thedrifter
05-11-06, 07:04 AM
Article published May 11, 2006
A Mother's Day unlike most others
By SHARYN LONSDALE
sharyn.lonsdale@heraldtribune.com
Liz Langlais and Donna Neilson have very different plans for Mother's Day.
Langlais will spend the day with her family, doing something special. "It's usually a surprise," she said. Neilson will be behind the bar at VFW Post 10178 in Englewood, where both women work.
However, they will likely begin the day exactly the same way they always do: checking their e-mail to make sure their daughters have made it safely through another night in Iraq.
Langlais's oldest daughter, Renee, 21, is a lance corporal in the Marine Corps. Neilson's daughter, Jody, 19, is a private first class in the Army.
With daughters over there, Mother's Day is a lot different over here.
"Life is a constant worry," said Neilson.
"There's definitely a hole. You think about them 24/7," said Langlais, who has four other children -- Marc, 19, Nicole, 18, Maggie, 15 and Kit, 12.
Sometimes Langlais still can't believe she has a daughter in the Marines.
When she picked up her ringing cell phone in the parent pick-up line at Vineland Elementary one Friday afternoon in May 2004 and saw it was from Renee, she assumed the college student needed money.
Instead, the 2002 Lemon Bay Grad calmly informed her mother that she planned to take the oath for the United States Marine Corps the next morning.
"I said, 'no way,'" recalled Langlais. "She said, 'way.'"
"I said, 'Renee, why the Marines? The Marines are tough.' She said 'Mom, I want the challenge.'"
Langlais said Renee soon found out that mom was right. The Marines were tough.
How tough?
"She told me her D.I.'s (drill instructors) made me look like Mary Poppins," Langlais said with a smile.
Neilson said that when Jody told her of her plans to enlist soon after graduating from high school in New Jersey, she wasn't as surprised. Jody had been in the ROTC and, said Neilson, "My whole family is retired military."
But when Jody found out there was a six-month wait for the Air Force and started talking about going into the Marines, her mother had heard enough.
"She wasn't going Marines, that's it," said Neilson. She talked her daughter into the Army instead.
Neilson cried as she talked of the little girl she called "Peanut."
"When she started kindergarten I had to pick her up and put her on the step of the bus."
She said she didn't even think the Army would take Jody, since she's legally blind in one eye. When her older daughter, Gillian, tried to enlist six years ago at 18, they turned her down because of her allergy to bees. But, said Neilson, "The war wasn't under way then."
The day her daughter said she was enlisting was a bad day for Neilson, but things got worse when, four days before her October 2005 graduation from Fort Gordon in Georgia, Jody found out she wasn't going to Hawaii as she had been told, but to Fort Hood, Texas -- and from there to Iraq.
"She was fine about it," said Neilson, who held it together until they got off the phone, then broke down.
Jody came home on leave just about a month ago, said Neilson, but she was so busy, and went to visit so many people, that they didn't spend enough time together.
Renee is on her second seven-month tour in Iraq. She was last home at Christmas.
"We had a ball," she said.
Both women are grateful for e-mail. Neilson even has a camera hooked up so she can see her daughter when they message each other.
But e-mail is also the source of their worst days, when there's a communication lock-down and military personnel are not allowed to correspond with their families.
"When you don't get one in four or five days, it's scary," said Langlais.
Neilson will never forget when she saw on TV that a Hummer carrying personnel from her daughter's unit in Baghdad was hit and soldiers were killed. She had no idea that Jody was picked to fly instead, and Jody couldn't contact her family until the families of the dead soldiers were notified. Those six days seemed to last a lifetime.
Langlais said Renee is at Camp Fallujah, but, because she is an intelligence specialist, she isn't allowed to talk much about what she's doing.
"She's allowed to say yes and no," said Langlais.
So they talk about Nicole's prom and upcoming graduation and the dogs, strays that Renee brought home, and if Renee needs her mom to send her more ramen noodles and powdered drink mix.
