Moral Dilema

[SkilletsUSMC]

Ok... here it is.

The Wife has gone to work and I have the rare day off, so I figured I would run this by all of you. My time in the Marine Corps is too short to deploy with my Unit for its next pump back to Iraq. Most of the guys I came into the unit as a Boot are FAP'ed out just like me and will only return for 1 month untill our EAS. My wife is quite pleased with the very low chance of me having to return for a third time.

But there is something eating me up. I cant stop thinking about extending my contract and going back. I cant get the place out of my head. Plus knowing that the Vast majority of the unit going back will be very green, and knowing that the Corps is hurting for bodies makes me want to come back to keep getting some. If I were to extend my wife would literally have panic attack. There is one thing that is different this time though and that is the feeling in my gut that just KNOWS that I will get smoked this time arround. The past two deployments I just had that feeling that I was gonna make it, and it seems to be gone.

Like I said, its a delema. I respect you all and value your opinions, so please pipe in.

[outlaw3179]

Dude Ill be real honest with you . You can try to talk yourself out of it, you can tell yourself a million reasons why you shouldnt go, your family can try convince you , but you and only you know why you HAVE to go. I can comepletely feel for the situation that your in right now. Im in the exact same one. Something inside you , something that cant be explained drives you to serve and be a part of something bigger than yourself.
Ive come to the conclusion that I cant go. Ive been on 3 deployments and I've served my time. I still feel like I owe but nothing will ever change that. I have a wife , 2 little boys , a good career and a good life. It hasnt been easy but Ive almost made up my mind that I cant go back. Im starting to feel more comfortable with that decision. Its something that you have to be able to live with, but remember man, you've done your time. Nobody can tell you that you copped out or your cutting when your boys needed you. I know that your all twisted up inside but you just have to know that you've done your time. I know you think they need your guidance and your leadership and its true they do but be comfortable knowing that if you dont go there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
In any case Marine whatever you decide Semper Fi and be safe.

[10thzodiac]

You have done more than most

Your loyalty is admirable

Time to think about your family, they need you !

SF
10thzodiac

[SGTBrentG]

I don't post often and I never agree with anything 10th says.....:)

I do however, agree with him this time. You have done more than most and you owe nothing to anyone but yourself and your family. Time to guide those little ones to being the man that you are! Whatever you decide, good luck and God bless!

[drumcorpssnare]

skilletsUSMC- It's understood that you care deeply for your fellow Marines. But consider this...you are but one Marine looking out for the new guys. The entire Marine Corps, literally hundreds of thousands of Marines, now has that duty. You have done enough. Your duty now is to your family.

The other thing to consider...All too often, those who are sure they won't come back, don't. The Corps might want you to fight. It doesn't want you to die.

Whatever you decide, my prayers and thoughts are with you, Marine.
drumcorpssnare:usmc:

[yellowwing]

That's between you and the Mrs Skillet. I don't know if you two have kids or not, maybe its time. Pass on your character to some younguns of your own.

You know you've done your best to train your men and you know their character. Trust in that. Trust in the Corps.

You know if Iraq turns into a "Big Show", complete with Syrian or Iranian Revolutionary Guards, that you'd be over there in a heartbeat.

'Snare is right. Prayer don't hurt at all. Semper Fi

[The1stSgt]

Skillets, I agree with the rest of the Marines here. You've had your time in combat and survived it, twice.

Your sense of obligation to train the green Marines back in your unit is commendable.

However, you have a wife that's waited on your return twice and she wants you with her. Be loyal and faithful to her now, she's the great partner you'll ever have.

"Stand down Marine"

[GySgtRet]

You have done your time twice. Nobody should or could ever state that you haven't do your time. Be with the family. We can all understand your dilema and being torn between the Corps and family, it is family time. Stand down Marine you have done your part and more.

Semper Fi

[STA0311]

My unit is over there for the second time...I chose to let my contract run out and not go because of 3 reasons. My wife and my 2 little girls. I want to be able to run with them as they grow and not have to take the chance of never seeing them again or losing that leg that I need to run with them. After 8 years, it was time for my wife to have my attention and not the Corps. I cant make your mind up for you, but brother, you did your time...give what you have left to your family and be proud that you have made it as far as you have!

Sepmer!

[rb1651]

I am in agreement with the rest on this one, Skillets. You have done your time and served your Country and Corps honorably. It's time for you to make that same commitment to your family. I thank you for your service, but it's time to move on with your family. God Bless and good luck, Marine.

[SkilletsUSMC]

Well I thank everyone for their input. One thing that I may not have made clear is that I dont have kids, but my wife is still family.

I didnt get the reaction I thought I would, and thats ok. What I needed is a push in any direction, my brain housing group is jammed and I need some help clearing it.

One more thing to add, is if not me then who will? I joined the Corps at an older age because I could see that the US was in for a long hard battle and was gonna need me. I dont see that changing now...

