Relationships and the Marines

[In the Making]

I just joined in the DEP program in September of last year and though a lot of my questions on boot camp and such have been answered there is one topic that I seem to get a lot of mixed answers on and am curious about them still...Please forgive me if the questions seem kind of out there for someone like me..BUT..how exactly do relationships work in the marines? I mean, I am in a relationship with someone in the DEP program going to boot camp a month before I am and we are pretty serious, but exactly how can we manage that through out boot camp and if we are stationed differently? Are we allowed to write to each other while we're both in boot camp? And is there a way to be stationed together, or does that only work if you're married? I would really love any advice...

Thank you!

[PatriotGirl422]

There have been many posts on here about relationships in the military, so I'd suggest just searching for those threads. However I don't know that anyone has asked questions about dating a fellow poolee. All I know is that after each of you goes to boot camp you probably will not be seeing much of each other anymore (especially if you're both going active duty). You can only request to be stationed with someone if you are married. You don't get any special treatment just for dating. I was actually in a relationship with a fellow poolee myself, but being as I'm going to boot camp in three weeks, we decided it would be best to not take things too seriously and just see what happens. Maybe we'll see each other again in the future, but probably not likely. I'm assuming you'd be allowed to write to each other in boot camp, but it might be kind of tricky to get the address of the other person.

[PooleeCJohnson]

I need some advice on sorta the same thing. I'm leaving for boot in June. We plan on getting married straight after I come back from boot. We have his parents blessing but haven't yet told mine. My question is how much would I really get to see my then " husband"? I know I have to go to MCT and then my MOS school. But after I'm at my PDS what are the protocals that I need to go through to be able to live with him? And I assume that any deployments that I go on he will not be able to accompany me untill I reach the rank of SGT? or is it lower? Any advice from the married Marines on this site?

[skoozi]

I need some advice on sorta the same thing. I'm leaving for boot in June. We plan on getting married straight after I come back from boot. We have his parents blessing but haven't yet told mine. My question is how much would I really get to see my then " husband"? I know I have to go to MCT and then my MOS school. But after I'm at my PDS what are the protocals that I need to go through to be able to live with him? And I assume that any deployments that I go on he will not be able to accompany me untill I reach the rank of SGT? or is it lower? Any advice from the married Marines on this site?

My situation is similar, but I am getting married prior to shipping. My wife will ship right about the time I head to MCT. My understanding is that we have to be stationed within so many miles of each other. If/when we get to the fleet, we will live together and one or both of us may have to commute a little, but that is not really a big deal.

As I have read in another thread, you will not get an accompanied tour as a junior Marine; however, your deployment would be shorter.

If the commitment is there, I'm sure you can find a way to make it work.

[Marine84]

All I can do is shake my head and wonder why you guys want to do this so early in life. Going into the Corps with a husband is like taking a date to a bar! There will be LOTS of seperation time and you'll ALL find that there will be PLENTY of guys that you will REALLY like once you get in the fleet - they don't seperate us after bootcamp.

All I'm saying is take your time - I was engaged before I went too and when I got through with bootcamp I didn't miss him like I thought I should and THAT was the end of THAT. I started out with no distractions - nothing to weigh heavy on my mind and I had a BLAST for 4 years. Ya'll are getting ready to go places and do things that your other girlfriends won't ever get to do because they were too busy settleing for the first one that came along and having babies.

But in answer to the original question - it might be a little hard to write each other in bootcamp unless you have mutual friends that will pass the addresses. If you aren't married you can kinda sorta live off base. The way they used to do it was you HAVE to ask permission from your unit first - if they denied it, which they usually do below a certain rank, you can live off base if you would like but you'll have to lie to them, pay for it out of your own pocket AND when you have to pull duty section (do they still do that?) and field day (which used to be Thursday), you'll HAVE to stay in your assigned room at the barracks. You'll have to make it look like you're there when you're not.

