thedrifter
06-18-06, 08:31 AM
Agony of war memories is shared
Veterans, loved ones gather at church forum
By Sandi Dolbee
UNION-TRIBUNE STAFF WRITER
June 18, 2006
Decades since fighting in Vietnam, Mike West still has nightmares. His wife hears him waking up, screaming. So do his grandchildren.
Yet the retired Marine master sergeant has never talked to his wife about what he saw and did. “When he wants to tell me, he'll tell me,” Judy West said.
War is a wound that sometimes even time cannot heal.
The Rev. Robert Blessing knows this. That's why he asked the Wests, along with other veterans and loved ones and anyone else who was interested, to come to Good Samaritan Episcopal Church yesterday morning. There, inside the fellowship room of the University City church, about 60 men and women gathered for a program called “Meeting God on the Battlefield.”
“I know that some came here with memories that are very powerful,” Blessing told the group. Some of the memories were from Blessing, who returned earlier this year from a year in Iraq as an Army chaplain.
“I lost 18 guys – one female and 17 men,” he said. “They all died pretty bad deaths.”
He got the idea for the forum from soldiers who kept calling him as they tried to adjust to life after bombs and body bags. Sometimes, even their wives called him.
Those who came to yesterday's program were drawn by the opportunity to listen – and to be listened to. They know war is hell. But they also hold fast to the belief that God is there, too.
“I don't think there's enough of this that comes out to everyday Americans about the spiritual side and the camaraderie part of what we do,” said Rob Ballister, 33, a Navy officer who attends Good Samaritan and came to show his support for troops and veterans.
Speakers talked about how seeing death gave them an appreciation for life. “You never forget,” said Bob Dingeman, an 83-year-old West Point grad who served in World War II, Korea and Vietnam. “Never.”
When it came his time to talk, West said he turned 17 in Korea. After that, there was Vietnam. “I think the most invigorating thing in the world is to be shot at in the daylight, in the morning, and the bullet missing,” said West, 69, who wore a flowered shirt and slacks. “That gets you going.”
He grew somber. “You could have coffee in the morning at first light with a young man and he would not be there when you sat down to have lunch.”
There are lots of tears shed in war, he added. “War is probably the most horrible thing in the world – especially for those who have to fight it. ... When you send your man off to war, he's going to come home a different person. Don't even think he's not going to be a different person.”
The audience listened quietly. At times, the event had the feel of a religious service, with prayers offered and hymns sung. Other times, as scheduled speakers took their place in front of a microphone, the tone teetered between cathartic and inspirational.
Harry Mathis, a former San Diego councilman and Navy officer, buttoned the double-breasted blazer of his old uniform. Then, he shared a story about spending several weeks submerged in a submarine as his crew tracked a fishing boat attempting to sneak weapons into South Vietnam. Eventually, the boat was destroyed and the sailors cheered as the blast reverberated through the water.
Mathis asked the crew to stop and spend a moment of silence for the lives that were lost. “It occurred to me that God was a God of compassion,” he explained. The 73-year-old Mathis thinks the crew understood, too. “Everything just quieted down instantly.”
These were personal testimonials, but Army Reserve Cpl. Jesse Coyne shook his head sadly when asked about news reports of Marines killing 24 unarmed civilians in Haditha last year. “I don't know what happened there.”
Coyne, a 28-year-old El Cajon resident, recently spent a tour of duty in Iraq. “It can make you angry to see your friends die so suddenly. But I don't pretend to understand what happened. I wished it wouldn't have happened.”
After the program ended, tears clouded Carol Ball's eyes as she explained why she attended.
“I just have a real heart for soldiers,” said Ball, 59, who goes to a church in Solana Beach but heard about yesterday's program during a Bible study. “It's always troubled me deeply what they go through in combat.”
One family member, a medic in Iraq, “has gone through a great spiritual crisis,” she said. A little Iraqi girl died in his arms. He also lost several friends. “He has lots of questions for God.”
As for West, the retired Marine, he goes to Good Samaritan and was asked by Blessing to be a speaker. He said he was glad he did it.
“The only way to take care of business is to lay it out there,” he said.
Does that mean he thinks his nightmares are over? He shook his head and shrugged. “No, they're not going to stop.”