[thedrifter]

SkilletsUSMC

My opinion...and not a Marine...but a Marine's wife for over 31 years...

I live in Jacksonville. and surrounded by Marines...

I hear their stories of why they are in the Marines, and why they want to continue on..or the complete opposite...

I would look into YOUR heart and see what YOU really want....but Please talk over with Your wife the Pro's and Con's in what is the Best for Both of You..

Ellie

[SGTBrentG]

Kids or no kids, my answer remains the same. You have paid your dues and then some. Give you wife all of you for a change. The Corps and America will be just fine.........thanks for your service Marine!

[iamcloudlander]

When my time came to EAS from the Marine Corps I was in the same dilemna as yourself. I went to one of the finest officers I knew and explained to him basically what you wrote. This was the answer he gave me hope it can help you in getting past this problem.
His answer was: Take a bucket and fill it to the brim with water, then make a fist and place on the bottom of the bucket, pull your fist out of the water as rapidly as possible. See how long it takes the water to settle down and this is the time it takes to replace us in life.
Two tours is enough for anyone and someday you may have children this will be your legacy not Iraq or even the Marine Corps.
Good luck in whichever path you choose

[TazMatt]

Skillets, I too agree with the other Marines that have answered your question.You have done your time twice over and now is the time for some one else to take up the slack.As was said you now need to discuss with Mrs. Skillet on what she wants you to do, either way it is a decision that the two of you must make.Go in prayer and seek the will of your Savior or what ever you believe in during time of needs.Semper Fi Marine carry on job well done,take a rest let someone else take the torch and belive me there are many other Marines waiting for this time. Sgt.Matt:flag: :usmc:

[Camper51]

Skillet, you don't have a moral dilemma, just a dilemma. You are not choosing between a right and a wrong. You are trying to make and justify a choice. No matter which path you choose it must be the right path for YOU. Hopefully your wife will be in full agreement with your choice, if not then you must be prepared to lose her.

Good luck...

[SkilletsUSMC]

Very interesting indeed. I can say enough how greatfull I am to get ALL of this input. Im currious as to how re-enlisting would change the dynamic in this case? guys who want to make it a carreer can spend some serrious time in country.

[SkilletsUSMC]

Skillet, you don't have a moral dilemma, just a dilemma. You are not choosing between a right and a wrong. You are trying to make and justify a choice. No matter which path you choose it must be the right path for YOU. Hopefully your wife will be in full agreement with your choice, if not then you must be prepared to lose her.

Good luck...

The Moral part of the dilema is "does my need to get back into the **** outweigh my need to make my wife happy" One part is selfish, and the other is basing my actions on other peoples wishes. So in my case it feels like there is a right and wrong. But thanks for pointing out that it's not like Im deciding wether or not to rip-off a 7/11 for the rent money.

[winniele]

Hey SkilletsUSMC, do you think your wife will support you if you decided to go back to Iraq or re-enlist?

[SkilletsUSMC]

Hey SkilletsUSMC, do you think your wife will support you if you decided to go back to Iraq or re-enlist?

I dont know... In the long run probably, but she would do back flips for weeks...

[GySgtRet]

Well I thank everyone for their input. One thing that I may not have made clear is that I dont have kids, but my wife is still family.
My point is for your future. I think that your Mrs. is looking that way too. Just a Gunny's intuition working here.

I know that this isn't an easy choice to make. But look at it this way your wife doesn't look at herself as being a choice trust me on this brother. Women are not as soft as you think they are. Soft interior and exterior but there is something else inside and it is calloed it is my turn now.

Just my 2 cents.

[Camper51]

I dont know... In the long run probably, but she would do back flips for weeks...

Hmmmm If my wife did backflips they would be backflips of joy that I'm gone!!!!!

Not really, just funnin ya.

I know you will make the right choice.

Good luck...

[bootlace15]

Skillits,

The question is,were you ever green going to war? How many other Marines have thought of the same things that you are thinking about now. If you are wondering about going back,then you have already answered your own question,your own doubt is the answer. You did your job and that is that. Be glad that you are still alive to wonder what to do next. Job well done. We are all proud of you,and everyone else serving this great country.

Once a Marine always a Marine NO MATTER WHAT. Now take some time,and get some valueable sleep to refresh your head. Thanks for serving.

SEMPER FI,

bootlace15 out
100% disabled combat wounded
and proud of it

[drumcorpssnare]

skilletsUSMC- I posted yesterday, with a slant toward, "you've already served your time. Look after your family."
On the other side of the coin...wives, mothers, daughters, and sisters have, since the beginning of warfare, been hardening themselves to the realities of their loved one going off to battle. It's part of "what they do" as women. And while it can't be easy, they somehow manage to get through it.

If you go, your family will survive.

drumcorpssnare:usmc:

[SkilletsUSMC]

Well hearing what I have about increased troop levels, I may not have to make the choice.

