thedrifter
05-13-07, 08:16 AM
Posted on Sun, May. 13, 2007
'Only dream I've ever had was of being a good mother'
By David Sedeņo
Star-Telegram Staff Writer
The role of motherhood has become so complex that competently defining it has proved difficult. Yet because of our own experiences, most of us have little trouble defining what makes a mother good and special.
It could be the mother who has a career but finds time to make life special at home. It could be a woman who has given up her career to ensure that school-age children have someone to come home to. It could be a single mother who does without so that her children can have more. The descriptions, as you know, are endless.
Hispanics don't have the market cornered on motherhood, but at a time when societal and economic pressures take their toll on a family, the matriarch continues to be central in keeping it intact.
That's why as years go by, you will be seeing fewer women like Mary Gonzalez. Her story and that of her husband of 65 years, Salvador C. Gonzalez, would not have been that unusual a couple of decades ago, but it is now and will continue to be.
This is so, says Amado Padilla of Stanford University, because as the Hispanic population increases and moves away from its cultural and Roman Catholic roots (in which Jesus' mother, Mary, holds a significant role), separation and divorce will become more prevalent.
"As we acculturate, the financial pressures, educational pressures and intergenerational pressures all put new kinds of stresses on a marital relationship and on family relationships," said Padilla, a professor of education who has researched the changing dynamics of Hispanic families.
The story of Mary Gonzalez and her family is not only one about God and motherhood -- it is a portrait of an American clan in transition. It's a story filled with hopes, dreams, successes and sorrows. It's a tale of a patriotic family, a multigenerational family and, of course, a multicultural family with the matriarch firmly in the center.
"I guess the only dream I've ever had was of being a good mother and a good grandmother," Mary Gonzalez said last week in her small but tidy home in a Fort Worth neighborhood that was known as Rock Island but now takes on the name of the nearby condo development, Trinity Bluffs.
She and Salvador were married Oct. 26, 1941, after a monthlong romance. He was 19. She was 16. At 84 and 81, they are just as much in love today as they were then.
They had two children, and then he joined the Marines, serving in the Pacific during World War II. After the war, two more children were born.
While Salvador worked at the U.S. Postal Service during the next several decades, they built their lives around the clapboard home. Mary not only raised her children but also worked at a day-care center.
"I was very protective of my kids. They had rules, and if they didn't obey them, they knew they'd be in trouble," she said. "We taught them to work and to take care of themselves."
Now they count among their family 19 grandchildren, 46 great-grandchildren and six great-great-grandchildren, with two more expected later this year.
It's a family that has produced postal workers, engineers, mechanics, teachers, homemakers and, of course, Marines.
With such a large family, divorce, death and heartache also have become part of their lives.
"We've had some who have had some problems, but I've never given up on them, and they've thanked me for not giving up on them," Mary said.
On Mother's Day, just like they do each Sunday, her four children will come to her home -- their home -- for the usual big breakfast that Mary begins preparing at 6 a.m. After Mass, at least 40 family members will go to a restaurant because they don't want Mary cooking.
Sitting in her living room, surrounded by dozens of photos of her brood, Mary, with a few tears in her eyes, reflected on her good fortune as we finished our talk.
"I have a good husband who loves me and takes care of me," she said. "I have children who love me and come see me and grandchildren and great-grandchildren who also love me.
"God has truly blessed me."
Ellie
'Only dream I've ever had was of being a good mother'
By David Sedeņo
Star-Telegram Staff Writer
The role of motherhood has become so complex that competently defining it has proved difficult. Yet because of our own experiences, most of us have little trouble defining what makes a mother good and special.
It could be the mother who has a career but finds time to make life special at home. It could be a woman who has given up her career to ensure that school-age children have someone to come home to. It could be a single mother who does without so that her children can have more. The descriptions, as you know, are endless.
Hispanics don't have the market cornered on motherhood, but at a time when societal and economic pressures take their toll on a family, the matriarch continues to be central in keeping it intact.
That's why as years go by, you will be seeing fewer women like Mary Gonzalez. Her story and that of her husband of 65 years, Salvador C. Gonzalez, would not have been that unusual a couple of decades ago, but it is now and will continue to be.
This is so, says Amado Padilla of Stanford University, because as the Hispanic population increases and moves away from its cultural and Roman Catholic roots (in which Jesus' mother, Mary, holds a significant role), separation and divorce will become more prevalent.
"As we acculturate, the financial pressures, educational pressures and intergenerational pressures all put new kinds of stresses on a marital relationship and on family relationships," said Padilla, a professor of education who has researched the changing dynamics of Hispanic families.
The story of Mary Gonzalez and her family is not only one about God and motherhood -- it is a portrait of an American clan in transition. It's a story filled with hopes, dreams, successes and sorrows. It's a tale of a patriotic family, a multigenerational family and, of course, a multicultural family with the matriarch firmly in the center.
"I guess the only dream I've ever had was of being a good mother and a good grandmother," Mary Gonzalez said last week in her small but tidy home in a Fort Worth neighborhood that was known as Rock Island but now takes on the name of the nearby condo development, Trinity Bluffs.
She and Salvador were married Oct. 26, 1941, after a monthlong romance. He was 19. She was 16. At 84 and 81, they are just as much in love today as they were then.
They had two children, and then he joined the Marines, serving in the Pacific during World War II. After the war, two more children were born.
While Salvador worked at the U.S. Postal Service during the next several decades, they built their lives around the clapboard home. Mary not only raised her children but also worked at a day-care center.
"I was very protective of my kids. They had rules, and if they didn't obey them, they knew they'd be in trouble," she said. "We taught them to work and to take care of themselves."
Now they count among their family 19 grandchildren, 46 great-grandchildren and six great-great-grandchildren, with two more expected later this year.
It's a family that has produced postal workers, engineers, mechanics, teachers, homemakers and, of course, Marines.
With such a large family, divorce, death and heartache also have become part of their lives.
"We've had some who have had some problems, but I've never given up on them, and they've thanked me for not giving up on them," Mary said.
On Mother's Day, just like they do each Sunday, her four children will come to her home -- their home -- for the usual big breakfast that Mary begins preparing at 6 a.m. After Mass, at least 40 family members will go to a restaurant because they don't want Mary cooking.
Sitting in her living room, surrounded by dozens of photos of her brood, Mary, with a few tears in her eyes, reflected on her good fortune as we finished our talk.
"I have a good husband who loves me and takes care of me," she said. "I have children who love me and come see me and grandchildren and great-grandchildren who also love me.
"God has truly blessed me."
Ellie