[Soon2BeVIP]

I kind of have this issue to. Except I want to marry my dog. Do you think if we were married he'd be able to come to boot camp with me?

[Marine84]

Except I want to marry my dog.

I bet you've already thought about consummating the marriage already?

You're wierd!

[Achped]

Hahaha!!!

So, Lance Corporal...what are your thoughts of Marines that are out of the Corps dating poolees?

[Echo_Four_Bravo]

Honestly-- to the females posting in this thread. Think long and hard about what you are doing- particularly if you are going active duty. You're about to be the most popular person on base. If the guy you are with isn't exactly what you want, kick him to the curb. You'll have plenty to choose from soon enough.

Skoozi, you're dead wrong. The Marine Corps doesn't have to do anything. They will try to station you and your wife at the same base- or close to each other. But, if they need to send one of you to Oki and the other to Lejeune that is exactly what they're going to do.

As for dating someone else that signs up at the same time- good luck. I don't know what the policy is on writing to other recruits, but I do know that the DIs won't be in love with the idea. It is hard for junior Marines to make relationships work. With both of you dealing with that it will be next to impossible.

[yellowwing]

Its just a change. Whether you are going off to the Corps, State Poly Tech, Notre Dame, or Annapolis.

[In the Making]

well....I know that it's gonna be hard...and that many people (including DIs) may not smile happily on the idea. But if we're strong enough we can make it through. Anything is possible even in the marines, right?

[HurricaneRJ]

Anything is possible anywhere. I personally would listen to the advice that the Marines are giving. Wait a couple of months, if your "future" spouse can hold on for lets say 6 months -1 year then you know that he/she would be right for you.

But then again, If I was stationed at Camp Pendleton or 29 Palms...........Lets just say I've heard WAY to many stories of all the ladies out there.

[yellowwing]

But then again, If I was stationed at Camp Pendleton or 29 Palms...........Lets just say I've heard WAY to many stories of all the ladies out there.
Oh yeah! There are plenty of patriotic Marine Groupies out there! :marine:

[In the Making]

well right now, he is supposed to go to Virginia and me to either Florida or Mississippi....we think it could work...and I really do appreciate all the marines and such giving their advice!

and I don't think I'd be much of a groupie. lol...but hey...

[HurricaneRJ]

Oh yeah! There are plenty of patriotic Marine Groupies out there! :marine:
I know what you mean, I can't describe how many women out here love a man in a uniform.

[In the Making]

Those girls lack will power....>>....

[HurricaneRJ]

well right now, he is supposed to go to Virginia and me to either Florida or Mississippi....we think it could work...and I really do appreciate all the marines and such giving their advice!

and I don't think I'd be much of a groupie. lol...but hey... Well Common Rule #1. Your ass belongs to the Corps.

If you two could make it work. :yes:

If not, then it will be a nasty experience.:thumbdown

[HurricaneRJ]

Those girls lack will power....>>....
I took my brothers to Hooters yesterday and my brother was all decked out in his Army Greens, and I can't begin to tell you how many young ladies came up.

I'll put it this way, my brother scored a touchdown last night. Infact all the Army guys here do.

Its funny they date pretty girls then they marry ugly ones. I don't get that part.

[ssgtt32]

I have a relationship story i would like to share, i dated this one girl for approx 3 yrs, before joining the Corps, thought things were going pretty good! Went to Boot, came home on boot leave and she was 2 months preggers:p , she tried to convince me it was mine, i just laughed and told her i know i'm good but damn even i'm not that good:marine: ! Just remember to think before you leap!

Maurice

[PooleeCJohnson]

In the Making: I sure hope so. I know it's gonna be hard as hell, but I'm willing to try even if it doesn't work out in the end.

SoontobeVIP: Shut the phuck up

E4B: If there are any females that look like my best friend PFC Cook I seriously doubt that I will be the most popular person on the base. LOL. But seriously, He is what I want. And I'll wait however long I need to wait if that's what it takes.