[sgt tony]

The question I have not seen is do you want to stay in the Marines? If you are going to get out then you have that decision made and you need not look any wheres else. Yes you have done what has been asked of you and all you can do is pass on what you know to help the others. If toy are going to stan in you might look at a different MOS. But what ever you and the wife decide will be the path that you must follow.
If deep down you want to go it will be with you. No one knows what might happen that is why the decesion must be from the heart.

Semper Fi Marine

[SkilletsUSMC]

The question I have not seen is do you want to stay in the Marines? If you are going to get out then you have that decision made and you need not look any wheres else. Yes you have done what has been asked of you and all you can do is pass on what you know to help the others. If toy are going to stan in you might look at a different MOS. But what ever you and the wife decide will be the path that you must follow.
If deep down you want to go it will be with you. No one knows what might happen that is why the decesion must be from the heart.

Semper Fi Marine

I will miss much of it when I do get out, when ever that may be, but I couldnt make it a career. For me going back would be about getting one last shot at mike the Muj... There is a cetain freedom overthere that I cant get back here. I know I cant just keep crossdecking to stay there, and that one day wll be my last day in country either as a KIA WIA or just rotating back, but I feel like its not quite over for me...

[Davids Girl]

Hey SkilletsUSMC,

I read this post and it left me with a "deer in the headlights" look on my face. I haven't been a member of this forum for a long time, however I have learned a lot of things since I have been. And though my heart and my soul do not like war, I respect what you all do over there to give us the chance to walk our streets at night and feel freedom in everything I do.

As I read through all the replys from your fellow Marines, I can't tell you what happened to my heart. It grew and filled with tears.

All these men supporting you 250% no matter which way you go brought tears streaming down my cheeks.

So I just wanted to say... Thank you.
Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart for everything you've done so that I can sit here in my warm cozy house, with high speed internet and cable television and have Mexican food take out on speed dial. Thank you for being one of the millions who've helped keep our country free.

You all are amazing.
I don't have a Marine as a husband, or even a boyfriend (nevermind the whole "David's Girl" Disaster lol, I'm just stuck with the screen name now. Lesson Learned: THANK GOD IT WASN'T A TATTOO!!) however, if I did, I would be more than proud either way if he was serving in Iraq, or coming home late from a long day busting his butt here on US soil. Of course I can't lie, I would always want him near me.

So again, Thank you Marine.
Sincerely,
Angela - A friend of Marines

[montana]

my bro in nam made it to 50 day left in country...his last time out he said he felt like he wasnt going to come back....a fifty lb boobytrap made his feelings come true........

[ErikHeiker]

If you know you're not going to make it a career, then hold your head up high as you head out the gate for the last time with your honorable discharge in hand. Those young Marines will be in capable...

[Sgt Leprechaun]

I have mixed feelings; on one hand, how much are you going to look in the mirror, 5 years from now, and say "Dammit, I wish I wulda...." On the other hand, no one, not even 'you', can say you haven't 'done your time' and got multiple T shirts.

Either way, there will be some regrets, I'm sure. The biggest question you have to ask yourself, and your wife, is, can both of you live with those 'regrets'? The 'regret' of getting out now, and not going back...or the 'regret' of going back and perhaps finding the 'golden BB' that eventually, sooner or later, finds us all.

If you are looking to stay in, and make this a career, there are re-enlistment options available that would probably ('probably' because we both know nothing is set in stone) keep you stateside for at least a year or two; more than that in some of the 'b' billets. However, that being said, the wife may feel like you are home less than you ever were.

Bottom line, in my mind, is, you've already done your time, and more than most people, and some Marines. If you decide NOT to go, you've earned that right.

S/F,

[marine6674]

Skillets,
I agree with the others. You have done your time in hell, it is now time to step down and be with your loved ones. The DI'S have trained them well and their brother Marines will watch over them. Always remember you will always be a MARINE.

[SuNmAN]

Ok... here it is.

The Wife has gone to work and I have the rare day off, so I figured I would run this by all of you. My time in the Marine Corps is too short to deploy with my Unit for its next pump back to Iraq. Most of the guys I came into the unit as a Boot are FAP'ed out just like me and will only return for 1 month untill our EAS. My wife is quite pleased with the very low chance of me having to return for a third time.

But there is something eating me up. I cant stop thinking about extending my contract and going back. I cant get the place out of my head. Plus knowing that the Vast majority of the unit going back will be very green, and knowing that the Corps is hurting for bodies makes me want to come back to keep getting some. If I were to extend my wife would literally have panic attack. There is one thing that is different this time though and that is the feeling in my gut that just KNOWS that I will get smoked this time arround. The past two deployments I just had that feeling that I was gonna make it, and it seems to be gone.

Like I said, its a delema. I respect you all and value your opinions, so please pipe in.

you've already done your time in that God forsaken land man...think of your family for once.

[Quinbo]

Hopefully my story will never apply to you. I got into a cycle of deployment... go to a school... deployment.... go to a school ad nauseaum. My first wife walked in one day with divorce papers. <br />
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