The fear of my own fear..

[The1stSgt]

I spent twenty years in the Corps, with the last two and a half (81-83) as an infantry rifle company (I Co, 3/1, 1stMarDiv) 1stSgt.

I was in Viet Nam following Tet in '68 and on into '69 as an aircraft mechanic (F4-B Phantom II). I was on perimeter guard occasionally, but never fired a shot in anger.

This is my fear..... the fear of not performing like a Marine, with courage and valor, if engaged in armed personal combat.

I've never experienced the infamous "baptism of fire", so I've never been tested. This fear of the unknown, is that common?

The thought of me not performing as a Marine would be very disgraceful.

I'm sixty years old now and I'll never serve as an active duty Marine again (unless WW III starts), but this unknown still unsettles me somewhat.

So, what'd ya think?

[PhrogmechHMX1]

1stsgt, i believe fear of the unknown is common. No one can honestly say what they will do in a combat situation because every situation is not the same. On the other hand every Marine should be able to say that they will act with honor courage and commitment to the corps in any combat situation. I believe there is nothing wrong with fear, it just means your human.

[jinelson]

[QUOTE][PhorogmechHMX1 - 1stsgt, i believe fear of the unknown is common. No one can honestly say what they will do in a combat situation because every situation is not the same. On the other hand every Marine should be able to say that they will act with honor courage and commitment to the corps in any combat situation. I believe there is nothing wrong with fear, it just means your human.
__________________
you call, we haul /QUOTE]

OORAH!!! Phrogmech and if we can't truck it ....well you know.

Jim

[1stSgtMell]

1stSgt,
I don't think you'd made it past the 3rd week of Boot Camp if you weren't "Tested". You don't have to hang your head for anyone just because you were keeping the aircraft running to be able to drop their bombs on "Charlie" that was trying to kill me. For every Grunt, there has to be 8 other Marines of various MOS's to keep him in the fight. You've been tested!!!!!!
Semper Fi,
Jerry Mell
1stSgt(Ret)USMC
L-3-4 Co Gunny '68-'69
'54-'73

[Zulu 36]

Well, 1stSgt, I've never had to fire a shot in combat either. However, I was shot at a lot, mortared, rocketed, and generally annoyed by Charlie. One doesn't have to shoot back to know if you will shoot when necessary. I did my duty under fire and knew I could shoot if I had to.

My duty never allowed me to personally do any shooting, but I did order my A-driver to do some as cover fire. And he did without hesitation.

As a police officer, I never had to fire a shot. Yet, I still know I could have. If you can't look in a mirror and say "I know I could do it if necessary," then police or military work isn't your proper line of work.

I drove scout cars, was a detective, worked narcotics, did SWAT stuff, taught firearms, defensive tactics, and patrol tactics. I was a boss in patrol, narcotics, detectives, and SWAT and eventually deputy chief. I crashed a lot of dope house doors (and a couple of police cars), chased armed robbers on foot, caught a rapist in the act, and nearly shot a 15-year old burglar who was dumber than a box of rocks.

I even fought a huge Samoan ex-NFL lineman and won because I was meaner than he was, certainly not bigger, by literally grabbing him by the balls and trying my darndest to rip them off. He chose to surrender instead of being a eunuch. I had bruises ALL over my body after that one, but I was the winner because I would do what was necessary.

I've used every kind of force against people that a cop can use, except shooting a gun. I've punched, slapped, kicked, clubbed, choked, rammed a motorcycle with a scout car and even made an armed robber literally crap his pants when he thought I was going to kill him (don't know how he got that idea, must have been the 12-gauge in his ear). But I knew in my heart of hearts I could pull that trigger if it became lawfully necessary.

You would have done your duty too, and would still do it if necessary to protect you and yours. No worries, mate.

[FistFu68]

:evilgrin:IF ANY COMBAT VETERAN EVER TELL'S YOU,1ST,/SGT;THAT WHEN THE CHIT HIT THE FAN.THAT HE WASN'T SCARED,HE'S A LIAR!NO DOUBT IN MY MIND,THAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE WHATEVER IT TOOK TOO;KEEP YOU'R AZZ ALIVE!AND THAT OF YOU'R FELLOW MARINE'S.IT'S SURVIVAL INSTINCT;WE ALL HAVE IT IN US!IT'S KILL OR BE KILLED,NO HERO CHIT;JUST PLAIN OLD~DOING WHATEVER IT TAKE'S TOO SAVE OUR BACON!NATURAL AS LEAVE'S FALLING OFF A TREE!:iwo:

[Sgt Leprechaun]

1stSgt, I've never 'seen the elephant' as a Marine, either, but have as a Police Officer. My stories are very similiar to Zulu36, excepting I have pulled the trigger on 'my fellow man'. However, that 'fellow man' had already killed a friend of mine, and had tried to kill me. I was all of 23 years old, still a rookie full of **iss and vinegear, but I did what I had to do, and the bad guy hopefully had an express bus to hell.

Since then, I've been in a lot stickier and hairier 'furballs', no *hit hand to hand combat, with bad guys...and I can tell you, I've been scared to death each and every single damn time. Esp when you are dealing with people whacked out on PCP, who are exactly like the terminator..they do not stop no matter what you do...

Thanks for YOUR service. I still feel like a damn slacker because I haven't seen the elephant as a Marine, myself, 1stSgt..so I know where you are coming from LOL.

Take care, & S/F

[TazMatt]

1ST/Sgt I too have never had the chance to experience combat and have felt like I was missing something but I feel that The Good Lord blessed me and kept me in his loving arms and didn't let me go.I'm sure you were like me in that if you were ordered to go in to combat you would have done so,but as was said earlier you did your job in support of the combat troops as I did working in supply for all is nessecary to do the total job.So don't feel bad but feel blessed instead. Semper Fi Sgt.H.G.Mathis 1969-1975:usmc:

[The1stSgt]

Thanks Marines for your feedback.

Semper Fi