Sandi Dolbee: (619) 293-2082; sandi.dolbee@uniontrib.com
Ellie
Veterans, loved ones gather at church forum
By Sandi Dolbee
UNION-TRIBUNE STAFF WRITER
June 18, 2006
Decades since fighting in Vietnam, Mike West still has nightmares. His wife hears him waking up, screaming. So do his grandchildren.
Yet the retired Marine master sergeant has never talked to his wife about what he saw and did. “When he wants to tell me, he'll tell me,” Judy West said.
War is a wound that sometimes even time cannot heal.
The Rev. Robert Blessing knows this. That's why he asked the Wests, along with other veterans and loved ones and anyone else who was interested, to come to Good Samaritan Episcopal Church yesterday morning. There, inside the fellowship room of the University City church, about 60 men and women gathered for a program called “Meeting God on the Battlefield.”
“I know that some came here with memories that are very powerful,” Blessing told the group. Some of the memories were from Blessing, who returned earlier this year from a year in Iraq as an Army chaplain.
“I lost 18 guys – one female and 17 men,” he said. “They all died pretty bad deaths.”
He got the idea for the forum from soldiers who kept calling him as they tried to adjust to life after bombs and body bags. Sometimes, even their wives called him.
Those who came to yesterday's program were drawn by the opportunity to listen – and to be listened to. They know war is hell. But they also hold fast to the belief that God is there, too.
“I don't think there's enough of this that comes out to everyday Americans about the spiritual side and the camaraderie part of what we do,” said Rob Ballister, 33, a Navy officer who attends Good Samaritan and came to show his support for troops and veterans.
Speakers talked about how seeing death gave them an appreciation for life. “You never forget,” said Bob Dingeman, an 83-year-old West Point grad who served in World War II, Korea and Vietnam. “Never.”
When it came his time to talk, West said he turned 17 in Korea. After that, there was Vietnam. “I think the most invigorating thing in the world is to be shot at in the daylight, in the morning, and the bullet missing,” said West, 69, who wore a flowered shirt and slacks. “That gets you going.”
He grew somber. “You could have coffee in the morning at first light with a young man and he would not be there when you sat down to have lunch.”
There are lots of tears shed in war, he added. “War is probably the most horrible thing in the world – especially for those who have to fight it. ... When you send your man off to war, he's going to come home a different person. Don't even think he's not going to be a different person.”
The audience listened quietly. At times, the event had the feel of a religious service, with prayers offered and hymns sung. Other times, as scheduled speakers took their place in front of a microphone, the tone teetered between cathartic and inspirational.
Harry Mathis, a former San Diego councilman and Navy officer, buttoned the double-breasted blazer of his old uniform. Then, he shared a story about spending several weeks submerged in a submarine as his crew tracked a fishing boat attempting to sneak weapons into South Vietnam. Eventually, the boat was destroyed and the sailors cheered as the blast reverberated through the water.
Mathis asked the crew to stop and spend a moment of silence for the lives that were lost. “It occurred to me that God was a God of compassion,” he explained. The 73-year-old Mathis thinks the crew understood, too. “Everything just quieted down instantly.”
These were personal testimonials, but Army Reserve Cpl. Jesse Coyne shook his head sadly when asked about news reports of Marines killing 24 unarmed civilians in Haditha last year. “I don't know what happened there.”
Coyne, a 28-year-old El Cajon resident, recently spent a tour of duty in Iraq. “It can make you angry to see your friends die so suddenly. But I don't pretend to understand what happened. I wished it wouldn't have happened.”
After the program ended, tears clouded Carol Ball's eyes as she explained why she attended.
“I just have a real heart for soldiers,” said Ball, 59, who goes to a church in Solana Beach but heard about yesterday's program during a Bible study. “It's always troubled me deeply what they go through in combat.”
One family member, a medic in Iraq, “has gone through a great spiritual crisis,” she said. A little Iraqi girl died in his arms. He also lost several friends. “He has lots of questions for God.”
As for West, the retired Marine, he goes to Good Samaritan and was asked by Blessing to be a speaker. He said he was glad he did it.
“The only way to take care of business is to lay it out there,” he said.
Does that mean he thinks his nightmares are over? He shook his head and shrugged. “No, they're not going to stop.”
Sandi Dolbee: (619) 293-2082; sandi.dolbee@uniontrib.com
Ellie