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crate78
01-23-07, 11:36 AM
This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations) starts here:




Employee --"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

Customer--"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Employee --"What sort of trouble?"

Customer--" Well, I was just typing a long, and all of a sudden the words went away."

Employee --"Went away?"

Customer--" They disappeared."

Employee --"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Customer--" Nothing."

Employee --"Nothing?"

Customer--" It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Employee --"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Customer" How do I tell?"

Employee --"Can you see the 'C:' prompt on the screen?"

Customer--" What is a sea prompt?"

Employee--"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Customer--" There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Employee --"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer--" What's a monitor?"

Employee --"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer- -" I don't know."

Employee --"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see th at?"

Customer--" Yes, I think so."

Employee --"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer--" Yes, it is."

Employee --"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into t he back of it, not just one?"

Customer--" No."

Employee --"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Customer--" Okay, here it is."

Employee --"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Customer--" I can't reach."

Employee --"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer--" No."

Employee --"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Customer--" Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."

Employee --"Dark?"

Customer--" Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Employee --"Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer--" I can't."

Employee --"No? Why not?"

Customer--" Because there's a power failure."

Employee --"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Customer--" Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Employee --"Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Customer--" Really? Is it that bad?"

Employee --"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer--" Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Employee --"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."


***********************

This is right up there with the gal who complained to her computer manufacturer that the cup holder on the front of her computer broke. Turned out she was referring to the CD tray.

crate

10thzodiac
01-23-07, 12:43 PM
When I took computing in Jr. College '03, my instructor said, "You'll have to probably buy a new computer every three years." Later explaining, newer software will be a problem and space.

I think I'm there now, I have a Dell 8250 with XP Home and after I installed IE 7 on it when it came out last year it seemed okay. I then switched IP's from dial-up to DSL (AT&T SBC) and Whoa ! Really acts weird now. I had the AT&T people tell me that the world (them too) is still on IE 6 yet and there is a software incompatibility with IE 7.

I contacted MS and after many hours of the India-n's who sound like they are talking English but aren't helping me, my computer still has allot of nuisance issues.

Is this planned obsolescence, or someone just forgot to make it simple for stupid.

When I finished my computing courses for seniors at Jr. College the instructor told the class, "Congratulations, you all now have a fourth grade education in computers, but don't feel bad, you know more than 80 % of the people who own computers." http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/tsmileys2/11.gif

I Just read an article in the Wall Street Journal (January 18th), that MS new "Vista" operating system isn't that great, but do not try to put it on a computer more than 18 months old. And even some not 18 months old will bog down too.

WTF, is this a slippery slope every three years (approximately) that Bill Gates puts his hands in our pockets so we have to keep current ? If his stock would go up I wouldn't mind, but it hasn't.

Thank you in advance for any advice.

SF
10thz

drumcorpssnare
01-23-07, 01:13 PM
10thz- You have a Dell 8250??? I thought you had been using an "Etch-a-Sketch" LOL:D
drumcorpssnare:usmc:

10thzodiac
01-23-07, 01:49 PM
10thz- You have a Dell 8250??? I thought you had been using an "Etch-a-Sketch" LOL:D
drumcorpssnare:usmc:

No animals or plants were harmed in asking this question. Any similarity with any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental and unintended.

This question contains a substance known by the state of <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:State><ST1:place>California</ST1:place></st1:State> to cause excessive moronic stupidity in pogues. Use with adequate ventilation.http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/tsmileys2/13.gif<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O:P></O:P>

crate78
01-23-07, 01:52 PM
I have a three year old HP unit running on XP. I installed IE7 and it screwed everything up so bad I immediately uninstalled it and went back to IE6.

I read an article about Vista that said to the effect that unless you specifically want one of the changes offered by Vista, you're far better off to stay with XP. The fellow (wizard?) who wrote the article said learning Vista is almost like learning computers all over again.

Around five years ago, I took an online course in Office from a local community college. I was running Office 97 Professional. The course was based on Office 2000. I went to the campus book store to buy Office 2000 and found that a week before all the 2000 had been pulled and XP put on the shelf. I bought XP, but found since the course was based on 2000 that between Word, Excel, Power Point, and Access, I had to do some of the course on 97, some would run on XP, and some I had to go to a computer lab on campus and do on 2000. I just happened to hit it during a transition period. Even the instructor was baffled.

I'm probably going to have to upgrade my processor sometime soon, but I don't want to because this one still has a floppy drive, a CD drive/burner, and an expansion slot to add a DVD drive/burner. I'd hate to give up the floppy drive because I have a lot of college work and various writings stored on floppies that I refer to occasionally and it would be a pain to transfer it all to a flash drive.

Question: I've upgraded my RAM to 768 Megs, but I just have a 40 Gig hard drive. It now does everything I want it to, but would I gain anything, particularly speed, if I upgrade my hard drive to 80 or more? I've heard both ways.

Guess I started this thread on a joke and it turned in to a serious discussion.

crate

drumcorpssnare
01-23-07, 01:57 PM
crate78- Who you callin' "serious"?:D
:banana:
drumcorpssnare:usmc:

maverickmarine
01-23-07, 02:19 PM
Yeah, I was looking for some follow up to your joke, which was freakin' hilarious. And I see computer geek talk, no good. BTW, I think the guy should've been promoted as well, are you freakin' kidding me with that ****?????A power outage....please don't breed, LOL

Katzman
01-23-07, 03:09 PM
That was a good laugh.

killerinstinct
01-23-07, 03:31 PM
LOL reminds me of a story. My top they got computers and he was using the mouse like a remote to control the computer. I had to leave the room after hearing him curse while drinking his special morning coffee.

10thzodiac
01-23-07, 03:36 PM
Guess I started this thread on a joke and it turned in to a serious discussion.

crate

crate78, you are definitely into it, thanks for the info!

I had tried un-installing IE 7 too and I went back to IE 6, but it appears IE 7 left a big footprint on my system, how I don't know. I'm tired of listening to those India-n's from AT&T and MS having me do the same old fixes over and over that do not work; all they do is fuk it up worse. Thank God for system restore.

Sounds like you went to the same Jr. College with the experiences you describe. The first time I walked out of class the first day demanding my money back the instructor was so screwed up. I grinned and bared it there two years latter with another dud instructor (not as bad). I got lucky and had a great instructor for Computer 102, 103 and Word 2002. The instructors for Computer 104 and MS Front Page 2003 could of have been better, but sufficed.

Since my 'puter is just as screwed up with IE 6 or without it, I went back to IE 7 again, hopefully someday (LOL) my AT&T IP will get up to speed with IE 7.

I'm going to write the president of ATT&T and complain. I want someone to fix this problem or a refund, as I'm not getting what I'm paying for. You wouldn't believe what success I have had in the past doing that with other problems. And if that fails the "Better Business Bureau" gets corporate attention. I was just blown off by the Home Depots president; I then contacted the Chicago BBB who forwarded it to the Atlanta BBB. Home Depot sent me a $400 gift card. Once, I even got half back from Visa on a Hawaii vacation through AAA Chicago Motor Club. Visa paid me, when it was the Motor Club that who got my money, can't beat that with a stick ! There is alway Pro Se court too. Perseverance...

crate78, thanks for your time, help and insight.

Much appreciated.

SF
10thz

davecerami275
01-23-07, 07:34 PM
CRATE,,,,, you owe me a fukcing monitor i just spewed pepsi all over mine after reading that