helen25
07-18-06, 02:18 PM
about 3 years after my dad passed away i found an old letter he had saved here it is.WORD FOR WORD
(EDITORS NOTE:THE FOLLOWILG LETTER WAS FOUND FLOATING AROUND THE CHU LAI AREA AND IT IS REPRINTED HERE FOR ALL THE 11 MARINE "SHORT TIMERS"
"ISSUED IN SOLEMN WARRNING THIS 7TH DAY OF JAN.AD 1967 TO THE FRIENDS ,NEIBGHBORS AND RELATIVES OF BUNNY. AMERICANIZED,DE-MORALIZED,AND DE-HYDRATED;READY FOR REAJUSTMANT TO HUMANITY WITH FREEDOM AND JUSTICE FOR ALL
1.IN MAKING YOUR SOCIAL PREPRATIONS TO WELCOM HIM BACK IN TO RESPECTABLE SOCIETY, YOU MUST MAKE ALLOWANCES FOR THE CRUDE ENVIROMENT IN WHICH HE HAS SUFFERED FOR THE PAST MONTHS. IN OTHERWORDS, HE MAY MAY BE SOMEWHAT ASIATIC, SUFFERING FROM ADVANCED STAGES OF VIETCONGITIS,FLAKJACKET SLUMP AND SANDBAGS UNDER THE EYES.
2.THEREFOR ,SHOW NO ALARM IF HE PREFRES TO SQUAT RATHER THAN SIT ON A CHAIR,PADSAROUNG THE HOUSE IN THONG SANDLES AND A TOWEL TAKES SHOWERS IN THE NUDE IN HIS FROUNT YARD SHYLY OFFERS TO SELL CIGARETTS TO THE POSTMAN(FOR A PROFIT OF COURSE),SHUNS COCA-COLA OR TIPS THE BOTTLE UP TO SEE IT THE CAP WILL BURN OFF FROM ACID PICKS SUSPICIOUSLY AT THE FOOD AS IF YOU WERE TRYING TO POOISON HIM,INSISTS ON DIPPING HIS PLATE IN BOILING WATER EFOR EATING AND GRIPES BECAUSE THE BUTTER IS HARD INSTEAD OF SOFT AND RUNNY FROM THE HEAT.DONT BE SUPRISED IF HE WONT ANWSER QUISIONS ABOUT VIETNAM AND SHAKES HIS HEAD SAYING "KONG BIEC,KONG BIEC"
BE TOLERENT WITH HIMWHEN HE TRYES TO BUY EVERYTHING AT HALF PRICE,ACCUSES THE GROCER FOR BEING A THIEF AND REFUSES TO ENTER A STRANGERS HOUSE WITH OUT ANKING FOR A GRENADE AND A FIRE TEAM TO COVER HIM. HE MAY COMPLAINABOUT SLEEPING ALONE ON A SOFT MATTRESS BUT IF HE DOES THROW A RAIN COAT IN THE YARD WHERE THE MOSQUITOES ARE THE HEAVIEST AND HELL BE HAPPY
3. ANY OF THE FOLLOWING SIGHTS SHOULD BE AVOIDED SINCE THEY CAN PRODUCE AN ADVANCED STAGE OF SHOCK:PEOPLE DANCING,TV(ESPICIALY BAT MAN NOISES AND WAR MOVIES)LARGE AMOUNTS OF CANDY,REAL HONEST TO GOODNESS ICE CUBES FLOATING IN GLASS AND ESPECIALY AMERICAN WOMAN.IN SHORT TIME HIS PROFANITY WILL DECREASE ENOUGH TO PERMIT HIM TO ASSOCIAT WITH MIXED GROUPS AND SOON HE WILL BE SPEAKING ENGLISH AS WELL AS EVER
4.FOR THE FIRST FEW MONTHS (UNTILL HE IS HOUSEBROKEN)BE EXTREMELY WATCHFULL WHEN HE IS AROUND BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HIS FIRST REACTION UPON MEETING AN ATTRACTIVE GIRL MAY TO BE TO STARE PANT SLOBBER OR FAIN6T, IF YOU LIVE IN A TOPLESSBATHING SUIT AEA,A STEEL LEASH IS SUGGESTED FOR WALKING HIM
5. KEEP IN MIND THAT BENEATH HIS TANNED RUGGED EXTERIOIR THERE BEATS A HEART OF GOLD TREASURE THIS FOR IT IS THE ONLYTHING OF VALUE HE HAS LEFT TREAT HIM WITH KINDNESS TOLERANCE,UNDERSTANDING AND AN OCCASIONAL GALLON OF ICE CREAM. WHEN YOU HERE HIM MUTTERING TO HIM SELF IN THE QUITE OF AN AMERICAN EVENING,RESPECT HIS SOLITUDE,AND HAVE FAITH IN HIS ABILITY TO RETURN TO THE LIVING
(EDITORS NOTE:THE FOLLOWILG LETTER WAS FOUND FLOATING AROUND THE CHU LAI AREA AND IT IS REPRINTED HERE FOR ALL THE 11 MARINE "SHORT TIMERS"
"ISSUED IN SOLEMN WARRNING THIS 7TH DAY OF JAN.AD 1967 TO THE FRIENDS ,NEIBGHBORS AND RELATIVES OF BUNNY. AMERICANIZED,DE-MORALIZED,AND DE-HYDRATED;READY FOR REAJUSTMANT TO HUMANITY WITH FREEDOM AND JUSTICE FOR ALL
1.IN MAKING YOUR SOCIAL PREPRATIONS TO WELCOM HIM BACK IN TO RESPECTABLE SOCIETY, YOU MUST MAKE ALLOWANCES FOR THE CRUDE ENVIROMENT IN WHICH HE HAS SUFFERED FOR THE PAST MONTHS. IN OTHERWORDS, HE MAY MAY BE SOMEWHAT ASIATIC, SUFFERING FROM ADVANCED STAGES OF VIETCONGITIS,FLAKJACKET SLUMP AND SANDBAGS UNDER THE EYES.
