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thedrifter
04-09-07, 01:03 PM
Not enough celebs for troops
GORDON DILLOW
Register columnist
GLDillow@aol.com

Hollywood celebrities often claim that while they detest the Bush administration and the war in Iraq, they still "support the troops." But the sad fact is that you could rake the Oscars and the Emmys and the Grammys with grapeshot from a cannon and probably not hit a celebrity who actually cares enough about the men and women in uniform to do anything for them.

But then there are celebs like comedian Dennis Miller.

Miller is the former "Saturday Night Live" star turned political commentator and talk show host. You may have seen him on HBO or Fox News or heard his syndicated radio show on KLRA, or remember his stint as the "color" guy on "Monday Night Football." Although left-leaning on social issues, when it comes to fighting the war against terrorism Miller is to the right of Dick Cheney – which may make him the loneliest guy to live and breathe air in Hollywood.

In any event, Miller was in Orange County one night last week for a party. But it wasn't some big celebrity party.

Instead, it was just a little going-away party for a relatively small group of U.S. Marines and Navy sailors.

Or at least it started out little. You see, in recent years Errol and Naomi Payne of Dana Point have routinely hosted groups of Marines from Camp Pendleton at their home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. One of the Paynes' family friends is Marine Capt. Warren Cook, 31, commander of Lima Company, 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment.

So when the Paynes heard that Lima Company would soon be deploying overseas as part of the 13th Marine Expeditionary Unit – which means they could wind up almost anywhere – they wanted to throw them a going-away party. But their house wasn't big enough to hold the entire company.

So the Paynes contacted their friends Bo and Dick Marconi, who run the Marconi Automotive Museum in Tustin – it's a 16,000-square foot showroom stocked with classic Mustangs and million dollar Ferraris – for help with the party, and the Marconis contacted some other influential friends and contacts (too many to list here). And the thing just grew and grew.

You should understand that, while a number of outstanding Orange County groups host events for military people coming and going from overseas, the usual pre-deployment going-away party for most Marines these days is still just a barbeque at the beach with some beers in ice-filled plastic garbage cans.

But what the 300 Marines of Lima Company and attached units and their wives and girlfriends got this time was a lavish bash at the auto museum with great food, an appearance by some Playboy models — "It reminds them of what they're fighting for," joked Capt. Cook -- and a stand-up routine donated by the aforementioned Dennis Miller.

And the Marines loved it.

Miller's humor is a little hard to reproduce in print. He's known for wry, seemingly stream-of-consciousness rants peppered with obscure references.

For example, I'm not sure a lot of the Marines got it when, in talking about drilling for oil in Alaska, Miller said he would stick a pipe into that state and "suck it drier than Noel Coward's memoirs" – and in fact, I'm not sure I really got it, either. On the other hand, he got big laughs when he described a plan by the French government to discourage fast-food consumption as an effort to "raise healthier cowards."

But it was when he got serious that Miller really hit the mark. Unlike some celebrities – say, for example, Rosie O'Donnell, who probably would have advised the Marines to go AWOL to Canada – Miller told those Marines exactly what they and other young people in uniform need to hear from rich and powerful celebrities.

"The most important people in this culture are people like you," Miller told them. "You're the best and brightest of us, and you're protecting us against madmen, fighting the most savage enemy we've ever fought. Not a day goes by that I don't pray for you. ... I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

"It's important to hear things like that," Lance Cpl. Mike Passarella, 21, of Philadelphia, who has already served one tour in Iraq, told me later. "It makes us feel good that people at that level support us."

As for the party itself, Mike said, "It's the best going-away party I've ever had."

Now, Dennis Miller obviously isn't the only showbiz celebrity who goes out of his way to help the troops. Singer Wayne Newton, country star Toby Keith and some others also devote a lot of their time to entertaining military personnel – and in fairness, even arch-liberal comedian Al Franken performs at USO shows. But there aren't enough of them.

True, we may never again see the likes of the late, legendary Bob Hope, who devoted much of his life and career to entertaining U.S. troops in war zones. But in the meantime, Americans in uniform – and perhaps America in general – could use a hundred more Dennis Millers.

And at least one less Rosie O'Donnell.

Gordon Dillow served as an Army sergeant in Vietnam and has several times been an embedded reporter with Marine infantry units in Iraq. Contact him at 714-796-7953 or GLDillow@aol.com

Ellie