Getting worried.

[HisGirl]

I read the thread at the top about stress.
My husband is having a terrible time dealing with the stress since he came home from his second deployment to Iraq. He has nightmares, he doesn't sleep well, he is jumpy -- AND he has been home 14 months now. The doctors -- as usual -- are more than happy to hand out bottle after bottle of dang pills for anxiety and stress--- which raise his blood pressure. He is a lot quieter than before. I don't know what to do at this point. I have ASKED him if he had thought about a conseling group-- he ignored my question. I won't ask again. I know better. I have told him to stop being so hard on himself and give himself time to re-adjust -- but he just glares at me. Any help that won't tick him off would be welcome. :confused:

[montana]

not a doc....but went therw same same....just listen to what he has to say when he wants to talk about it i got alought of ..i dont want to hear it or my god man that was 10 years ago ect....i had lots of guilt feelings about friends left behinde....those kia when i was there...hindesight and all...leaving a job undone....and depression from not being able to get the adrnalin rushes that getting shot at can give you....may be in time he will see that counseling will help....it does...at least in my case it did...helped me to see that i was a 19 year old airehead haveing to make life and death choises for others without the years of expireance....then beat myself up for it for years later.

thats all i have to say about it...i wish him and you well
sf

[YLDNDN6]

Also not a doctor, but this may be a useful suggestion. I don't know if he is aware of this site or not, but it could be somewhat "therapeutic" to come in here now and again and interact with some of the Marines who have been there done that. The Marines who represent here are outstanding individuals who will give of their time and energy to help if they can. Maybe having someone with similar experience to private message with might give him an outlet of some sort which may be helpful. Eventually, he may even be convinced that therapy would be helpful (my own opinion) to get him through some of his issues. Maybe hearing this from someone who has been through the therapy route might help. Just my 2 cents. By the way, Happy Birthday!!!

[Marine84]

Honey - GET OFF OF HIM ABOUT IT! He will talk to you about it when HE is ready. Don't take it personally if he doesn't but quit asking all the questions. Be patient, don't ask, and DON'T sign him up for counseling or anything that YOU think HE needs!

[HisGirl]

I would never do such a thing to him and I have not been harrassing him about it. He was complaining to me about the meds they put him on and I only ASKED if he had thought about counseling when he asked ME if I had any suggestions. He has been a Marine for 17 years and we have been together a long time. He knows he can talk to me anytime he needs or wants to and I will always listen. But I certainly have not been on his case about this issue. I am a little brighter than that.

[Sgt Leprechaun]

HG, sounds like you are doing fine. I've BTDT with that stuff myself.

Ask him to just come here, log on, do a profile, and hang out. There are plenty of Marines here who have chewed some of the same dirt he has, eventually, he'll hook up with them.

The best meds are NOT drugs, but that is only my opinion. Counseling, even peer counseling (that means a BS session with the buddies) is about the only way to work this stuff out. He's gotta talk it out, and tell the stories over, and over and over again. It won't be easy (it never is), but it will get easier with time.

Stick with it as best you can. Send him here.

Take care.

[jinelson]

Thats some outstanding advice Sgt Leprechaun! You know what your talking about and I couldnt have said it better. Thanks bro.

Jim

[Sgt Leprechaun]

No worries, SSgt. If we don't have each others back, there damn sure ain't no one else gonna do it for us.

HG, I didn't have access to this last night, but this quote may help you understand, just a little bit. The guy who wrote it is a BTDT as well.


"He knew that...the war was still in him, and that it would be in him for a long time to come, for soldiers who have been blooded are soldiers forever. They never fit in. Even when they finally settle down, the settling is tenuous, for when they close their eyes they see their comrades who have fallen. That they cannot forget, that they do not forget, that they never allow themselves to heal completely, is their way of expressing their love for friends who have perished. And they will not change, because they have become what they have become to keep the fallen alive."
--Mark Helprin, A Soldier of the Great War