thedrifter
04-29-07, 05:43 PM
Women want both a gentleman and a soldier
By: Stephanie Bryce, Staff Writer
Posted: 4/30/07
San Diego is teeming with attractive military men. The Navy, Marines and Coast Guard are all stationed here. Many women love dating military men, partly because of their fit bodies and attractive uniforms. The downside, of course, is that they could be involved in warfare and have to leave for long periods of time. Having a soldier as a boyfriend can be a bad proposition.
Mathematics junior Nicole D'Amelio considers herself an expert on the college/military dating experience. During the last several years, the majority of her relationships have been with servicemen. She said there are more positives than negatives to dating men in the military.
"Well, I love a man in uniform regardless," D'Amelio said. "But besides their physical appearance, there are certain benefits to dating from the military."
She explained that compared with civilian men, servicemen are often more courteous and make more of an effort to cater to their dates. They're more likely to open doors and pay for meals, movies and flowers - the more traditional style of dating.
"While many women might be offended by this behavior, it's enjoyable to be someone's center of attention," D'Amelio said. "Especially as most don't mind if I decide to pay or open my own door; they're just trying to be polite."
This courteous attitude most likely comes from their experiences in the military, but also perhaps because of the more traditional personality types of people who join the service.
In addition to courtesy, the military also offers its members a steady income and a career, something that those in college have not yet attained. With a military career, it's likely that a person's self-confidence rises and a sense of responsibility develops. These are attractive qualities to have in a relationship.
However, these same careers also involve long, threatening absences, especially with the war in Iraq.
D'Amelio is currently dating an engineer who is in the Navy. Two days ago, he was told he had one month to prepare for Iraq. Not only does he have little time to prepare, he was selected to leave individually, without his platoon.
Wartime magnifies several negative behaviors that soldiers often exhibit in relationships. For one, some soldiers deal with the stress by trying to find permanence in their relationships. Before Meghan Reinhold joined the Army herself, she briefly dated a man who is in the Navy. After knowing her for two weeks, he wanted to marry her and relentlessly called her until he was shipped overseas to Kuwait. She still defends his behavior.
"I understood him; he just wanted the assurance of having someone, of knowing he had been married in case he died overseas," Reinhold said.
Still, she was frightened by the experience. After returning six months later, he resumed calling her, accused her of cheating on him, then begged for forgiveness. Reinhold only found relief by changing her phone number. While civilian men can become just as obsessive, the stress of the military certainly makes it more prevalent. Soldiers hide their problems behind an attractive uniform.
D'Amelio agreed that to a lesser degree, many soldiers rush relationships.
"They may not necessarily ask for marriage, but many of the men I've dated like to jump ahead," she said. "They talk about being together months or years into the future, planning what we'll be doing together when we're still just trying to get to know each other. It can be uncomfortable."
Military men can go to the opposite extreme as well. Many are promiscuous and see their uniforms as a way to get as many women as possible, even if they are currently in a relationship. D'Amelio can attest to this from personal experience. Three of her soldier boyfriends have cheated on her.
Soldiers have a reputation as womanizers for a reason. Their strong physical appearance and good manners give them an advantage over other men and make it easier for them to take advantage of trusting women. Knowing they will be leaving the states for Iraq soon only makes the problem worse.
"I know this sound bad, but sometimes they try to use Iraq as leverage for sex," D'Amelio said. "It's terrible."
Really, it comes down to individuals. Wartime makes a difficult dating situation worse, so before entering into a relationship with anyone in the military, male or female, try to understand that as long as they are in the military, their job will have an overwhelming impact on their lives and yours by default. Chose your partner wisely, whether they are in the military or not.
-Stephanie Bryce is an English junior.
Ellie
By: Stephanie Bryce, Staff Writer
Posted: 4/30/07
San Diego is teeming with attractive military men. The Navy, Marines and Coast Guard are all stationed here. Many women love dating military men, partly because of their fit bodies and attractive uniforms. The downside, of course, is that they could be involved in warfare and have to leave for long periods of time. Having a soldier as a boyfriend can be a bad proposition.
Mathematics junior Nicole D'Amelio considers herself an expert on the college/military dating experience. During the last several years, the majority of her relationships have been with servicemen. She said there are more positives than negatives to dating men in the military.
"Well, I love a man in uniform regardless," D'Amelio said. "But besides their physical appearance, there are certain benefits to dating from the military."
She explained that compared with civilian men, servicemen are often more courteous and make more of an effort to cater to their dates. They're more likely to open doors and pay for meals, movies and flowers - the more traditional style of dating.
"While many women might be offended by this behavior, it's enjoyable to be someone's center of attention," D'Amelio said. "Especially as most don't mind if I decide to pay or open my own door; they're just trying to be polite."
This courteous attitude most likely comes from their experiences in the military, but also perhaps because of the more traditional personality types of people who join the service.
In addition to courtesy, the military also offers its members a steady income and a career, something that those in college have not yet attained. With a military career, it's likely that a person's self-confidence rises and a sense of responsibility develops. These are attractive qualities to have in a relationship.
However, these same careers also involve long, threatening absences, especially with the war in Iraq.
D'Amelio is currently dating an engineer who is in the Navy. Two days ago, he was told he had one month to prepare for Iraq. Not only does he have little time to prepare, he was selected to leave individually, without his platoon.
Wartime magnifies several negative behaviors that soldiers often exhibit in relationships. For one, some soldiers deal with the stress by trying to find permanence in their relationships. Before Meghan Reinhold joined the Army herself, she briefly dated a man who is in the Navy. After knowing her for two weeks, he wanted to marry her and relentlessly called her until he was shipped overseas to Kuwait. She still defends his behavior.
"I understood him; he just wanted the assurance of having someone, of knowing he had been married in case he died overseas," Reinhold said.
Still, she was frightened by the experience. After returning six months later, he resumed calling her, accused her of cheating on him, then begged for forgiveness. Reinhold only found relief by changing her phone number. While civilian men can become just as obsessive, the stress of the military certainly makes it more prevalent. Soldiers hide their problems behind an attractive uniform.
D'Amelio agreed that to a lesser degree, many soldiers rush relationships.
"They may not necessarily ask for marriage, but many of the men I've dated like to jump ahead," she said. "They talk about being together months or years into the future, planning what we'll be doing together when we're still just trying to get to know each other. It can be uncomfortable."
Military men can go to the opposite extreme as well. Many are promiscuous and see their uniforms as a way to get as many women as possible, even if they are currently in a relationship. D'Amelio can attest to this from personal experience. Three of her soldier boyfriends have cheated on her.
Soldiers have a reputation as womanizers for a reason. Their strong physical appearance and good manners give them an advantage over other men and make it easier for them to take advantage of trusting women. Knowing they will be leaving the states for Iraq soon only makes the problem worse.
"I know this sound bad, but sometimes they try to use Iraq as leverage for sex," D'Amelio said. "It's terrible."
Really, it comes down to individuals. Wartime makes a difficult dating situation worse, so before entering into a relationship with anyone in the military, male or female, try to understand that as long as they are in the military, their job will have an overwhelming impact on their lives and yours by default. Chose your partner wisely, whether they are in the military or not.
-Stephanie Bryce is an English junior.
Ellie