Another fake soldier tale debunked

[fontman]

May 24, 2006
by Michelle Malkin

Meet "Jessie MacBeth." He's the latest cause celebre of the anti-war Left -- a "former Army Ranger and Iraq war veteran" who accuses his fellow troops of committing a litany of atrocities against innocent civilians. Anti-Vietnam War veteran John Kerry and the Winter Soldiers cast a long shadow.

In his 20-minute Internet video interview at peacefilms.org, which promises that watching the video "will change your life," MacBeth (who also claims to have served in Special Forces) says:

-- Superiors told him "our job over there is to strike fear in the hearts of the Iraqis . . . to be brutal and to not feel" and that "the Geneva Convention doesn't mean crap."

-- He would "do night raids, pull people out, on their knees and zip-tied," and if a man didn't answer the way he wanted him to, he "would shoot his youngest kid and keep going."

-- "By my hand alone . . . almost 200 people were taken out by me. That's just a rough estimate. A lot of them at close range . . . they would actually feel the hot muzzle of my rifle on their forehead . . . we'd do stuff that would scare them first . . . beat 'em up or kick 'em or hit the wife . . . slaughtering 30-40 people a night sometimes, women and children . . . I was trained, you know, in all the Ranger school, 18 months of that crap . . . I got disappointed in my country . . . but I didn't say anything because I would have been locked up."

-- "Other things they told us to do, man, we were ordered to go into a mosque. This really hurts me a lot. My nightmares come mostly from this . . . we infiltrated the mosque . . . a couple hundred of people of all ages were praying . . . we started slaughtering them, we started shooting them, started taking them out . . . we would burn their bodies, hang the bodies from the rafters . . . after a while, it's just sickening to think that I took part in that . . . "

-- "Kids threw rocks at us before and the guard command officer told us to take them out . . . Our job was just kill, kill, kill."

-- "I'm so disappointed in my country. I'm ashamed to have actually served in Iraq."

On the Military.com website, to which anyone can contribute, a profile of MacBeth claimed he had three basic combat jumps, service in Afghanistan as well as Iraq, and several awards including a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart.

There's just one problem: According to Department of the Army spokesman Paul Boyce, there is no record of "Jessie MacBeth," a.k.a. Jesse Adam MacBeth, having served in either the Rangers or the Special Forces -- or in any part of the Army at all. Boyce told me Tuesday that a check on MacBeth's credentials came up empty. "At a minimum, this appears to have been concocted" and "some sort of hoax," Boyce said. Special Operations Command and the State Department have been alerted.

MacBeth's story started to crumble after my colleagues at the Hot Air blog (www.hotair.com) called attention to the Peace Films video interview and asked military bloggers about MacBeth's appearance and claims. Harnessing the specialized knowledge of the blogosphere, military bloggers debunked a photo purportedly showing MacBeth in his official uniform (with his beret backward, incorrect flashes and tabs, and missing wings).

The Army's Boyce told me the uniform issues were a major "red flag" -- as were MacBeth's incredible claims to have entered the Army at 16, served as both a Ranger and in Special Ops, sustained various stabbing and shooting wounds, and exited at age 20. Not to mention all those unsubstantiated, slanderous smears against the Army Rangers (who suffered similar attacks by another lying anti-war veteran poseur, Micah Wright, in 2004).

Anti-war zealots initially defended the bogus soldier's tale, but are now moving quickly to cover up the MacBeth stain. The video was yanked Tuesday afternoon. But not to worry.

I hear former CBS producer Mary Mapes, champion of "fake but accurate" journalism, is interested in publicizing Jessie MacBeth's tall tales.

[thedrifter]

Stop the Lies
Iowahawk Guest Commentary
by Jesse Macbeth
Iraq War Veterans Against Google
Breakfast Shift Associate, Wendys of Tacoma

As a decorated combat veteran of Bush's Iraq misadventure, I am all too familiar with the saying "the first casualty of war is truth." Because this administration sold us a war of empire on a double stack combo of lies, biggie sized them, and served them up with extra mustard. And I was there to see it, man.