Sometimes, Neilson said, the less you know, the better. She worried about her daughter even more when she was pulled from her regular duty programming computers in tanks to search for and detonating roadside bombs. Now she's back on base in Tikrit and telss her mom that things are quiet -- for now.
While some might think working behind a bar, surrounded by veterans and listening to war stories, might make it harder for the women, both feel the opposite is true.
"Being here is very comforting," said Neilson. "You have your veterans here that get you through it."
The Post's Vietnam Brotherhood sends care packages to the girls. The VFW Post in Daytona where Neilson used to work adopted Jody's unit.
They also have each other. While they work different shifts, the women see each other nearly every day and, said Langlais, she knows other moms in Englewood who also have kids in Iraq.
And they have their other children to keep them busy. Neilson's daughter and her grandson, Donald, 3, recently moved out of her home to their own place nearby. Her son, Donald, lives in New Jersey.
Langlais and her husband of 29 years, Marc, have four kids at home and two who are old enough to enlist, but, she said, that's not a concern. Recruiters call her house all the time and they don't have a chance of getting by her. And, she said, when they send things in the mail, "I put it right through the shredder."
Both women said that, while this might not be what they envisioned for their daughters, they are proud of them. They are tough. They have proven themselves. But they are still their daughters and their moms can not protect them.
"She belongs to Uncle Sam and that's that," said Neilson.
Langlais nods, "They're government property."
Renee is signed up for five years of active duty and three years reserve, but, said Langlais, the way things are going, "It may as well be eight active."
Neilson said that Jody joined the Army with retirement in mind, but won't re-enlist if the war is going on when her commitment is up in four years.
"She said, 'I won't be deployed from my country again,'" said Neilson.
Until then, the moms will e-mail, talk on the phone and count the days until their girls are back to celebrate birthdays, graduations and Mother's Day. And that will make those days even more special.
Meanwhile, said Neilson, "You're grateful for each day you don't get that knock on the door."
Ellie
A Mother's Day unlike most others
By SHARYN LONSDALE
sharyn.lonsdale@heraldtribune.com
Liz Langlais and Donna Neilson have very different plans for Mother's Day.
Langlais will spend the day with her family, doing something special. "It's usually a surprise," she said. Neilson will be behind the bar at VFW Post 10178 in Englewood, where both women work.
However, they will likely begin the day exactly the same way they always do: checking their e-mail to make sure their daughters have made it safely through another night in Iraq.
Langlais's oldest daughter, Renee, 21, is a lance corporal in the Marine Corps. Neilson's daughter, Jody, 19, is a private first class in the Army.
With daughters over there, Mother's Day is a lot different over here.
"Life is a constant worry," said Neilson.
"There's definitely a hole. You think about them 24/7," said Langlais, who has four other children -- Marc, 19, Nicole, 18, Maggie, 15 and Kit, 12.
Sometimes Langlais still can't believe she has a daughter in the Marines.
When she picked up her ringing cell phone in the parent pick-up line at Vineland Elementary one Friday afternoon in May 2004 and saw it was from Renee, she assumed the college student needed money.
Instead, the 2002 Lemon Bay Grad calmly informed her mother that she planned to take the oath for the United States Marine Corps the next morning.
"I said, 'no way,'" recalled Langlais. "She said, 'way.'"
"I said, 'Renee, why the Marines? The Marines are tough.' She said 'Mom, I want the challenge.'"
Langlais said Renee soon found out that mom was right. The Marines were tough.
How tough?
"She told me her D.I.'s (drill instructors) made me look like Mary Poppins," Langlais said with a smile.
Neilson said that when Jody told her of her plans to enlist soon after graduating from high school in New Jersey, she wasn't as surprised. Jody had been in the ROTC and, said Neilson, "My whole family is retired military."
But when Jody found out there was a six-month wait for the Air Force and started talking about going into the Marines, her mother had heard enough.
