bygone recollections

[wrbones]

Bygone recollections

One of my bygone recollections,
As I recall the days of yore,
Is the little house behind the house,
With the crescent o'er the door.
'Twas a place to sit and ponder
With your head bowed down low;
Knowing that you wouldn't be there,
If you didn't have to go.

Ours was a three-holer,
With a size for every one.
You left there feeling better,
After your usual job was done.
You had to make these frequent trips
Whether snow, rain, sleet or fog --
To the little house where you usually
Found the Sears-Roebuck catalog.

Oft times in dead of winter,
The seat was covered with snow.
Twas then with much reluctance,
To the little house you'd go.
With a swish you'd clear the seat,
Bend low, with dreadful fear,
You'd blink your eyes and grit your teeth
As you settled on your rear.

I recall the day that Granddad,
Who stayed with us one summer,
Made a trip to the shanty
which proved to be a hummer.
'Twas the same day my Dad
Finished painting the kitchen green.
He'd just cleaned up the mess he'd made
With rags and gasoline.
He tossed the rags in the shanty hole
And went on his usual way,
Not knowing that by doing so
He would eventually rue the day.

Now Granddad had an urgent call,
I never will forget!
This trip he made to the little house
Lingers in my memory yet.
He sat down on the shanty seat,
With both feet on the floor.
Then filled his pipe with tobacco
And struck a match on the outhouse door.
After the tobacco began to glow,
He slowly raised his rear,
Tossed the flaming match in the open hole
With not a sign of fear.

The Blast that followed, I am sure,
Was heard for miles around;
And there was poor ol' Granddad
Just a'sittin' on the ground.
The smoldering pipe was in his mouth,
His suspenders he held tight;
The celebrated three-holer
Was blown clear out of sight.

When we asked him what had happened,
His answer I'll never forget.
He thought it must be something
That he had recently et!

Next day we had a new one
Which my Dad built with ease,
With a sign on the entrance door
Which read: No Smoking, Please!"
Now that's the end of the story,
With memories of long ago,
Of the little house behind the house,
Where we went 'cause we had to go!

(unknown)

[SHOOTER1]

Grew up in Iowa using one of those, only a two seater tho, wonder why, who would go in when someone was using it, and yes the Sears catologs, toward the end of the usage, only the color pages left, i still hate colored pages in them, even tho i dont use them anymore.

[wrbones]

I gew up in Illlinois and South Dakota using outhouses.

The reason fer different size 'holes' was fer different size butts! Not to be used at the same time. Some fancier outhouses had up to five different sized holes. Others were quite well insulated and even had electric lights! Sometimes with electric heaters! Running a couple of wires and buyin' an electric heater was much cheaper than re-modeling an old house.

For those who don't know, outhouses were generally some distance from the house itself, especially some distance from the well! That made for a long walk at night in cold weather! Ya usually saw a 'dead spot' in the yard somewhere around most homes as many of us who **** while standing made use of other options.....

Also, fer older folks and little kids the 'chamber pot' was still in use. With some, the chamber pot slid under the seat of a chair, so you could be kinda comfortable when ya had to go. Thus came the phrase "**** or get off the pot." I'm sure you can imagine why!

My parents didn't get indoor plumbing til a couple years after I was in the Corps.

I remember digging holes for outhouses on several ocassions when I was younger. Moving the outhouse to a new hole could be a job fer several men if a tractor wasn't handy.

Outhouses are generally outlawed in most parts of the country, and homes have been built with bathrooms have been around for some time now.....the EPA has strict requirements for septic systems for those who don't have access to 'city water' and sewage systems.

I've said all this for the younger folks of course.

Some of us still remember....

[firstsgtmike]

The wild, wild west, is NOT dead.

Here is a clip from Today's Manila Inquirer newspaper:

"Thinking customer Jason Talo was about to speed off without paying his bill at the Queensland Motel, security guard Jorge Mahilot opened fire at Talo, who was about to board his car."

American Express, Don't leave home without it.

[wrbones]

So....the Old West just moved a little farther west is all......

Puts a whole new twist on personal accountability don't it?

LMAO

[Earle Comstock]

I'm from upstate New York , my great grandmother and my grand mother , same side of family had outhouses. Can't remember if they were two or three holers. I do remember in the winter time, I would wait til my two sisters went out in the morning to warm up the seat. You could tell which one was used by the steam. I wasn't no dummy. Cpl Comstock