View Full Version : Marriage after boot, need some advice Marines.
:thumbdown My 18 yr old nephew is scheduled for boot camp this Sept. His girlfriend wants to get married as soon as he gets out of boot. I have told him that he does not want to do this, with one of the reasons that he would get the "less than desirable" duty stations. I'm not sure if that is true. What else can I tell him other than he's gonna meet lots of women out there?
Need your response's ASAP.
Thanks.
Thoms.:flag:
ringoffire
05-26-06, 03:07 PM
Does your nephew want to get married as well?
I don't remember how long the leave is after boot, but there is more training after boot. At least maybe you can persaude the girlfriend to wait until he is done with ALL his training, including MOS school.
I believe he is unsure, but doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend. From what I have heard from his Mother, is that he had "the talk" with her, about marriage and having children. I did believe at one point that she truly loved him, but after I heard the comment she made was that after she becomes his wife, she is going to get her teeth fixed with his Marine Benefits.
I'm just trying to find some truth in what the hardships could be. I know one is definetly base housing and the dreadful waiting list.
And thank you for responding.
:flag:
Marine84
05-26-06, 03:42 PM
Tell the girl to at least wait until he gets settled in the Corps first - he's going to be moving around a lot and she may or may not be able to go with him. If she isn't going to be able to handle that, he doesn't need to marry this one especially since it sounds like all she's interested in is his benefits.
And at 18? Geez, does he think she's his last chance? He'll feel the same way about a lot more of them before it's all over with.
GySgtRet
05-26-06, 03:44 PM
Her attitude alone should tell your nephew something. "I heard the comment she made was that after she becomes his wife, she is going to get her teeth fixed with his Marine Benefits." This is a good one. Do you know what MOS he will have? If it is infantry this could be a good approach. Or one of the Commandants General Gray Every Marine is a rifleman. Then explain that to him. If he hurts her I think that he would be better off. Starting out with this type of a nonexsistant relationship or at the minimum a oneway, isn't the best.
pmorris
05-26-06, 03:50 PM
ask him if he really wants to be tied down and have to make dicissions on what his wife wants or what his wife needs i was married right after boot still together happily but it was very hard for me while i was in
BigCat1
05-26-06, 04:24 PM
Thoms...I was 18 and fresh out of boot camp when I got married....the first time....There are way too many pitfalls for a newly made Marine to be getting married....Yes..housing is one, but what happens if he gets unaccompanied orders OCONUS??? Then what??? That's a 24 month tour of duty where they will be seperated....Also, a young Pvt. or Pfc., doesn't make enough money to support himself off base, let alone himself and a wife. And make no mistake about it, they will be living off base...She also sounds like she's only interested in his benefits...but that's another story....Believe me when I tell you (from experience), that "If the Marines wanted you to have a wife, they would have issued you one!" I'd tell him to wait to get married until he is at least a Corporal!
Shadowman777
05-26-06, 05:21 PM
I believe he is unsure, but doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend.
Anyone who is not 100% sure, should not get married. Period. To get married because he "does not want to hurt her feelings" - well that's simply a "pity marriage" and they ***never*** last.
Trust me - been there, done it, and wish I had run from her like she had the plague! If only someone had said, "Run Forest, run!"
:mad:
SgtDBrownRet
05-26-06, 08:36 PM
Tell her what I tell men, "If the Marine Corps wanted me to have a spouse they would have issued me one in bootcamp". I agree with the pity marriage thing. Sugarcoating and stringing her along will only make it worse. I also hear from alot of wives of Marines that they change when they come back from bootcamp. She may not like what he becomes. Everyone cannot be a Marine Corps spouse. It takes alot of work and patiences. As for the "teeth fix" comment, he his going to have to learn how to deal with those types sooner or later. There are people out there just looking of a dependant ID card, and they will use every trick in the book to get it. If she wants the benefits, she needs to join a branch of the military instead of wanted through him. If he doesn't want to get married, I am sure after bootcamp he will have the guts to tell her.
Shadowman777
05-26-06, 09:33 PM
Tell her what I tell men, "If the Marine Corps wanted me to have a spouse they would have issued me one in bootcamp". I agree with the pity marriage thing. Sugarcoating and stringing her along will only make it worse. I also hear from alot of wives of Marines that they change when they come back from bootcamp. She may not like what he becomes. Everyone cannot be a Marine Corps spouse. It takes alot of work and patiences. As for the "teeth fix" comment, he his going to have to learn how to deal with those types sooner or later. There are people out there just looking of a dependant ID card, and they will use every trick in the book to get it. If she wants the benefits, she needs to join a branch of the military instead of wanted through him. If he doesn't want to get married, I am sure after bootcamp he will have the guts to tell her.
Excellent post Denella !
KillerKombo
05-27-06, 09:05 AM
As a first termer.. there are way too many temptations out there.
Thank you all very much for you comments and advice. I will be speaking with him again real soon.
Semper Fi
Woo Hoo, they didn't get married!!!! And she joined the ARMY. Thank you God & thank you all!!!!
yanacek
03-06-08, 11:51 AM
Well, at least now she can get her teeth fixed.:banana:
Big Jim
03-06-08, 11:53 AM
Woo Hoo, they didn't get married!!!! And she joined the ARMY. Thank you God & thank you all!!!!
I'm glad everything worked out for the best...and it is because if YOU see the huge mistake they were about to make, it was the right thing to step and show them both ALL the reasons why they should wait and stand the test of time before screwing up BOTH their lives. Good job!!
SGT7477
03-06-08, 01:21 PM
Her attitude alone should tell your nephew something. "I heard the comment she made was that after she becomes his wife, she is going to get her teeth fixed with his Marine Benefits." This is a good one. Do you know what MOS he will have? If it is infantry this could be a good approach. Or one of the Commandants General Gray Every Marine is a rifleman. Then explain that to him. If he hurts her I think that he would be better off. Starting out with this type of a nonexsistant relationship or at the minimum a oneway, isn't the best.
Another thing Gunny would he make enough money to support a family?:flag:
SGT7477
03-06-08, 01:25 PM
Woo Hoo, they didn't get married!!!! And she joined the ARMY. Thank you God & thank you all!!!!
Problem solved she went over to the darkside,lol.:flag:
PatriotGirl422
03-06-08, 03:37 PM
Yay now we can all rest easy. I've been waiting 2 years to hear the outcome of this story. lol
Marine84
03-06-08, 07:59 PM
YAY! Another satisfied customer...................