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View Full Version : Awkward question.



Osotogary
05-04-06, 10:16 AM
Have any of you ever thought about asking other Marines, past active, current active, what kind of Marine your son, daughter, cousin, nephew, son-in-law, or maybe even friend was or is? Did you ever want to hear what his or her Marine peers thought of the Marine you were asking about?
I would imagine that, from one Marine to another, asking such a question would be second nature and handled appropriately but how would you feel if a civilian asked you for an honest opinion about another Marine, wether it be the civilian's relative or not? How would any of you suggest a civilian go about asking other Marines, "How good a Marine was so and so? Can you tell me a little bit about him or her?
I wonder how many of you thought about asking the same two questions but thought that, by doing so, you would be creating an awkward situation for everyone involved and so, consequently, you didn't?
Personally, I'm curious as all get out to find out what my Marine sons' fellow Marines think/thought of him but I'm just not comfortable about asking for any information unless I get some sort of clearance from my son to do so.
How do you feel about all of this?

yellowwing
05-04-06, 10:33 AM
I would think your son's circle would tell you nothing but high praise. Not just because he truly deserves it, but I would guess they would not share any negative views with a civilian.

He went and did his job. A very hard freakin' job that 95% of America just cannot do.

Osotogary
05-04-06, 10:49 AM
Thank you for the kind words, Yellowwing, but it is the process of asking that I was feeling awkward about and I was wondering if any of you felt the same way. Knowing you all somewhat I don't envision any of you being anything but straight forward with any kind of questions. LOL. Me? I'm still sensitive without first getting the young Marines' okay....even though it may not be necessary.

chafas2531
05-04-06, 10:56 AM
Gary. In response to your question, well I would have to reply with: I believe in the old addage of honesty is not the best policy but the only one. We Marines share something special that goes beyond what mere simple verbage could ever convey. I personally never met a "bad" Marine (whatever that means???) and besides that we are trained from day one that we need each other. Every Marine is dependent on his fellow Marine to complete his mission. Every Marine is vital! To point it more clearly, go pound your little toe with a sledge hammer and see how important that little toe is. Understand? Sorry it seems like I circumnavigated around the question but I think I answered it the best way I know how. God bless you! Semper Fidelis!
ben

Osotogary
05-04-06, 11:17 AM
Basically then, the question of how was so and so as a Marine, in the world of Marines, the question is almost, if not totally, irrelevant, especially if asked by a civilian. A civilian that does not understand this Marine mindset would probably tend to disagree. I understand where you are coming from and I agree with what you have said and I certainly appreciated your landscape explaination. It is because I understand all this that I asked the question..so that others, who perhaps were wondering the same thing, could grasp some insight from whatever responses are entered.
Thanks for your input, chafas2531 (ben)
By the way-
The little toe, if smashed with a sledge hammer, will immediately let you know how important it is even if it has been curled under the toe next to it, doing nothing, for over twenty years. LOL

Range Coach
05-04-06, 11:33 AM
If a civilian were to ask me about their son/daughter and what kind of a Marine he/she was, I would answer truthfully. The truth, however, would be only the positive virtues of the Marine. I don't believe that a verbal "stain" should be placed on any Marine or the Marine Corps when speaking to civilians or non-Marines---even if it's the parents asking. This is especially true if the Marine has transferred to MCB Heaven's Gates. On the other hand, if another Marine were to ask me about a Marine equal to or lower than his/her rank, I would answer with the cold, hard truth---he/she is a good Marine but has some correctable bad habits. As far as asking for permission? I feel that it is a parents responsibility, duty and obligation to check up on their children---no permission needed. My mother stills checks up on me, even after 40++ years. As a parent, I would like to know all about how my children conducted themselves. I would hope that the lessons that my wife and I taught them were being lived and practiced. Rest assured that, if your child is a Marine, he/she will remember what you have taught them---the Corps will make sure they practice it!

CAS3
05-04-06, 11:37 AM
Just an opinion...
Does anyone else's opinion of your son matter? Isn't your opinion of him what matters the most?
As for him being a Marine, well, I have known people that should not have been Marines and were eventually weeded out of the Corps. For those that remain, they are always Marines first which goes without saying that they are honest, proud, respectful, patriotic and have excellent morals. The fact that your son became a Marine says more about you than you know.

Good question, glad you brought it up.
Colleen

redneck13
05-04-06, 12:07 PM
:flag: I've had to in my Career as a Marine make decision's based upon another Marine under my command, small it may have been, performance. Not like a PFT, or rifle range, pistol range scores but, in general living up to the standards we Marines all lived by, worked by. Some just didn't quite cut the mustard. They weren't "BAD" Marine's, I have never considered any Marine a "BAD" Marine. They just weren't quite what the Corps expected. And some that were if you will, "BORDER LINE." Meaning if they didn't get with the program, they wouldn't get promoted or receive any other "CREDIT'S" on their behalf from the Corps. All of it was based upon their quarterly review's. Like, 4.0 for appearance, 2.5 for job related things. It became very difficult at times to have to bring in a "MARGINAL" Marine and explain why he didn't get promoted, or he needed to do this or that. His peers would also give you clue as to how they perceived this Marine. Then I had some that were excellent in every "GRADING" PERIOD!. They kept the "STANDARD'S, TRADITION'S" of what being a Marine was all about.
Your Son's peer's hopefully if you would ever want to know from them, as in my case in recent year's I found out a lot about myself as a Marine by talking to some of my old "RUNNING" Marines. And some that just flat didn't like me.
I was told on several occassion's that I could've done, should've done, mighta have done just a little better in this or that.
I also think that a Marine really knows deep down if they were up to snuf, by Marine Corps standards, if they were "great, good, fair, or I just skated thru and got out. Your Son being a Marine, just ask him, ask him to grade himself. And don't hedge or cop out to what he really thinks he was, is, or could've been.
Just my opinion.....It's always better to go right to the horses mouth I've found, that way you get the real skinny. I hope I've helped you some. It is a good topic, and very interesting because it makes me stop and think of some things I could've done better. Transposed now into my life as a civilian/Marine.....SF

Osotogary
05-04-06, 12:27 PM
Cas3- "Isn't your opinion of him what matters the most?"
Absolutely, Colleen. But I believe it is just human nature to want to hear what others might say...wether you believe what is said or not.

"I hope I've helped you some."
Yes you have, wind'nface, just as all of you have. You've helped not only me but anyone else that might have bopped bye to take a peek.

You Texans are sure coming across with some good prairie common sense.

Range Coach
05-04-06, 01:19 PM
It's not prairie sense---it's Marine sense. Every man (human being) has five senses---sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. A Marine has two more--horse and common.

quillhill
05-04-06, 02:16 PM
My father in law has had no problem just flat out asking my brother in law's first sergeant what kind of Airman he is, but that's the kind of guy my father in law is, but he's also a veteran who served four years in the Air Force. But, I know it's in an effort to understand how things are going with the kid and understand what his life in the Air Force is like.

If it were me, being a nosy reporter, I don't think it would be too hard. I asked a Sergeant who knows LCpl Seeley probably five or six questions about Seeley via e-mail and I got a novel back (no surprise considering the subject). I suspect you would get the same kind of responses about your son. Just ask what's on your mind, um tactfully, of course, heh.