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thedrifter
12-26-02, 11:03 AM
Your Family Might Be a Little Too Oorah if...

Your wife's two favorite shades of lipstick are light green and loam.
You go to a barbecue and insist that your family feed tactically.
Your children are required to clear housing before going "TAD-Excess" to college.
You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in your car's floorboard as a part of a tune-up.
Your minivan is equipped with blackout lights.
Your kids call their mother "Household 6."
Your kids use the "F" word at least five times in every sentence.
Your kids volunteer to pull Monitor Duty on the school bus.
Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password.
Your house has firing sector and distance sketches posted by every window.
You give the command "Fix Bayonets" at Thanksgiving Dinner.
Your kids show meal cards at the kitchen door, except the oldest, who is on separate rats.
You make your daughter sign out on a liberty pass on Prom Night.
Your kindergartner calls recess "smoke break."
Your wife "takes a knee" in the checkout line at the Food Lion.
You do your "back to school" shopping at the U.S. Cavalry store.
Your son fails the third grade but tells everyone he was a "Third phase drop."
Your kids salute their grandparents.
Your wife's "high-n-tight" is more squared away than your Commander's.
Your kids get a monthly LES for their allowance.
Your grandmother won "Squad leader of the year."
All your kids have names that start with 3/3,1/4, 2/6, MACS-5, etc.
Your pickup has your name stenciled on the windshield.
Your have ECR cards from each of your kids for their toys and other T/E equipment.
Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry."
Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically.
Your wife keeps B-Rat service utensils in the China cabinet.
Your wife left you and you held a "Change of Command" ceremony.
You call your in-laws "those Regimental Staff pogues."
You and your kids sing PT cadence songs when traveling, just to pass the time....
Your dog's name is "Recon."
You bum "dips" from your four-year-old daughter.
All your possessions are military issue.
Your kids call their sandbox "The Stumps."
You have pull-up bars outside your front door.
Your daughter's first haircut was a flattop.
Your kids pull firewatch.
Your newborn's first words were "Good to go Sir."
You removed the lower branches from the trees in your yard to clear your fields of fire.
You have an Ops calendar and a POD posted on the kitchen (CP) wall.
The standard command when you get in the family vehicle is "Count, off!"
You hold regular "Health and comfort" inspections of your kids' rooms.
You refer to your property line as the Line of Departure.


Sempers,

Roger

SHOOTER1
12-26-02, 03:26 PM
Roger, you left out the Short Arm Inspection.

firstsgtmike
12-26-02, 08:22 PM
In his office following his normal Saturday morning "white glove" inspection, the retired Sgt. Major called; "L/Cpl Johnson, Front and CENTER."

"L/Cpl Johnson reporting as ordered, Sgt Major."

"L/Cpl Johnson, you're eight years old, salute's still a little sloppy but I've noticed the improvement. Your area is squared away, but you need to provide closer supervision to your brothers. Ten demerits, DISMISSED."

"PFC Johnson front and CENTER."

"PFC Johnson reporting as ordered, Sgt. Major".

"PFC Johnson, you're six years old. Sloppy salute, dirty area, (i.e. cookie crumbs) and you are NOT properly supervising your younger brother. Six demerits. DISMISSED!"

"PVT Johnson, front and CENTER!."

An unkempt, fearful four year old comes into the office and stands before the desk. " Ppprivvtte Joohnssonn reeppoorttngg as oorddered, daddy er Sgt. Majorr."

"PVT Johnson, just look at you!. You are a disgrace to your uniform. You ..., " and the sight of the tears in his son's eyes, the runny nose, and the quiet sobs melted the militant Sgt. Major

"Pvt Johnson,... son, ...dry your eyes,... wipe your nose, ...talk to me, ..I'll listen".

And as he wiped his runny nose on his sleeve, the pride and joy of the Sgt. Major said; "Sir, How do I transfer OUT of this chicken**** outfit.?"

Art Petersn
12-26-02, 09:18 PM
First Sgt.

This just off the news . How close is this stuff to you?

MANILA, Philippines (AP) -- Suspected Muslim rebels ambushed a Canadian company's workers in the southern Philippines on Thursday, killing 12 and injuring 10, the military said.

It was the second deadly attack on Mindanao island this week. On Christmas Eve, a bomb made from an 8 mm mortar shell filled with nail fragments exploded outside the home of a town's mayor, killing 17 people.

Are the conditions over there getting as bad as the press is making them out? I hope you don't mind my asking?

firstsgtmike
12-26-02, 11:32 PM
Art,

I appreciate your concern.