My story starts in 2001. I was a sophomore at Mayfield High, a star athlete who was captain of the basketball, football, and track teams, and had singlehandly scored 200 home runs in one memorable wrestling meet against the Riverdale Archies. Obviously, this made me irresistable to girls, and I easily bagged the entire pom squad after winning my 4th straight state debate championship. No **** dude, I totally taped the whole thing, but I left it in the VCR and my stupid mom recorded it over with an episode of Wheel of Fortune.

While my incredible athletic and sexual prowess earned me accolades on the field and in the sack, it also earned me many enemies in the halls of Mayfield High. An upperclassmen named Dawson became enraged after learning I completely wanged his girlfriend Stacey, who went into a jealous fit after she found out I also wanged her totally hot mom. Then I learned a senior named Bueller had sworn his revenge on me because I smoked his Ferrari with my 600 horsepower VTEC Civic, which does 180 mph in the quarter, easy.

These lying liars went to the principal and started hurling lies. They accused me of drilling the mysterious hole in the girl's locker room. They accused me of showering in my underpants during PE, when they had no concrete evidence, and also maybe it was because of a medical condition. The accused me of lying, which was a complete lie, because in truth they were the real liars.

It was then I realized how damaging lies can be, even when the fat Goth poetry club chicks still believe you. I was expelled and my name was banished from the school and state athletic record books, effectively ruining my chances at the NBA. I channeled my anger into my Civic, adding a *****in' body kit from Pep Boys, nitrous, and a sweet 4" exhaust tip, but the cops busted me for 300 mph over the limit. Without a diploma or any way to pay the $500,000 speeding fine, the angry judge gave me the hard alternatives: jail, the Army, or male modeling school.

A week later I busting my hump in basic at Fort Kill, slogging through the mud and razor wire with live gun bullets swooshing over my head. The Texas heat was hotter and crispier than a Spicy Chicken DeLuxe, but I was oddly enjoying it. Sergeant Fury, the camp's shift manager, frequently praised my natural killer instincts and tidy uniform. I had already learned the Army's two main rules: A) kill or be killed, and B) employees must wash hands after using the latrine (for you civilians, "latrine" is the name we professional Army people call the toilet).

But Fury wasn't the only one who saw my potential as a killing machine. That day the Fort had a surprise visitor: Condoleezza Rice. She was in Texas to help Halliburton plan the Iraq invasion at Bush's nearby ranch, and had decided to check out the "fresh meat" at camp. As I waded through the muck, I heard her voice ring out - "him... him... oooo, definitely him." I looked up and saw Rice pointing at me, her eyes hungrily caressing my camos. She had personally selected me for Advanced SpecOps Ranger Superkiller training at King's Island Ohio, and a number of other 'duties' which you can read about in next month's Penthouse Forum.

After our tumultuous tryst Rice had a change of heart, and begged me to stay in Washington with her, to plan American empire and for more hot wanging. "No dice, babe," I said. "Oh playa, give mama a booty call from Baghdad," she pled.

Ranger training was intense. Here I was among the best of the best - elite soldiers like Wright, and Pyle, and Bailey, rock hard mofos who were colder than an extra large Strawberry Frosty. There were even a few chicks soldiers like Benjamin and GI Jane, who I also wanged. We received training in advanced killing methods like neck-snapping and hand-to-hand spatula fighting. Although I was already buff, the rigorous training and wanging bulked me up to 145 pounds of rock solid death-bot.

One afternoon I was practicing my kung fu grip on my wingman, Maverick, when the Sarge gave us the call: "Pack up your stuff," he said ominously. "It's time to cap some hadjis." Three hours later we were parachuting into Fallujah, wondering what our secret mission would be. When I landed in the courtyard of the Iraqi Montessori school, I realized the horrible truth: "Operation Iraqi Freedom" was actually "Operation Iraqis - Fry Them."

It was too late to turn back now. I waded into the crowd of screaming moppets with both machine guns blazing, cutting down row after row of toddlers as the Sarge barked orders to keep killing - "hit the A button! hit the A button!!!". When I ran out of ammo I used my bayonet to kill some more until the blade broke off, and then I began bludgeoning the remaining toddlers with other toddlers and toddler parts. Finally I collapsed on the floor in a daze, completely out of health points.

