View Full Version : You Might be a Tanker If...

01-11-03, 08:23 AM
You Might be a Tanker If...

Your hunting dog obeys the commands "driver stop", "traverse, left/right", "driver move out", and "identified."

You can sleep through a raging thunderstorm, but wake up when your wristwatch alarm goes off.

When playing football, you never throw a pass before checking wind speed and direction, barometric pressure, and the football's temperature.

You let your kids pee off the porch, but ground them when their rooms aren't IAW standard combat load plan.

You're always accusing the wife of turning the volume down on the TV and the telephone.

You shy away from helping your kids with their math because you don't have all your fingers.

You laugh uncontrollably when the infantrymen talk about thrill of firing big bore guns like the .308.

You say "On the way!" as you pass gas.

You don't realize that it's illegal to stick your head out of the sunroof while driving.

You have the high score on TANK BATTLE at every video arcade within a +/- (10) mile radius.

By "Old Kentucky Home", you mean Fort Knox.

"Up" is no longer a direction for you.

You believe a hammer can fix anything.

You stop by every gas station you pass in order to "top-off."

You drive everywhere, including two houses down.

You were doing "drive-by shootings" before they were a fad.

Your children refer to doors as "hatches" and windows as "periscopes."

It takes you a few extra seconds each morning to remember that the throttle for your car is on the floor.

Your idea of a forced march is carrying your gear from the POV parking lot to the tank line.

You go to a fireworks show and feel disappointed that the noise wasn't loud enough.

You think Range Control is nothing more than ALL company tanks on line at one time at 29 stumps!

You think the concept of "dismount" is the eighth deadly sin.

You think diesel and cordite are two of the four basic food groups.

You see a monster truck stuck in the mud and say, "That's nothing, once had my tank buried so bad..."

You've lost headgear due to a large caliber bullet.

Going to the field means bringing the grill and all the fixin's for a barbecue.

You believe that the maker of smoke grenade launchers actually planned it so a six pack of 12oz beers would fit perfectly in each launcher.

You think that light infantry are only curious looking hot spots for machine gun practice at 800m.

You use Chem-Lites to decorate your Christmas tree.

You can make the transition from driving to sleeping with just the flip of a wrist.

You have ever been startled out of sleep and shouted, "Identified!"

The only thing that truly terrifies you is what might be crawling on the ground.

The EPA knows you by your first name.

You think the best way to handle a fuel spill is to kick dust over it and move out before anyone notices.

You think there is no such thing as "Too much ammo."

You think a good OPORD is "Move north and kill everything.

"If you think this way………..You are a TANKER!!!!!! "Mount Up!"

--Author Unknown, but obviously a tanker