thedrifter
09-30-06, 06:51 AM
Family grieves, consoles others after son's death
Posted by the Asbury Park Press on 09/30/06
BY MARGARET F. BONAFIDE
TOMS RIVER BUREAU
DOVER TOWNSHIP — Terri Frassetto remembers the faces of children waving flags, the salutes from older men, the women with hands across their hearts.
They lined the streets in tribute of her son, Marine Pfc. Vincent Frassetto, during his funeral procession.
And now, three weeks after her 21-year-old son was killed by a roadside bomb Sept. 7 in Iraq's Anbar province, Frassetto finds herself comforting others.
The goodness of people — from closest friends to total strangers who touched Terri's life and the lives of her husband, John; their son Marine Sgt. John P. Frassetto; and their daughters, Gina and Alyssa — helped carry her and her family through the most difficult time of their lives.
So many people did so many things that she is left with the task of trying to thank everyone. There aren't enough ways she can do it.
Terri Frassetto purchased a newspaper advertisement making a simple "thank you" statement to everyone — because, although she is trying to personally thank each person, she knows she can't possibly do so.
"I saw every one of those people, even though they did not see me," she said Friday. It was a difficult day, as she worked to cancel her son's credit cards.
New discoveries
Every day brings new discoveries about her son, who was a 2003 graduate of Toms River High School North. On Thursday night, she found letters written by her son to his mother that she had kept from months ago.
The family received a letter in the mail last weekend from "Vinnie" and learned something they did not know about his time in Iraq, said John Frassetto, Vincent's father.
The family had "thought it was his first time out," John Frassetto said, regarding the mission Vincent Frassetto was on when he was killed. He had been there for two weeks, and he was acting as the lead gunner in a convoy. But the family learned by mail that "he had been out once before there."
Sgt. John P. Frassetto, 25, was in Iraq when his younger brother was killed. He was ready to go right back after returning for his brother's funeral. His family had promised to support whatever decision he made.
After speaking with fellow Marines still serving in Iraq and learning he could stay on active duty but serve stateside, Sgt. Frassetto is going to stay in the United States and finish his active duty, which ends in January, Terri Frassetto said.
"He talked to his comrades, and they told him, absolutely, do not come back. He took the advice of everybody," she said, adding that she would not be surprised if her son decided to "re-up."
Many days, Terri Frassetto comforts others about her son's death.
While she canceled her son's credit cards, a young girl at one company told her that her brother was serving in Iraq and started crying. Terri Frassetto tried to comfort her.
When she called concerning the different accounts, the customer-service agents told her they had to speak to the primary account holder.
"I didn't know what to say. I said, "He's in heaven.' "
Grieving openly
Almost every other day, Terri Frassetto goes to St. Joseph's Cemetery on Hooper Avenue to visit with her son.
Alyssa Frassetto, 19, had just started at Rowan University when her brother was killed. She has decided to delay her return until January.
Alyssa and Terri Frassetto were riding on Hooper Avenue recently when they stopped at the cemetery. Terri had been there several times, but always with other people. She never felt it appropriate to grieve openly and wholeheartedly.
But with her daughter, she said, the tears flowed as she knelt at her son's grave where a picture of him marks his place, adjacent to his paternal grandmother.
"I cried — I really cried — and knelt down to kiss the picture on the ground but hit my head on his grandmother's tombstone and really hit it hard," Terri Frassetto said.
"I hit my head so hard it left a bump, and I know that was just Vinnie telling me to knock it off."
But the experience that her family had in saying "farewell for now" was one that will never be forgotten, Terri Frassetto said.
"Toms River really stepped up and showed how proud they are to be an American and a Toms River resident," she said. "I never want to move from Toms River. It is the best place. Boy, did they step up. The show of support was awesome. It was an awesome phenomenon."
Semper Fidelis
Al Roulette, 72, of Beachwood is a member of the Marine Corps League and is one of the thousands of mourners who showed respect for the young Frassetto.
"When a Marine is lost, it is felt by every Marine," Roulette said.
Roulette fights to help fellow veterans who are less fortunate. Semper Fidelis means "ever faithful," and that is what Marines are to one another, Roulette said.
When a fellow Marine is killed, "it is like a piece of you that is taken," Roulette said. "Because it is a brotherhood."