The next six years in Iraq were a basically a daze for me, because you try to put that out of your mind to keep from poignantly going crazy. As I remember, there was more toddler killing, and I think I got stabbed or something by insurgents. I don't hold a grudge, because hey, if some occupier were shooting my toddlers I would probably start stabbing him too. Besides, the stabbing injuries earned me a trip back stateside and a shoebox full of Purple Hearts. I would show you them, but my stupid mom accidentally sold them at her garage sale last month.

When I got back in the States, I thought I could put the entire Iraq incident behind me and get on with my life, but the Army denied my benefits to keep me quiet and had my Civic repossessed. I was haunted by visions of toddler-strewn battlefields. Then I was hassled at a coffee shop in Arizona, which wouldn't serve me because of my uniform, and called the police before I could call my lawyer after slipping on their dangerously slippery floor.

I was just about to give up hope when I met the IWVAG and got involved in the Anti-War movement. It was a personal catharsis. Finally, here was a group of Americans who were eager to listen to the truth about Iraq, the truth about the toddlers, the truth about the many wangings I have given to Demi Moore. Even though they haven't worn the uniform like me, these folks represent the true soul of real America patriotism - the bravery to unconditionally accept every horrid truth about America's genocidal bloodlust, and the balls to get a grant to fund a PBS documentary about it. Starring me!

Ellie

[fontman]

No s h i t, I was In Fallujah with Jesse MacBeth...in the Airborne Special Air Assault Ranger Forces Unit; The Screaming Beagles.

We crept through the inky shadows to our target, the Coffee Plantation near Arizona State University. Once inside, my battle buddy and I mowed down nearly two dozen iced mocha lattes before slithering back through the quiet streets of Tempe, er.. Fallujah, leaving a trail of stench as we had forgotten we were lactose intolerant. The horror, the horror. We arrived just in time to roll our sleeves up with the insides showing and make sure our berets were lined up properly with the flash over our right eyes in preparation for our morning uniform inspection.

Unfortunately, we were gigged as our pin-on rank had unknowingly fallen off during our mission. We were then sent home, unfit to remain with our elite fighting unit.

And that is how we ended up working at Wendy's in the Seattle area...

http://www.thefontman.com/rotflmao.gif

[junker316]

No s h i t, I was In Fallujah with Jesse MacBeth...in the Airborne Special Air Assault Ranger Forces Unit; The Screaming Beagles.

We crept through the inky shadows to our target, the Coffee Plantation near Arizona State University. Once inside, my battle buddy and I mowed down nearly two dozen iced mocha lattes before slithering back through the quiet streets of Tempe, er.. Fallujah, leaving a trail of stench as we had forgotten we were lactose intolerant. The horror, the horror. We arrived just in time to roll our sleeves up with the insides showing and make sure our berets were lined up properly with the flash over our right eyes in preparation for our morning uniform inspection.

Unfortunately, we were gigged as our pin-on rank had unknowingly fallen off during our mission. We were then sent home, unfit to remain with our elite fighting unit.

And that is how we ended up working at Wendy's in the Seattle area...

http://www.thefontman.com/rotflmao.gif

This is some funny S$%#, I just wish that jerks like Jesse MacBeth would quit trying to de-value efforts made in any of our War Zones.

[Future-USMC-LT]

My God, what a straight up bag of heinous ass.

[daniel0351]

Does anyone else want to take this poser out to the wood shed?

[rktect3j]

No s h i t, I was In Fallujah with Jesse MacBeth...in the Airborne Special Air Assault Ranger Forces Unit; The Screaming Beagles.

We crept through the inky shadows to our target, the Coffee Plantation near Arizona State University. Once inside, my battle buddy and I mowed down nearly two dozen iced mocha lattes before slithering back through the quiet streets of Tempe, er.. Fallujah, leaving a trail of stench as we had forgotten we were lactose intolerant. The horror, the horror. We arrived just in time to roll our sleeves up with the insides showing and make sure our berets were lined up properly with the flash over our right eyes in preparation for our morning uniform inspection.

Unfortunately, we were gigged as our pin-on rank had unknowingly fallen off during our mission. We were then sent home, unfit to remain with our elite fighting unit.