We are on the northern end of the southern island of Mindanao.

The monkeys down south don't affect us up here.

However, the population DOES increase after every windstorm.

The majority of those in Cagayan fell off the trees two or three generations ago.

It's fun to watch the pecking order being established.

And when a white skinned "foreigner" stands up, it's like feeding time in the Monkey House at the San Diego Zoo.

P.S.

I am NOT a racist. I AM a realist. My first wife is a deceased Okinawan. My present wife is Filipina, and we have three sons.

I am a vegetarian. NOT because I love animals, but because I HATE vegetables.

Work on THAT one for a while.



Mike Farrell
Cagayan de Oro
Philippines

Butskie51
12-27-02, 05:47 AM
1st Sgt,
I like the Sgt.Major call, especially course of my own 4 yr. old who is big as a Tank and all boy.

Art Petersn
12-27-02, 07:27 AM
In 1957 I was part of the biggest training operation (Beacon Hill Exersise) that had ever been done up to that time on Dingalon Luzon, Phillippines. There sure was not much there at that time. Only saw dirt roads. I can emagin how much it has changed.
You should go into business hiring out your maids. At that price plus profit and overhead I would still take a half dozen. Nothing over 21 thouh.

If they move your way give a holler and we will put an old timers squad together. By the sounds of some of these guys I don't think you would have to look very far for volunteers .

(I am a vegetarian. NOT because I love animals, but because I HATE vegetables. ) YOU SOUND LIKE MY DI

greensideout
12-28-02, 09:27 PM
firstsgtmike,

You hate vegetables----so you chew them up and spit them out. Right?

Enjoy your comments!

montana
12-29-02, 02:07 PM
firstsgtmike
did you know that vegetarian is a native american word
it means poor hunter

Art Petersn
12-30-02, 07:25 AM
Firstsqtmike It looks like you would hve to live there another l00 years to catch up with the states.

One Hundred Years Ago .......


YEAR OF 1902

The year is 1902 ... one hundred years ago ... what a difference a century makes! Here are some of the U.S. statistics for 1902:

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.

Only 14 Percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.

There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved
roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily
populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents,
California was only the 21st-most populous state in the Union. The
tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.

The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents an hour.

The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist
$2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a
mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at home.

Ninety percent of all U.S. physicians had no college education. Instead,
they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press
and by the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee
cost fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg
yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for
any reason.

The five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii,
and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was 30.

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

One in ten U.S. adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all
Americans had graduated high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at
corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the
complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the
bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

18 percent of households in the U.S. had at least one full-time servant
or domestic.

There were only about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.

Just think what it will be like in another 100 years.......It boggles the

mind.....

firstsgtmike
12-30-02, 10:31 AM
Art,

If it's all the same to you, I'd rather NOT catch up.

However, I DO like the idea of another 100 years.

It'd be a hoot to outlive my great grandchildren.

-----------------------------------------------
A couple in their 80's visited a divorce attorney. Married for 65 years, he tried to talk them out of divorcing. , but they were ademant.

They had wanted to divorce during their first year of marriage, but divorce was not acceptable in their families, and to avoid the shame of it, they decided to wait until their children died.

Art Petersn
01-01-03, 02:56 PM
First Sgt. This was head line news today. It sounds like there starting to get a little to close.

COTABATO, Philippines (Reuters) -- A grenade killed at least six people and injured more than 30 in the insurgency-plagued southern Philippines on Tuesday, officials said.

An unidentified man hurled the grenade at vendors selling firecrackers near Tacurong city in the southwestern part of Mindanao island, a region where Muslim guerrillas are active.

"A lone witness saw a small, long-haired man pull the grenade out of his pocket and throw it on to the ground. There was a stampede," army brigade commander Colonel Agustin Dimaala said.

The street market was bustling with last minute shoppers buying firecrackers for New Year's celebrations, witnesses said.

The grenade blast triggered secondary explosions when firecrackers caught fire.

"There is blood splattered all over the street. Slippers and hats are thrown around. There is a small crater on the street," Dimaala said, adding that the death toll may rise.

Security forces across the Philippines are on high alert ahead of the new year for attacks by Muslim rebels as well as leftist guerrillas, who have refused to follow the government in declaring a ceasefire during the Christmas/New Year holidays.

Police are also on alert for casualties from New Year celebrations. Each year, some people are killed and dozens injured by celebratory gunfire and fireworks.

IS IT TIME TO PUT TOGETHER A BUNCH OF OVER THE HILL MARINES AND COME OVER THERE AND STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT.