need advice from a marine

[mstrelectrician]

my uncle was a master sgt. in the corps, he was killed in iraq. this man was my role model he always led me in the right direction. sometimes he put his foot in my azz when i disagreed with him. But now since he's gone i have felt compelled to enlist. what's holding me back is my 13 month old son, my wife completley understands why i want to go. I just want to be there for my son, because my father was never there for me. If i enlist will i have ample time to raise my son and spend time with him? I know many marines have kids, but a new marine has a lot of training to complete? right, not much time for family? any and all advise is greatly appreciated. Where will my wife and son be for boot camp and mos training and any other long term training? how friendly is the corps to young families?will i live in barracks or off base?

[yellowwing]

Be a outstanding dad first and foremost. If the calling of our Corps is strong enough, we will be here in the future.

[mstrelectrician]

i feel like i should enlist soon though, just because i'm 25

[capmarine]

enlisting in the Corps is something you need to do for yourself,do you really want it?yes,depending on you MOS,your training and deployments could be long.does your family support you? never had a family in the Corps.the services seem to really be supporting the married families.a lot of guys on here know a lot more than me-my .02

[greensideout]

Who comes first in your life? YOU, to advenge or YOU, as a father of your 13 month child? You have to decide who YOU want to be. You are the only one that can make that choice.

Family life and the Marine Corps in a time of war may not be what you wish. You will have long times of separations from your family.

"Avenge" as I have put it will not really happen. You will be serving with a unit with a specific mission. That's what you will do. Nothing more and nothing less.

Weigh out the "value" of life for your family and consider if it is worth giving up for a utopian idea.

[sgt tony]

It is not a easy life in the Marines. Yes you will be sent to schools and it depends on how long you will be there if it worth have the family come along. Once you get out of school and are assigned to you unit then the life gets a bit easier but it is still hard. I got married while I was in and had 2 sons. They will tell you if you asked about life as a family member that it was hard at times.
If you decide to come and be a Marine you will know that the family will be there and when you are out on assigments that they will be there in your mind. You learn to make the best of the time you have with your family.

[Eagle57]

First of all , YOUR UNCLE GAVE IT ALL, and Sacrificed for your WHOLE FAMILY. That includes You and Your Son.

Listen to ALL others here . Yellowing states it BEST.

A bit of Guilt and or feeling of emptiness is what has your Emotions NOW, understandably.

Never act on EMOTIONS.

Wait, YOU Son Have NOTHING TO PROVE , but to be the BEST DAD, YOUR BOY could ask for.

"YOUR UNCLE WOULD HAVE WANTED IT THAT WAY". Think About it.

Raise your BOY, "For He Needs His Dad', more that The US Needs you in "Iraq". You Honorable intentions are ENOUGH.

Take Care,
May God Bless YOU, Your Son, and Family,
and ,
Semper-Fi to your Uncle - "A JOB WELL DONE"
God's Speed To Him

[SSGT DILL]

<TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"><TBODY><TR height="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on" width="100%"><TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off">YOUR UNCLE GAVE HIS OWN LIFE SO THAT YOU COULD BE THERE FOR YOUR FAMILY. IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO JOIN MAKE SURE YOU PICK A MOS THAT YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY SUPPORTS YOU IN.

SEMPER FI!!
ALWAYS FAITHFUL!!!!!
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[JoeSzynal]

I enlisted at 28. You've got more time to think.

[roderickyseaton]

Sir, it is best for single men to enlist. Every man is a riflemen. Young men who have no romantic obligations best their platoon as their main family. How are you going to bayonet charge knowing you...

[Marine84]

Amen ya'll...............yeah, be a Dad first - you won't be able to keep your mind on your mission. Your heart will be broken every time you two have to seperate for a while (because of deployment) and that affects you too.

[BR34]

I have a four year old son and will be married on the 22nd. I will be in boot camp on the 27th!

My wife supports me 100%.

My son on the other hand tells me (when I explain to him that I will be leaving) that he doesn't want me to go to boot camp. He tells me it's because I'm not going to come back. I don't know what stupid ****er put that **** in his head but it hurts to hear him say it. I promised him though that I will be back after boot camp.

