I Resolve ...

[thedrifter]

I Resolve ...
By R. Andrew Newman
Published 12/29/2006 12:07:25 AM

People who don't make New Year's resolutions worry me. Are they perfect? Are they simply waiting for the great up escalator to descend from the sky? Are they biding their time until Barack Hussein Obama delivers us from this red-blue valley of tears and into that promised and purple land of prosperity and plenty? Or are they simply lazy?

Notice I said make, not keep, resolutions. The former is easier than the latter. Motivational experts have some suggestions to make and keep resolutions.

The goal should be achievable. This would rule out vowing to complete the Boston marathon for someone whose only well-traveled path is through the plush carpet to the fridge and back again to the recliner, and whose only success in cutting calories comes when he eventually tires of the trip and rests his weary noggin on his multiple chins.

The goal should be significant. This doesn't mean it has to be earth-shaking. It wouldn't be wise to resolve, "I shall not only visualize whirled peas, but also I shall achieve it." The fact that the goal-setter has no fleet of strategic bombers at his command puts his desire to achieve world peace out of reach. Naturally, this ties into achievability.

As for significant, this means the resolution should be something beyond, say, "I shall soap my left arm before my right arm in the shower." While the goal should be something reachable, it shouldn't be too easy. The Spanish philosopher Ortega y Gasset divided humanity into two groups: "those who make great demands on themselves, piling up difficulties and duties; and those who demand nothing special of themselves, but for whom to live is to be every moment what they already are, without imposing on themselves any effort towards perfection; mere buoys that float on the waves."

In other words, it might be too easy for a buoy whose favorite fruit is hops to resolve that his motto for the Year of Our Lord 2007 will be "Beer me PDQ!" He's already floating in that direction. Or for the office grouch to consider that perhaps he's been too soft on his co-workers and their faults in the past year and to remedy this.

Lastly, a goal should be measurable. Vague resolutions won't cut it. "I'm going to be a better person." Now, of course, this is nifty idea, but it needs to be quantified and scored. Think of it as a contest. Better: "When driving and I happen upon a less than skilled motorist, I'll refrain from questioning the honor of his mother or the legitimacy of his birth." The success and failure can be tracked on a weekly or even daily basis.

What about "I want to stop eating so much"? For the horizontally challenged, this would be a healthy resolution, but again still too vague. Better: "I'll stop treating Cheez Whiz as a beverage." The intake of processed cheese in a semi-liquid state can be monitored.

Here, then, gentle reader, are my two achievable, significant, and measurable resolutions. I hereby resolve to: 1) remain the good-natured, helpful, handsome, and modest guy that I am; and 2) never show this column to my wife.

Happy New Year!

Ellie

[thedrifter]

The Meaning of New Year's Resolutions

by Alex Epstein
Posted Dec 29, 2006

Every New Year’s Eve millions of Americans make New Year’s resolutions. Whether the resolution is to get out of debt, to spend more time with loved ones, or to quit smoking, these resolutions have one thing in common: they are goals to make our lives better.

Unfortunately, this ritual commitment to self-improvement is widely viewed as something of a joke—in part because New Year’s resolutions go so notoriously unmet. After years of watching others—or themselves—excitedly commit to a new goal, only to abandon the quest by March, many come to conclude that New Year’s resolutions are an exercise in futility that should not be taken seriously. “The silly season is upon us,” writes a columnist for the Washington Post, “when people feel compelled to remake themselves with New Year’s resolutions.”

But such a cynical attitude is false and self-destructive. Making New Year’s resolutions does not have to be futile—and to make them is not silly; done seriously, it is an act of profound moral significance that embodies the essence of a life well-lived.

Consider what we do when we make a New Year’s resolution: we look at where we are in some area of life, think about where we want to be, and then set ourselves a goal to get there. We are tired of feeling chubby and lethargic, say, and want the improved appearance and greater energy level that comes with greater fitness. So we resolve to take up a fun athletic activity—like tennis or a martial art—and plan to do it three times a week.

Is this a laughable act of self-delusion? Hardly. If it were, then how would anyone ever achieve anything in life? In fact, to make a New Year’s resolution is to recognize the undeniable reality that successful goal-pursuit is possible—the reality that everyone at one time or another has set and achieved long-range goals, and profited from doing so. Indeed, not only is it possible to achieve long-range goals, it is necessary for success in life. To make a New Year’s resolution is also to recognize the undeniable reality that rewarding careers and romances do not just happen automatically—that to get what we want in our lives, we must consciously choose and achieve the right goals. We must be goal-directed.

Unfortunately, a goal-directed orientation is missing to a large extent in too many lives. It is all too easy to live life passively, acting without carefully deciding what one is doing with one’s life and why. How many people do you know who are in the career they fell into out of school, even if it is not very satisfying—or who have children at a certain age because that’s what is expected, even if it’s not what they really want—or who spend endless hours of “free time” in front of the TV, since that’s the most readily available form of relaxation—or who follow a life routine that they never really chose and don’t truly enjoy, but which has the force of habit?

Too often, the goal-directedness embodied by New Year’s resolutions is the exception in lives ruled by passively accepted forces—unexamined routine, short-range desires, or alleged duties. It is the passive approach to happiness that makes so many resolutions peter out, lost in the shuffle of life or abandoned due to lost motivation. More broadly than its impact on New Year’s resolutions, the passive approach to happiness is the reason that so many go through life without ever getting—or even knowing—what they really want.

It is a sad irony that those who write off New Year’s resolutions because so many fail reinforces the passive approach to life that causes so many resolutions—and so many other dreams—to fail. The solution to failed New Year’s resolutions is not to abandon the practice, but to supplement it with a broader resolution—a commitment to a goal-directed life.

This New Year’s, resolve to think about how to make your life better, not just once a year, but every day. Resolve to set goals, not just in one or two aspects of life, but in every important aspect and in your life as a whole. Resolve to pursue the goals that will make you successful and happy, not as the exception in a life of passivity, but as the rule that becomes second-nature.

If you do this, you will be resolving to do the most important thing of all: to take your happiness seriously.

Ellie