she said.
Hoover said he learned how to be a father by not having one. He was the oldest of three children raised by a single mom. His father was not ready for the responsibilities of fatherhood. Hoover, who grew up in River Rouge, pledged that when his time came, he'd step up in earnest.
Their Melvindale home is full of toys, cars and trucks, including some his son is too young for -- because Hoover refuses to let his son repeat the pain of wanting and never having.
"Every time we go to the store, if he sees something he wants, I try to get it for him," said Hoover, who works as a supervisor for UPS.
For Father's Day, his wife gave him tickets to a Tigers game because he's a big fan but being home is the best gift.
"It feels good to be home with them, and it feels good knowing I did something great for my country," he said. "Being gone helps me to appreciate them more."
Contact CASSANDRA SPRATLING at 313-223-4580 or spratling@freepress.com.
Ellie