He knows how much I love the Marine Corps. He's been to the office with me, and even came to a pool function once...sat on the ground Indian style with the rest of us and remained quiet througout the whole thing. He has a make believe "red" house with Marine hummers, Marine GTOs, Marine Corvettes, Marine clothes, Marine keyboards...lol...he's always telling me that he bought me a Marine "something" but I can't see it cause it's at his red house...which is very far away. (I tend to rant when talking about my pride and joy, sorry)

Anyway, I think you should explain to your son what it means to you and how bad you want it. 13 months may be a bit premature for this but if you decide to wait a bit I think it's very important for your son to know exactly what's going to happen.

I recently decided to ship 3 weeks early so that hopefully I'll be able to spend my son's birthday with him.


will i live in barracks or off base?

My understanding is that married recruits recieve BAH and possibly BAS while in boot camp to help with bills back home. Once out of MOS training and at your perm. duty station, I've been told that married Marines get to live off base with their family. Of course, I'm not a Marine so you might want to verify this with a recruiter or a Marine that was married while in recruit training.
Good luck, and sorry for writing so much!

[roderickyseaton]

I have a four year old son and will be married on the 22nd. I will be in boot camp on the 27th!

My wife supports me 100%.

My son on the other hand tells me (when I explain to him that I will be leaving) that he doesn't want me to go to boot camp. He tells me it's because I'm not going to come back. I don't know what stupid ****er put that **** in his head but it hurts to hear him say it. I promised him though that I will be back after boot camp.

He knows how much I love the Marine Corps. He's been to the office with me, and even came to a pool function once...sat on the ground Indian style with the rest of us and remained quiet througout the whole thing. He has a make believe "red" house with Marine hummers, Marine GTOs, Marine Corvettes, Marine clothes, Marine keyboards...lol...he's always telling me that he bought me a Marine "something" but I can't see it cause it's at his red house...which is very far away. (I tend to rant when talking about my pride and joy, sorry)

Anyway, I think you should explain to your son what it means to you and how bad you want it. 13 months may be a bit premature for this but if you decide to wait a bit I think it's very important for your son to know exactly what's going to happen.

I recently decided to ship 3 weeks early so that hopefully I'll be able to spend my son's birthday with him.



My understanding is that married recruits recieve BAH and possibly BAS while in boot camp to help with bills back home. Once out of MOS training and at your perm. duty station, I've been told that married Marines get to live off base with their family. Of course, I'm not a Marine so you might want to verify this with a recruiter or a Marine that was married while in recruit training.

Good luck, and sorry for writing so much!

BR03Hopeful, I thank you for your willingness to serve, but how are you going to give your heart fully to the man on your left and the man on your right when you are faced in a combat zone? I also don't want a marine to sacrifice their life to save my single ass knowing that he left wife and children behind who are not going to have his love. How about you, would you want someone to cover you and give you their life knowing that they left behind their wife and children? How is this going to make a combat platoon where each other in the platoon becomes the most important people in the world? I want you to take your Semper Fi to your 4 year old son, and your wife. That should be your family. Our reason to take combat arms is so that families like you can be free to be there for your children. You serve our nation best by being a father. Single men have a better reason to die for being able to be full hearted in the platoon. Having a half hearted marine in combat is more dangerous and unserving to the man to your left and your right, to whom you can give up your life to because your kid had to come first. To this effect, you do a disservice by joining the marine as a father with a child.

Please sir, give single men a reason to care for the man to their left and to the man to their right as the most important people when engaging in a firefight. A well co-ordinated platoon however small is more efficient to a companies of half hearted people who couldn't put themselves in line more than the minimum required because they had to think of saving their lives for their families.

I also am not saying this to degrade you in any way, nor to hurt your pride. Your dream of service is best realized by Semper Fi to your wife and kids, who are the "Few and the Proud" people in your life. You are more fortunate than I who have the privilege to find a bride and have a beautiful child that needs you more than anything in the world. No badge, even the medal of honour sir, will not replace a father for your child, nor a bride.

You are no coward to turn back and decide that being a father is the most important thing in the world. America has too many parents who were not there to give them TLC. You serve best by being a full time father. I would give up every medal, every stripe just to have the chance to have the honor of having a beautiful wife and child to come home to so that I could be there for them 100% of the time. Ask anyone who has seen combat. I am sure most will agree with me 100%

[Soon2BeVIP]

I'd have to agree with roderickyseaton on this one. Though being a US Marine is one of the greatest things you can do in this life, once you bring a child into this life, you better be there for that child. Both of your kids our young. For the 13 month old...these next few years are going to be their firsts for talking, walking, etc and for the 4 year old what about their first day to school. I know serving your country is an honorable reason to be away, but your kid is too young to understand that and all kids react differently to certain situations. But why take the chance of not having them in the most ideal situation. I can't see myself leaving my son or daughter if I had one. Of course it's a confusing situation.

[Worsham]

My reasons for wanting to join were different from yours, but I have a husband and children. None of us here can tell you which route to take we can only offer opinions. You know in your heart of hearts which road is meant for you. Only you and your family (wife and son) have to live with that. In my personal experience, having the support of my husband and daughters was all the affirmation I needed. The time apart will be hard on everyone, so be prepared for that. I have been home for 11 days now...the longest I've been home for in the last 6 months, but I am fulfilled in being wife, mother and Marine. There were those who believed that I, having two children ages 7 and 3 and a husband, should have been happy just to dream. To those people, I say that I am now living my dream and no one could be prouder of me than those who have the most to lose and the only opinions that matter.

[Worsham]

My reasons for wanting to join were different from yours, but I have a husband and children. None of us here can tell you which route to take we can only offer opinions. You know in your heart of hearts which road is meant for you. Only you and your family (wife and son) have to live with that. In my personal experience, having the support of my husband and daughters was all the affirmation I needed. The time apart will be hard on everyone, so be prepared for that. I have been home for 11 days now...the longest I've been home for in the last 6 months, but I am fulfilled in being wife, mother and Marine. There were those who believed that I, having two children ages 7 and 3 and a husband, should have been happy just to dream. To those people, I say that I am now living my dream and no one could be prouder of me than those who have the most to lose and the only opinions that matter.

[konman1]

There is an old Marine Corps saying, and the other Marines can back this up, its simple... IF THE CORPS WANTED YOU TO HAVE A WIFE (FAMILY), THEY WOULD HAVE ISSUED YOU ONE. Also keep on thing in mind, #1. Mission accomplishment, #2. Troop welfare. Take care of your family

[Worsham]

The same could be said for opinions, but we all seem to have them and are entitled to do so.

[mstrelectrician]

I just want to tell all the marine's thank you for the great advise
you have posted and emailed me. The marine corps has some of america's finest, most professinal men and women. My wife says she'll support my decision whatever I may choose. So I'm thinking about contacting a recruiter just to see what he says.

[Eagle57]

RODERICK and YELLOWWING;
These are the ONLY TWO MARINES here that make a Damn bit of SENCE.

Maybe....just.....MAYBE.....BECAUSE THEY, Like Myself, have WISDOM, and are REALISTIC.

But...as my Grandfather said ..."YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER...BUT YOU CANNOT MAKE HIM DRINK".

Hey KID.....YOU CAME ON THIS SITE TO ASK FOR ADVICE....

After SOME PRETTY GOOD DAMN PROFESSIONAL ADVICE....YOU state.....

"I AM GOING TO TALK TO MY RECRUITER".

Well.....GOOD LUCK, YOUR NO MATCH FOR HIM son, HE IS A NESSESSARY SALESMAN.

GOOD LUCK, and May God Be With You.
For as I SEE IT....YOU HAVE LEARNED NOTHING HERE.

(A Psychologist would be a better option than a Recruiter, for advice)

[jryanjack]

Some great advice here - let me add some personal experience. When I was 5 months old, my father enlisted in the Marines - and then volunteered for duty in Vietnam. Needless to say I did not see much of my father during that time, however, one thing that he always remembered was that his son knew who he was when he got off the freedom bird bringing him home. I do not feel as though I missed out on anything by my father not being home during my formative years, if anything it was the opposite, I learned from him the importance of standing up and serving your country, and obviously, I chose the same path.

While my experience may be unique, it does show that it can be done, however, as others have said - if this is the path that you choose then you need to do it for you, not for anyone else and certainly not to avenge your uncle.

[Old Marine]

My wife spent almost 20 years in the Marine Corps supporting what I was doing at that particular time. My three children were born while I was in the Corps and yes there were some rough times and lots of good times. If you decide to join remember to the leave the Corps at the base when you go home and become hard as nails when you return to base. The Marine Corps was good to me and my family.

[Camper51]

RODERICK and YELLOWWING;
These are the ONLY TWO MARINES here that make a Damn bit of SENCE.

Maybe....just.....MAYBE.....BECAUSE THEY, Like Myself, have WISDOM, and are REALISTIC.