[In the Making]

Well Common Rule #1. Your ass belongs to the Corps.

If you two could make it work. :yes:

If not, then it will be a nasty experience.:thumbdown

Yeah I know it....#1 priority whether I like it or not is the Marines. I have a clear understanding of that.

PooleeCJohnson: aint that the truth. For both things..

[PooleeCJohnson]

Don't get me wrong Marines I love the Corps but, if/when I get married/have children my family becomes my #1 priority and the Marine Corps becomes #1.5. And if I ever have the choice(I know many times I won't) I will choice my family because if I didn't have them(ie. my daughter dies) I would probably be no more use to the Corps anyways. At least not for a few months.

[Marine84]

Don't get me wrong Marines I love the Corps but, if/when I get married/have children my family becomes my #1 priority and the Marine Corps becomes #1.5. And if I ever have the choice(I know many times I won't) I will choice my family because if I didn't have them(ie. my daughter dies) I would probably be no more use to the Corps anyways. At least not for a few months.

WRONG ANSWER! Stay at home babe!

What exactly do you think you're walking into? I think you may have gotten the wrong pre-conceived notion of what military life is all about. When you sign that contract you sign EVERYTHING away and YOU belong to the Government. If the Government calls you up in the middle of the night and tells you to high tail your a$$ to East Bum!uck somewhere you better have your bag packed already.

Or will you be one of those that will ride the Corps' coattail and stay pregnant your entire enlistment?

[Integrity57]

I know of two different guys that both got married at 18 or so and then enlisted in the Air Force and went to Basic, graduated, and then got stationed at their first PDS. One of them was about to ship to Iraq and his wife divorced him saying that he had changed and wasn't the person he was before, blah, blah, blah. The other got stationed out in California and within like 6 monthes, his wife divorced him, I don't know the exact reason but I think it was b/c they jumped into it a little too soon. All the people I'm talking about were between 17 to 19 years old when this all went down. From my own personal experience, long distance relationships just don't work. And I only lived maybe 500 miles away, her reasoning was that it hurt too much when she or I had to leave to go back home. But this is just my two cents, make your own decisions.

[momincmbtboots]

Some things never change....you people just getting ready to ship out, don't get married or plan on getting married before you leave or for at least the first year. You're about to go thru the biggest life changing experience you can have-next to having kids-just in boot camp alone, you'll grow up, become more disciplined, have a greater understaning of the rules and why they have 'em. When I went to boot camp in '85, I was engaged to my high school sweetheart. I had 10 days leave between there and school and couldn't even stand being around him anymore. Within my first week at school, we broke up. Something to consider: those who think they know/understand you, won't do either when you come home after boot. From that point on, the only person who will truly understand you is another Marine.

[Echo_Four_Bravo]

OK, I have let this go as long as I can. Always, and I mean ALWAYS capitalize Marine!

Now, back to the issue at hand. You don't have a choice. You get married, you have kids, the Corps is still priority number 1 while you are on active duty. You don't get to say that your family is more important.

Now, when I said the DIs wouldn't be happy about the letters, I don't know if you understood. If I were a DI and a recruit received a letter from a female recruit I would wear him out. He would push until MCRD flooded because it was so far below sea level. He would be on the quarter deck every single time we went in the squad bay and to the pit every time we left the squad bay. He would be in pain until he got you to stop writing him letters. I assume the female DIs would respond in the same way.

[Marine84]

From that point on, the only person who will truly understand you is another Marine.

OOHRAH my Sister!

[Achped]

Echo Four Bravo, what you've said is absolutely what happens. My friend went (honor grad actually) and he wrote to his cousin in 4th bn, but he left the return address area BLANK.

Recruits in his platoon caught on and eventually started writing "cute" 4th Bn girls using this method...he said it worked.


Until a 4th Bn recruit slipped and wrote her return address on it, and eventually the whole scheme unravelled which caused the entire platoon to play with their race cars in the squad bay for an afternoon.