And that is how we ended up working at Wendy's in the Seattle area...

http://www.thefontman.com/rotflmao.gif
Bwahaha. Nice one.

[jennifer]

WOW!!! Well I think that someone should find these guys and REALLY send them out to Iraq or Afghan so they can see what it's really like and get thier arse FRIED!!! I betcha they won't last out there, HECK, I can probably out do them out in the box. VERY FUNNY and I can't believe people do that kind of $h!t!! :devious:

[SemperFin]

Drifter, dude, that is some seriously funny sh**. I almost have tears in my eyes and an ache in my side. Dude, you should go pro!

[SemperFin]

"Dude" was used in the figurative sense, not the literal so don't come gunnin' for me.

[MillRatUSMC]

Where are all these worms coming from?
Can't find an image of this worm, his web page on myspace.
Has a message xxxx all u haters
Took down the picture that was there, so there no image.
You would think after all these claims of bravo and sexual conquest.
He would have had enough "balls" to leave it there.
No guts=no "balls"
What a scumbag and low life.
He and his co-hort in Georgia might be giving worms a bad name...

[recon sarge]

People like that should be sent out to the box and stationed where I was in Ramadi !!!! They would **** their pants.


Semper Fi

:usmc: :evilgrin:

[fontman]

By Jeff Schogol, Stars and Stripes
Pacific edition, Sunday, May 28, 2006

ARLINGTON, Va. — Debunking the claims of a minor Internet celebrity, the Army said it has no record of a man who claimed he committed atrocities with Army Rangers in Iraq.

In an interview posted on the Web site SocialistAlternative.org, Jesse MacBeth claimed that his job was to “strike fear in the hearts of the Iraqi people” while serving with the 3rd Ranger Battalion.

“We would go into people’s houses and plow down entire families,” MacBeth said. “We would interrogate people. If we didn’t like the answers that they gave, then we would kill the youngest child. If they gave more answers that we didn’t like, then we’d move on to the rest of the family. They could’ve been innocent people.”

MacBeth also claimed U.S. troops would “slaughter” Iraqis in mosques.

But U.S. Army Special Operations Command at Fort Bragg found no evidence of a soldier named Jesse MacBeth ever serving with Army Rangers or Special Forces, said Army spokesman Paul Boyce.

Boyce also noted several red flags about MacBeth’s appearance.

“There are also numerous wear and appearance issues with the soldier’s uniform — a mix of foreign uniforms with the sleeves rolled up like a Marine and a badly floppy tan beret worn like a pastry chef,” Boyce said.

In one picture of MacBeth posted online, he is wearing his beret with the insignia centered over the wrong eye.

In a telephone interview Thursday, MacBeth said he purposely wore his uniform backward in a video interview in which he made his allegations because veterans are prohibited from wearing their uniforms at protests.

Asked why the Army found no record of him, MacBeth said, “They did the same thing to John Kerry.”

But the group Iraq Veterans Against the War, to which MacBeth belonged, said it too was skeptical of MacBeth.

In a statement on its Web site, the group said MacBeth’s claims of service “have not been verified” and the group is conducting an investigation of the matter.

Group member Garett Reppenhagen called MacBeth a “troubled kid.”

“I’m not sure why he would want to be fraudulent to IVAW,” Reppenhagen said in a telephone interview Thursday.

Reppenhagen said the group would take steps in the future to verify its members’ service, but he could not say what those measures might be.

Vietnam veteran Doug Sterner is an advocate for a proposed law that would make it a felony to make false claims of decorations earned. MacBeth claimed he had earned a Bronze Star.

Sterner said he believes MacBeth is more interested in “self-gratification” than getting a political message across.

“If he was honestly a war protester, he would do it honestly, so his opposition to the war is as transparent as his military service is bogus,” Sterner said.

But MacBeth insisted he served in Iraq with the Rangers and claimed Iraq Veterans Against the War had betrayed him.

“When the heat gets on them they stab me in the back,” he said.

Still, MacBeth said he would not defend his credibility any further.

“I’m not going to follow this battle no more. The right wing won,” he said.