But...as my Grandfather said ..."YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER...BUT YOU CANNOT MAKE HIM DRINK".

Hey KID.....YOU CAME ON THIS SITE TO ASK FOR ADVICE....

After SOME PRETTY GOOD DAMN PROFESSIONAL ADVICE....YOU state.....

"I AM GOING TO TALK TO MY RECRUITER".

Well.....GOOD LUCK, YOUR NO MATCH FOR HIM son, HE IS A NESSESSARY SALESMAN.

GOOD LUCK, and May God Be With You.
For as I SEE IT....YOU HAVE LEARNED NOTHING HERE.

(A Psychologist would be a better option than a Recruiter, for advice)

I disagree, I believe he has learned a lot in here. Who are WE to choose the path he must follow. Yes, we know how difficult it is to be young and try to raise a family when just starting out in the Corps. Hell, it's hard enough as a Sgt or above to raise a family, however it can be done, has been done, and will be done in the future.

The important thing to be realized in joining the Corps is that you will NOT be with your family for 3 months to start your career, then you will immediately be sent off to school for additional training and you cannot bring your family there either, unless it is on YOUR dime. When you finally reach the fleet, or wherever your first duty station will be, you will finally be able to bring your family, however you will have to wait for housing, which is always in short supply. That means more waiting, possibly without your family.

Are these things sacrifices you are willing to make in just your FIRST year in service.

Those sacrifices do NOT include the very real possibibility of being sent to a combat zone, again no family, or to a duty station that is unaccompanied, again no family.

Bottom line is that if you are willing to make these sacrifices, and they are very real, ask any Marine, then you should go ahead and join the Corps. However if you are not willing to be away from your family for the better part of your first year in the Corps, then do NOT join.

Being in the Marine Corps is a sacrifice. People say don't do it if you are married with children. They are right, it is very difficult and they probably speak from some kind of experience that was acquired first hand, either by personal experience, or by intimate knowledge of people who served with them who went through just what you are planning.

I won't recommend you do one or the other, but you need to know that you will NOT be in a 9 to 5 job, and you will not have an easy time of it.

Make an informed, truly informed choice, but above all make the choice that is right for YOU...

[mstrelectrician]

I've been driving myself crazy weighing my options. The pro's and con's of joining and etc. I haven't contacted a recruiter, If I call I want to make sure that I'm ready to go. I don't want to join to avenge my uncle's death. So many great americans have died in the war on terror, the question of is this was justified, dosen't bother me. What motivates me is the number of men and women who've died already for, my family. Maybe its time for me to stand up and sacrifice something for my family and all americans. I also don't want to be called a wimp 10 years from now by a war vet, because I didn't have the balls to enlist. I want my kids to have a better adolesence life than I did. More time with a father to hunt,fish and ride dirt bikes with. I also want my kids safe from a freakin rag head who thinks suicide bombings are a heavenly act. This is what motivates me to enlist. How about the reserve's?

[Soon2BeVIP]

Without being as angry...I have to agree with the post above. You come on here for advice and nearly everyone says..be a good dad...and then you say you are going to talk to a recruiter. It's a good thing I did talk to one, but there is no way you can talk to a recruiter and not want to join more than you do now. Way too much moto. The reserves sounds understandable. It would still take time, but not too much away from your child. My opinion...the best Marines live for the Marines and the best dads live for their children.

[Marine84]

Even the reserves wouldn't be a way to go if you don't have this whole thing in perspective - there are a lot of reservists that are active right now so..............

[FistFu68]

:usmc: BEING A GOOD~FATHER,IS AS HONORABLE AS IT GET'S!!! TELL YOU'R SON ABOUT HIS UNCLE~AND SHARE THING'S WITH HIM;ABOUT HOW BRAVE AND HOW GOOD OF A MAN HE WAS!THEN ONE DAY YOU'R SON,WILL COME TOO YOU,AND GUESS WHAT PAPA/I'M GONNA JOIN THE MARINE'S LIKE MY UNCLE!!!IT WILL COME FULL CIRCLE~AS FOR ANY COMBAT VETERAN EVER CALLING YOU A CHICKEN~CHIT~BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T JOIN! KNOCK HIM ON HIS AZZ~IN FRONT OF YOU'R SON!!!:usmc:

[SgtHopperUSMC]

Raise your son.... At least spend the most informative years with him. Who will be the male role model while you are gone? I wish I could've done better.

You have time.