thedrifter
12-23-06, 07:11 AM
Families face holidays miles apart
Marine wives learn to deal with husbands' multiple deployments
Published Saturday December 23 2006
By LORI YOUNT
The Beaufort Gazette
This year Tywila Walker and her two girls took the annual studio Christmas photo without her husband, Cpl. Robert Walker, who will spend his holiday stationed in al-Asad, Iraq.
The thought of sending out holiday photos showing the girls in wide smiles and pigtails, but with the absence of the man in their lives painfully obvious, seems heart-wrenching, but Tywila Walker said it was just another day in dealing with her husband's third deployment to Iraq since 2003.
"A lot of people haven't had to deal," she said, adding that with a father who's still in the Army, she grew up a military brat. "People say, 'You took Christmas pictures without your husband!' But if I stopped everything, it'd make it worse for the kids. They need some normalcy."
The "roller coaster" of deployment has become normal for daughters, Kris, 6, and Kamya, 2, Tywila Walker said.
And they're not alone with about 1,400 Marines and sailors from Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort deployed this holseason multiple deployments are becoming more and more frequent as the Iraq war drags on.
"Whether it's the holidays or not, it's hard," Tywila Walker said.
Tywila and Robert Walker were dating long-distance when he was first deployed in February 2003 during the beginning of the Iraq war, and they were married in August 2003 after he returned. The Marine radio operator was home about a year, just long enough to settle into married life, and he was back to Iraq again from May to October 2005 with a grunt unit based in Camp Lejeune, N.C.
"I thought I was a pro, but once you get used to a person being here, it's hard to go back to being a single parent," she said.
Shortly after Robert Walker returned, the family moved with him to Beaufort in January, where he joined Marine Wing Support Squadron 273 at the air station, which deployed to al-Asad in September.
This is his first Christmastime deployment, and she and the girls will be spending Christmas in Beaufort, possibly with a trip to eat at Golden Corral to escape their home on Shanklin Road.
But the second deployment was the hardest, Tywila Walker said.
"He missed everybody's birthday and our anniversary," including Kamya's first birthday, she said. "That's more important to me than Christmas."
She tried decorating a little this year, though. She assembled an artificial Christmas tree, complete with ornaments of "Sweat Hogs," his unit's mascot, and fake snow. It took her about a week.
Things take longer as a single parent, she said, as she pointed out some of last week's laundry that remained unfolded on top of the dryer.
Tywila Walker didn't venture to string Christmas lights high on the wall without her husband's help this year.
Alison Lawracy wasn't even going to put up a Christmas tree until her husband, Sgt. James P. Lawracy II, or "Pat," called her a "scrooge" in a long-distance conversation from al-Asad. He is also a "Sweat Hog."
"At first, I wasn't in the holiday spirit. I felt bad decorating without him," Alison Lawracy said. "But then he asked me for a picture of the tree."
After all, he sent her a photo of his decorated tree in Iraq. His parents sent him an artificial tree and later ornaments collected from his hometown of Columbia, where Alison Lawracy plans to spend Christmas with her in-laws.
The supply chief is also in his third deployment to Iraq, but this is his first holiday season away from home.
"I'm sure he's sad to miss out," Alison Lawracy said. "I think that tree really helped."
This deployment is a little different because they were dating long-distance during the first two deployments, but before this one, they'd lived together for about a year and married in May.
"I feel more attached, so it is harder to say goodbye," she said of parting with her husband on Labor Day. "But it's easier because I do know what to expect."
And that's to keep busy, both Tywila Walker and Alison Lawracy said.
Lawracy works as a clinical dietitian at Beaufort Memorial Hospital and has dinner parties with her friends and wives of other Marines in her husband's unit.
Walker said this time she made sure to have a job and now works part-time at Cato fashions, and she takes her daughters to the drive-in movie theater and any free festival event on base or in Beaufort for some social time for everyone. During her husband's second deployment, she said she hardly knew anyone and felt isolated in North Carolina, making her an emotional wreck, but by participating in events with other military wives, she's found friends, including one woman whose husband is deployed to Iraq for the first time.
"It's so much easier when you know one person," she said.
Her friend is taking the holidays without her husband harder, and Tywila Walker said she tries to give advice.
"But I don't know how I'm going to be on Christmas Day," she admitted. "My friend is not so good, especially if anything goes wrong, but this is her first deployment."
Mostly, the women said they're just looking forward to their husbands coming home in early spring, but they know it's a distinct possibility they'll face another deployment soon and try not to think about the uncertainty surrounding the future of the war.
"There's no guarantee," Tywila Walker said, whose husband re-enlisted in October for another four years in the Corps. "I can't think about that. I deal with my individual situation. I don't watch the news. I learned that in my first deployment."
Alison Lawracy is almost resigned to the fact her husband will deploy again.
"I would hope not, but I think it will probably happen," said Alison Lawracy, whose husband has served in the Corps for more than seven years and must decide whether to re-enlist in the coming months. "There are no guarantees. ... If he chooses to stay, I would support that."
With better infrastructure that supports more reliable communication at bases and her husband not in a ground combat unit anymore, Tywila Walker said deployments have become a little less nerve-racking.
"I'm not as worried he's in Iraq," she said. "I'm worried, but I'm not frantic. It's better than last year. ... I think I'm kind of numb."