Margaret F. Bonafide: (732) 557-5740 or bonafide@app.com
Ellie
Posted by the Asbury Park Press on 09/30/06
BY MARGARET F. BONAFIDE
TOMS RIVER BUREAU
DOVER TOWNSHIP — Terri Frassetto remembers the faces of children waving flags, the salutes from older men, the women with hands across their hearts.
They lined the streets in tribute of her son, Marine Pfc. Vincent Frassetto, during his funeral procession.
And now, three weeks after her 21-year-old son was killed by a roadside bomb Sept. 7 in Iraq's Anbar province, Frassetto finds herself comforting others.
The goodness of people — from closest friends to total strangers who touched Terri's life and the lives of her husband, John; their son Marine Sgt. John P. Frassetto; and their daughters, Gina and Alyssa — helped carry her and her family through the most difficult time of their lives.
So many people did so many things that she is left with the task of trying to thank everyone. There aren't enough ways she can do it.
Terri Frassetto purchased a newspaper advertisement making a simple "thank you" statement to everyone — because, although she is trying to personally thank each person, she knows she can't possibly do so.
"I saw every one of those people, even though they did not see me," she said Friday. It was a difficult day, as she worked to cancel her son's credit cards.
New discoveries
Every day brings new discoveries about her son, who was a 2003 graduate of Toms River High School North. On Thursday night, she found letters written by her son to his mother that she had kept from months ago.
The family received a letter in the mail last weekend from "Vinnie" and learned something they did not know about his time in Iraq, said John Frassetto, Vincent's father.
The family had "thought it was his first time out," John Frassetto said, regarding the mission Vincent Frassetto was on when he was killed. He had been there for two weeks, and he was acting as the lead gunner in a convoy. But the family learned by mail that "he had been out once before there."
Sgt. John P. Frassetto, 25, was in Iraq when his younger brother was killed. He was ready to go right back after returning for his brother's funeral. His family had promised to support whatever decision he made.
After speaking with fellow Marines still serving in Iraq and learning he could stay on active duty but serve stateside, Sgt. Frassetto is going to stay in the United States and finish his active duty, which ends in January, Terri Frassetto said.
"He talked to his comrades, and they told him, absolutely, do not come back. He took the advice of everybody," she said, adding that she would not be surprised if her son decided to "re-up."
Many days, Terri Frassetto comforts others about her son's death.
While she canceled her son's credit cards, a young girl at one company told her that her brother was serving in Iraq and started crying. Terri Frassetto tried to comfort her.
When she called concerning the different accounts, the customer-service agents told her they had to speak to the primary account holder.
"I didn't know what to say. I said, "He's in heaven.' "
Grieving openly
Almost every other day, Terri Frassetto goes to St. Joseph's Cemetery on Hooper Avenue to visit with her son.
Alyssa Frassetto, 19, had just started at Rowan University when her brother was killed. She has decided to delay her return until January.
Alyssa and Terri Frassetto were riding on Hooper Avenue recently when they stopped at the cemetery. Terri had been there several times, but always with other people. She never felt it appropriate to grieve openly and wholeheartedly.
But with her daughter, she said, the tears flowed as she knelt at her son's grave where a picture of him marks his place, adjacent to his paternal grandmother.
"I cried — I really cried — and knelt down to kiss the picture on the ground but hit my head on his grandmother's tombstone and really hit it hard," Terri Frassetto said.
"I hit my head so hard it left a bump, and I know that was just Vinnie telling me to knock it off."
But the experience that her family had in saying "farewell for now" was one that will never be forgotten, Terri Frassetto said.
"Toms River really stepped up and showed how proud they are to be an American and a Toms River resident," she said. "I never want to move from Toms River. It is the best place. Boy, did they step up. The show of support was awesome. It was an awesome phenomenon."
Semper Fidelis
Al Roulette, 72, of Beachwood is a member of the Marine Corps League and is one of the thousands of mourners who showed respect for the young Frassetto.
"When a Marine is lost, it is felt by every Marine," Roulette said.
Roulette fights to help fellow veterans who are less fortunate. Semper Fidelis means "ever faithful," and that is what Marines are to one another, Roulette said.
When a fellow Marine is killed, "it is like a piece of you that is taken," Roulette said. "Because it is a brotherhood."
Margaret F. Bonafide: (732) 557-5740 or bonafide@app.com
Ellie