[Echo_Four_Bravo]

Not filling out the return address is a good idea. The envelops they gave us would have been a dead giveaway, but I think they are plain now. There's a piece of advice for the two headed to boot camp though. Just don't expect to actually get away with it so you won't be shocked when they find out.

[PooleeCJohnson]

WRONG ANSWER! Stay at home babe!

What exactly do you think you're walking into? I think you may have gotten the wrong pre-conceived notion of what military life is all about. When you sign that contract you sign EVERYTHING away and YOU belong to the Government. If the Government calls you up in the middle of the night and tells you to high tail your a$$ to East Bum!uck somewhere you better have your bag packed already.

Or will you be one of those that will ride the Corps' coattail and stay pregnant your entire enlistment?


LCpl, If you look at my post I said if I have a choice. If meaning sometimes I know I won't and will have to go somewhere the corps needs me but, IF I have the choice then I will choose my family because while my husband may not always be there for me any children I have will always be mine. And will be treated with such respect. Any time I have I choice in the matter. And about the pregnacy comment. Hell no( With all due respect) I'm not going to stay pregnant my whole carrer(as I plan on staying in 20 years). But I'm not waiting 20 years to have a child either just because I'm in the Corps. But this is all premature anyways because any kids I have are years away.

[jinelson]

by In The Making - Anything is possible even in the marines, right? we think it could work...and I really do appreciate all the marines and such giving their advice!

Marines is always capitalized! You may want to check these two links out for our rules here.

http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?t=28989

http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?t=29048

Jim

[Phantom Blooper]

I, Poolee Showershoe, take you the United States Marine Corps to be my lawfully wedded life,
knowing in my heart that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
On this special day of arriving at the MCRD,
I willngive to you
in the presence of God and all those in attendance at DEP my pledge&sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful servant
in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad .
I further promise to love you without reservation,
honor and respect you, give you my 110% and
provide for your needs as best I can.
I will protect you from harm,
comfort you in times of distress,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as we both shall live!!!!!!!! :evilgrin: :marine:

[Marine84]

HAHAHAHAHA - only you Phantom!

[Marine84]

Those girls lack will power....>>....

You'll lack it too when you enter that great big "candy store" ;)

[PooleeCJohnson]

I, Poolee Showershoe, take you the United States Marine Corps to be my lawfully wedded life,
knowing in my heart that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
On this special day of arriving at the MCRD,
I willngive to you
in the presence of God and all those in attendance at DEP my pledge&sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful servant
in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad .
I further promise to love you without reservation,
honor and respect you, give you my 110% and
provide for your needs as best I can.
I will protect you from harm,
comfort you in times of distress,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as we both shall live!!!!!!!! :evilgrin: :marine:


HAHAHA:thumbup:

[Soon2BeVIP]

SoontobeVIP: Shut the phuck up

Nah...

[Phantom Blooper]

I kind of have this issue to. Except I want to marry my dog.


An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple.

The old man just stared. The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?



The old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a pink & blue poodle. I was just wondering if you were my son ! ":banana:

[Soon2BeVIP]

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple.

The old man just stared. The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?



The old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a pink & blue poodle. I was just wondering if you were my son ! ":banana:


HAHA YES!

Good joke.

[PooleeCJohnson]

I retract earlier statemeant. IntheMaking you're on your own.

[SgtHMH]

Well if you are both going to MCRD PI and you are in the 1st, 2nd or 3rd Recruit Battalion and she is in the 4th Recruit Battalion it might save you both on postage stamps lolololol, but prepare for alot of class room time and alot of questions. Also the fire watches will be told to watch you close, you may try to find her on the island and have some PT. So this will be some fun kind of talk going on in your Platoon and the DIs will have some fun with this, so prepare for alot of games, questions and even might have to sign paper work on this whole matter and she will be going through the samething. Sex is to much of thing that can go without and you two will be on the same island and so close, if that is where you both are. You two will be watched like hawks.

Semper Fi