Ellie
Marine wives learn to deal with husbands' multiple deployments
Published Saturday December 23 2006
By LORI YOUNT
The Beaufort Gazette
This year Tywila Walker and her two girls took the annual studio Christmas photo without her husband, Cpl. Robert Walker, who will spend his holiday stationed in al-Asad, Iraq.
The thought of sending out holiday photos showing the girls in wide smiles and pigtails, but with the absence of the man in their lives painfully obvious, seems heart-wrenching, but Tywila Walker said it was just another day in dealing with her husband's third deployment to Iraq since 2003.
"A lot of people haven't had to deal," she said, adding that with a father who's still in the Army, she grew up a military brat. "People say, 'You took Christmas pictures without your husband!' But if I stopped everything, it'd make it worse for the kids. They need some normalcy."
The "roller coaster" of deployment has become normal for daughters, Kris, 6, and Kamya, 2, Tywila Walker said.
And they're not alone with about 1,400 Marines and sailors from Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort deployed this holseason multiple deployments are becoming more and more frequent as the Iraq war drags on.
"Whether it's the holidays or not, it's hard," Tywila Walker said.
Tywila and Robert Walker were dating long-distance when he was first deployed in February 2003 during the beginning of the Iraq war, and they were married in August 2003 after he returned. The Marine radio operator was home about a year, just long enough to settle into married life, and he was back to Iraq again from May to October 2005 with a grunt unit based in Camp Lejeune, N.C.
"I thought I was a pro, but once you get used to a person being here, it's hard to go back to being a single parent," she said.
Shortly after Robert Walker returned, the family moved with him to Beaufort in January, where he joined Marine Wing Support Squadron 273 at the air station, which deployed to al-Asad in September.
This is his first Christmastime deployment, and she and the girls will be spending Christmas in Beaufort, possibly with a trip to eat at Golden Corral to escape their home on Shanklin Road.
But the second deployment was the hardest, Tywila Walker said.
"He missed everybody's birthday and our anniversary," including Kamya's first birthday, she said. "That's more important to me than Christmas."
She tried decorating a little this year, though. She assembled an artificial Christmas tree, complete with ornaments of "Sweat Hogs," his unit's mascot, and fake snow. It took her about a week.
Things take longer as a single parent, she said, as she pointed out some of last week's laundry that remained unfolded on top of the dryer.
Tywila Walker didn't venture to string Christmas lights high on the wall without her husband's help this year.
Alison Lawracy wasn't even going to put up a Christmas tree until her husband, Sgt. James P. Lawracy II, or "Pat," called her a "scrooge" in a long-distance conversation from al-Asad. He is also a "Sweat Hog."
"At first, I wasn't in the holiday spirit. I felt bad decorating without him," Alison Lawracy said. "But then he asked me for a picture of the tree."
After all, he sent her a photo of his decorated tree in Iraq. His parents sent him an artificial tree and later ornaments collected from his hometown of Columbia, where Alison Lawracy plans to spend Christmas with her in-laws.
The supply chief is also in his third deployment to Iraq, but this is his first holiday season away from home.
"I'm sure he's sad to miss out," Alison Lawracy said. "I think that tree really helped."
This deployment is a little different because they were dating long-distance during the first two deployments, but before this one, they'd lived together for about a year and married in May.
"I feel more attached, so it is harder to say goodbye," she said of parting with her husband on Labor Day. "But it's easier because I do know what to expect."
And that's to keep busy, both Tywila Walker and Alison Lawracy said.
Lawracy works as a clinical dietitian at Beaufort Memorial Hospital and has dinner parties with her friends and wives of other Marines in her husband's unit.
Walker said this time she made sure to have a job and now works part-time at Cato fashions, and she takes her daughters to the drive-in movie theater and any free festival event on base or in Beaufort for some social time for everyone. During her husband's second deployment, she said she hardly knew anyone and felt isolated in North Carolina, making her an emotional wreck, but by participating in events with other military wives, she's found friends, including one woman whose husband is deployed to Iraq for the first time.
"It's so much easier when you know one person," she said.
Her friend is taking the holidays without her husband harder, and Tywila Walker said she tries to give advice.
"But I don't know how I'm going to be on Christmas Day," she admitted. "My friend is not so good, especially if anything goes wrong, but this is her first deployment."
Mostly, the women said they're just looking forward to their husbands coming home in early spring, but they know it's a distinct possibility they'll face another deployment soon and try not to think about the uncertainty surrounding the future of the war.
"There's no guarantee," Tywila Walker said, whose husband re-enlisted in October for another four years in the Corps. "I can't think about that. I deal with my individual situation. I don't watch the news. I learned that in my first deployment."
Alison Lawracy is almost resigned to the fact her husband will deploy again.
"I would hope not, but I think it will probably happen," said Alison Lawracy, whose husband has served in the Corps for more than seven years and must decide whether to re-enlist in the coming months. "There are no guarantees. ... If he chooses to stay, I would support that."
With better infrastructure that supports more reliable communication at bases and her husband not in a ground combat unit anymore, Tywila Walker said deployments have become a little less nerve-racking.
"I'm not as worried he's in Iraq," she said. "I'm worried, but I'm not frantic. It's better than last year. ... I think I'm kind of numb."
Ellie