thedrifter
11-04-06, 05:21 AM
November 03, 2006
The Onion pens fake sniper story
By Beth Zimmerman
Staff writer
In a nod to the Corps’ “one shot, one kill” mantra, The Onion penned a piece referencing the Marine sniper’s marksmanship abilities. The satirical news source posted a story headlined, “Former Marine Sniper Slapped With 3,000-Yard Restraining Order,” on Wednesday.
According to editorial coordinator Chet Clem, the staff at “America’s finest news source” decided on the headline first, and then staff writer John Krewson wrote the following fake news brief:
MACON, GA — Citing Emily Holman's right to feel safe traversing vast open spaces, especially when within visual range of clock towers, parking structures, and tall buildings, a judge awarded the 28-year-old a 3,000-yard restraining order yesterday against her former boyfriend, retired Marine sniper Gordon Lee Blackwood. “When we broke up, he started calling me 10 times a day from his job,” said Holman, who realized Blackwood's office building, which had an open, flat roof, was only 1,800 yards away. “He had me flinching every time I saw sunlight glinting off any surface within two-and-a-half miles.” Blackwood would not comment on the judge's decision, saying only that he still loved Holman and was trying to understand the distance and crosswinds that separated them.
The staff decided on a Marine because “if it were an Army sniper, it would have been a 2,000-yard restraining order,” Clem joked.
Clem said Thursday the brief was one of The Onion’s top 10 most-emailed stories.
This is the second time in six months the Onion has referenced snipers. An April 19 photograph was headlined, “Sniper School Gets To Have Class On Roof Today.”
It’s been more than a year, though, since the news source singled out the Corps. Its July 20, 2005, edition included, “Marine Corps Shortens Slogan To ‘The Few’.” It focused on the Corps’ recruiting battle, and it claimed the Corps was changing its motto to “Semper Fidelis, Sic Non Sapienti,” or “Always Faithful, But This Is Just Ridiculous.”
In an interview last July, Krewson told Marine Corps Times that his paper rarely targets the military because the Onion is staffed mostly by “a bunch of people who wouldn’t make it through the second week of basic.”
All jokes aside, Clem said he hopes service members know “we’re totally on their side.”
Ellie
The Onion pens fake sniper story
By Beth Zimmerman
Staff writer
In a nod to the Corps’ “one shot, one kill” mantra, The Onion penned a piece referencing the Marine sniper’s marksmanship abilities. The satirical news source posted a story headlined, “Former Marine Sniper Slapped With 3,000-Yard Restraining Order,” on Wednesday.
According to editorial coordinator Chet Clem, the staff at “America’s finest news source” decided on the headline first, and then staff writer John Krewson wrote the following fake news brief:
MACON, GA — Citing Emily Holman's right to feel safe traversing vast open spaces, especially when within visual range of clock towers, parking structures, and tall buildings, a judge awarded the 28-year-old a 3,000-yard restraining order yesterday against her former boyfriend, retired Marine sniper Gordon Lee Blackwood. “When we broke up, he started calling me 10 times a day from his job,” said Holman, who realized Blackwood's office building, which had an open, flat roof, was only 1,800 yards away. “He had me flinching every time I saw sunlight glinting off any surface within two-and-a-half miles.” Blackwood would not comment on the judge's decision, saying only that he still loved Holman and was trying to understand the distance and crosswinds that separated them.
The staff decided on a Marine because “if it were an Army sniper, it would have been a 2,000-yard restraining order,” Clem joked.
Clem said Thursday the brief was one of The Onion’s top 10 most-emailed stories.
This is the second time in six months the Onion has referenced snipers. An April 19 photograph was headlined, “Sniper School Gets To Have Class On Roof Today.”
It’s been more than a year, though, since the news source singled out the Corps. Its July 20, 2005, edition included, “Marine Corps Shortens Slogan To ‘The Few’.” It focused on the Corps’ recruiting battle, and it claimed the Corps was changing its motto to “Semper Fidelis, Sic Non Sapienti,” or “Always Faithful, But This Is Just Ridiculous.”
In an interview last July, Krewson told Marine Corps Times that his paper rarely targets the military because the Onion is staffed mostly by “a bunch of people who wouldn’t make it through the second week of basic.”
All jokes aside, Clem said he hopes service members know “we’re totally on their side.”
Ellie