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fontman
07-25-06, 03:01 PM
A Universe Between The Ears
By Bob Parks
July 25, 2006

A few nights ago, Puerto Rico's own Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza's began her reign as the new Miss Universe. Sure, the media took notice when she fainted after winning the crown.

But it was what she said prior that caught my attention. According to the Associated Press, "In her pageant biography, Rivera explained what made her different from the other contestants."

"Physically, I have been told by modeling agencies and friends that I represent the consummate Latino look. Everything in my face expresses our heritage, our music and the wonderful mixes of races that we are."

Can any of us truly imagine the screech we'd hear if Miss USA said she was told she had the consummate Caucasian look? What in her face would express her heritage, her music, or the wonderful mix of races here? A collagen lip job…?

"My biggest goal in life is to become a great actress of infinite range. I am a keen observer of the human behavior, which under my interpretation, is one of the best things an actress can do."

Whatever happened to wanting to end poverty, finding a cure for AIDS, seeking world peace, and all the stereotypical banter we've come to expect from this annual cheesecake ceremony? Instead, this babe thinks her tight 18-year-old ass is her stepping stone to fame, fortune, and The Oscars.

She may be right….