2.THEREFOR ,SHOW NO ALARM IF HE PREFRES TO SQUAT RATHER THAN SIT ON A CHAIR,PADSAROUNG THE HOUSE IN THONG SANDLES AND A TOWEL TAKES SHOWERS IN THE NUDE IN HIS FROUNT YARD SHYLY OFFERS TO SELL CIGARETTS TO THE POSTMAN(FOR A PROFIT OF COURSE),SHUNS COCA-COLA OR TIPS THE BOTTLE UP TO SEE IT THE CAP WILL BURN OFF FROM ACID PICKS SUSPICIOUSLY AT THE FOOD AS IF YOU WERE TRYING TO POOISON HIM,INSISTS ON DIPPING HIS PLATE IN BOILING WATER EFOR EATING AND GRIPES BECAUSE THE BUTTER IS HARD INSTEAD OF SOFT AND RUNNY FROM THE HEAT.DONT BE SUPRISED IF HE WONT ANWSER QUISIONS ABOUT VIETNAM AND SHAKES HIS HEAD SAYING "KONG BIEC,KONG BIEC"
BE TOLERENT WITH HIMWHEN HE TRYES TO BUY EVERYTHING AT HALF PRICE,ACCUSES THE GROCER FOR BEING A THIEF AND REFUSES TO ENTER A STRANGERS HOUSE WITH OUT ANKING FOR A GRENADE AND A FIRE TEAM TO COVER HIM. HE MAY COMPLAINABOUT SLEEPING ALONE ON A SOFT MATTRESS BUT IF HE DOES THROW A RAIN COAT IN THE YARD WHERE THE MOSQUITOES ARE THE HEAVIEST AND HELL BE HAPPY
3. ANY OF THE FOLLOWING SIGHTS SHOULD BE AVOIDED SINCE THEY CAN PRODUCE AN ADVANCED STAGE OF SHOCK:PEOPLE DANCING,TV(ESPICIALY BAT MAN NOISES AND WAR MOVIES)LARGE AMOUNTS OF CANDY,REAL HONEST TO GOODNESS ICE CUBES FLOATING IN GLASS AND ESPECIALY AMERICAN WOMAN.IN SHORT TIME HIS PROFANITY WILL DECREASE ENOUGH TO PERMIT HIM TO ASSOCIAT WITH MIXED GROUPS AND SOON HE WILL BE SPEAKING ENGLISH AS WELL AS EVER
4.FOR THE FIRST FEW MONTHS (UNTILL HE IS HOUSEBROKEN)BE EXTREMELY WATCHFULL WHEN HE IS AROUND BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HIS FIRST REACTION UPON MEETING AN ATTRACTIVE GIRL MAY TO BE TO STARE PANT SLOBBER OR FAIN6T, IF YOU LIVE IN A TOPLESSBATHING SUIT AEA,A STEEL LEASH IS SUGGESTED FOR WALKING HIM
5. KEEP IN MIND THAT BENEATH HIS TANNED RUGGED EXTERIOIR THERE BEATS A HEART OF GOLD TREASURE THIS FOR IT IS THE ONLYTHING OF VALUE HE HAS LEFT TREAT HIM WITH KINDNESS TOLERANCE,UNDERSTANDING AND AN OCCASIONAL GALLON OF ICE CREAM. WHEN YOU HERE HIM MUTTERING TO HIM SELF IN THE QUITE OF AN AMERICAN EVENING,RESPECT HIS SOLITUDE,AND HAVE FAITH IN HIS ABILITY TO RETURN TO THE LIVING