"She wasn't going Marines, that's it," said Neilson. She talked her daughter into the Army instead.
Neilson cried as she talked of the little girl she called "Peanut."
"When she started kindergarten I had to pick her up and put her on the step of the bus."
She said she didn't even think the Army would take Jody, since she's legally blind in one eye. When her older daughter, Gillian, tried to enlist six years ago at 18, they turned her down because of her allergy to bees. But, said Neilson, "The war wasn't under way then."
The day her daughter said she was enlisting was a bad day for Neilson, but things got worse when, four days before her October 2005 graduation from Fort Gordon in Georgia, Jody found out she wasn't going to Hawaii as she had been told, but to Fort Hood, Texas -- and from there to Iraq.
"She was fine about it," said Neilson, who held it together until they got off the phone, then broke down.
Jody came home on leave just about a month ago, said Neilson, but she was so busy, and went to visit so many people, that they didn't spend enough time together.
Renee is on her second seven-month tour in Iraq. She was last home at Christmas.
"We had a ball," she said.
Both women are grateful for e-mail. Neilson even has a camera hooked up so she can see her daughter when they message each other.
But e-mail is also the source of their worst days, when there's a communication lock-down and military personnel are not allowed to correspond with their families.
"When you don't get one in four or five days, it's scary," said Langlais.
Neilson will never forget when she saw on TV that a Hummer carrying personnel from her daughter's unit in Baghdad was hit and soldiers were killed. She had no idea that Jody was picked to fly instead, and Jody couldn't contact her family until the families of the dead soldiers were notified. Those six days seemed to last a lifetime.
Langlais said Renee is at Camp Fallujah, but, because she is an intelligence specialist, she isn't allowed to talk much about what she's doing.
"She's allowed to say yes and no," said Langlais.
So they talk about Nicole's prom and upcoming graduation and the dogs, strays that Renee brought home, and if Renee needs her mom to send her more ramen noodles and powdered drink mix.
Sometimes, Neilson said, the less you know, the better. She worried about her daughter even more when she was pulled from her regular duty programming computers in tanks to search for and detonating roadside bombs. Now she's back on base in Tikrit and telss her mom that things are quiet -- for now.
While some might think working behind a bar, surrounded by veterans and listening to war stories, might make it harder for the women, both feel the opposite is true.
"Being here is very comforting," said Neilson. "You have your veterans here that get you through it."
The Post's Vietnam Brotherhood sends care packages to the girls. The VFW Post in Daytona where Neilson used to work adopted Jody's unit.
They also have each other. While they work different shifts, the women see each other nearly every day and, said Langlais, she knows other moms in Englewood who also have kids in Iraq.
And they have their other children to keep them busy. Neilson's daughter and her grandson, Donald, 3, recently moved out of her home to their own place nearby. Her son, Donald, lives in New Jersey.
Langlais and her husband of 29 years, Marc, have four kids at home and two who are old enough to enlist, but, she said, that's not a concern. Recruiters call her house all the time and they don't have a chance of getting by her. And, she said, when they send things in the mail, "I put it right through the shredder."
Both women said that, while this might not be what they envisioned for their daughters, they are proud of them. They are tough. They have proven themselves. But they are still their daughters and their moms can not protect them.
"She belongs to Uncle Sam and that's that," said Neilson.
Langlais nods, "They're government property."
Renee is signed up for five years of active duty and three years reserve, but, said Langlais, the way things are going, "It may as well be eight active."
Neilson said that Jody joined the Army with retirement in mind, but won't re-enlist if the war is going on when her commitment is up in four years.
"She said, 'I won't be deployed from my country again,'" said Neilson.
Until then, the moms will e-mail, talk on the phone and count the days until their girls are back to celebrate birthdays, graduations and Mother's Day. And that will make those days even more special.
Meanwhile, said Neilson, "You're grateful for each day you don't get that knock on the door."
Ellie