thedrifter
03-19-06, 08:08 AM
ASK AMY
Sunday, March 19, 2006; D02
Dear Amy:
My 19-year-old son, a U.S. Marine, is serving in Iraq.
At times I will share some stories from my son with friends or close co-workers. I'm careful about what I share.
I hate it when someone says, "Well, remember he chose to join, no one forced him. He's there because he wants to be."
My son joined the Marines because he wanted to support his country. Did he know the risks of going to war? Of course he did, but it didn't stop him from joining. Because he defends our country, you can enjoy the freedoms we have.
One of my co-workers has a husband who is an alcoholic. I would never listen to her tell me about his latest ailment and say to her, "Well, you know he chooses to drink; no one forced him to." Did this husband know the risks of alcohol? Probably.
It makes me cringe when I hear folks talk this way. It feels like a slap in the face.
Please help me with a quick and not too smirky comeback to these know-it-alls.
Sleep well, America, because my son has your back. He is a Marine.
Proud Marine Mom
First of all, you need to drop the comparison of your son to an alcoholic. I understand your basic point, but choosing to serve in the military is not an affliction.
People have very conflicting viewpoints on this war and our country's role in it. Some may not feel that your son is defending America's freedom by serving in Iraq, because many Americans wonder what the Iraqis did to us to warrant our military presence there. But what I think everyone can agree on is that members of the armed forces are serving America. Men and women who volunteer for the armed forces do not choose where they get sent. They serve how and where they are told to serve.
I hope that you get the support that you need from people who understand where you are coming from. I did an Internet search and found a terrific Web site, www.militarymoms.net . Moms of service members can share stories, fears and -- yes -- comebacks.
If I were in your situation, when people said, "Well, your son chose to join the Marines," I would pause, meet their gaze, and say, "You're welcome."
Semper Fi!
Dear Amy:
My friend and her husband will be in town for one week this summer to attend a conference at a nearby hotel, which is where they will be staying. We live in a Southern city.
We are close friends and have known each other since college. We share personal stories with each other, but there is one thing about her that worries me. She does not use deodorant. She smells quite bad but doesn't seem to know it.
I fear that the summer heat will make it worse for me to be around her. Unfortunately, I just don't know how to let her know that she needs to use something. Any advice?
Concerned Friend
Whenever I have covered this sticky topic, people write in to say that there is no substitute for the truth, delivered nicely and accompanied by the right product.
You might say, "Sandy, you're not going to believe how hot and yucky it can get here this time of year. I bought some deodorant for you. It's the kind I use and I swear by it. We all use industrial strength down here."
She might say, "Oh, I don't use deodorant," and you can say, "Well, you should. Everybody should use it, if you ask me, because even if we can't smell ourselves, others can always smell us."
Write to Amy Dickinson ataskamy@tribune.comor Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Ellie
Sunday, March 19, 2006; D02
Dear Amy:
My 19-year-old son, a U.S. Marine, is serving in Iraq.
At times I will share some stories from my son with friends or close co-workers. I'm careful about what I share.
I hate it when someone says, "Well, remember he chose to join, no one forced him. He's there because he wants to be."
My son joined the Marines because he wanted to support his country. Did he know the risks of going to war? Of course he did, but it didn't stop him from joining. Because he defends our country, you can enjoy the freedoms we have.
One of my co-workers has a husband who is an alcoholic. I would never listen to her tell me about his latest ailment and say to her, "Well, you know he chooses to drink; no one forced him to." Did this husband know the risks of alcohol? Probably.
It makes me cringe when I hear folks talk this way. It feels like a slap in the face.
Please help me with a quick and not too smirky comeback to these know-it-alls.
Sleep well, America, because my son has your back. He is a Marine.
Proud Marine Mom
First of all, you need to drop the comparison of your son to an alcoholic. I understand your basic point, but choosing to serve in the military is not an affliction.
People have very conflicting viewpoints on this war and our country's role in it. Some may not feel that your son is defending America's freedom by serving in Iraq, because many Americans wonder what the Iraqis did to us to warrant our military presence there. But what I think everyone can agree on is that members of the armed forces are serving America. Men and women who volunteer for the armed forces do not choose where they get sent. They serve how and where they are told to serve.
I hope that you get the support that you need from people who understand where you are coming from. I did an Internet search and found a terrific Web site, www.militarymoms.net . Moms of service members can share stories, fears and -- yes -- comebacks.
If I were in your situation, when people said, "Well, your son chose to join the Marines," I would pause, meet their gaze, and say, "You're welcome."
Semper Fi!
Dear Amy:
My friend and her husband will be in town for one week this summer to attend a conference at a nearby hotel, which is where they will be staying. We live in a Southern city.
We are close friends and have known each other since college. We share personal stories with each other, but there is one thing about her that worries me. She does not use deodorant. She smells quite bad but doesn't seem to know it.
I fear that the summer heat will make it worse for me to be around her. Unfortunately, I just don't know how to let her know that she needs to use something. Any advice?
Concerned Friend
Whenever I have covered this sticky topic, people write in to say that there is no substitute for the truth, delivered nicely and accompanied by the right product.
You might say, "Sandy, you're not going to believe how hot and yucky it can get here this time of year. I bought some deodorant for you. It's the kind I use and I swear by it. We all use industrial strength down here."
She might say, "Oh, I don't use deodorant," and you can say, "Well, you should. Everybody should use it, if you ask me, because even if we can't smell ourselves, others can always smell us."
Write to Amy Dickinson ataskamy@tribune.comor Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Ellie