View Full Version : i need some advice
hunter06
02-28-06, 09:51 AM
ok im really stumped and dont know what to do. we pt every tuesday and thursday night for a couple hours. i have been bringing this 14 year old that is in one of my classes. he is convinced that he wants to be a marine and i was all for at first. but now im realizing that he is extrmeley imature and that he has no heart for it. he has been coming for about a month and a half now and is not improving or even trying. he has no motivation at all and when i try to get him to keep going and give it is all he tells me that he cant or something hurts. i dont know if i should stop bringing him or what. what do you guys think? thanks
VaMarine
02-28-06, 10:29 AM
Keep bringing him..
At 14 we all were immature.. shoot at 24 I think i was still immature.. its one of those things...
He needs some guidance and if hes getting it from Role Models like your recruiter and the rest of the guys then he will work it all out.. If it keeps him off drugs out of the street world of causing trouble let him stick around... He will wisen up.. and even doing 1.5 miles twice a week sooner or later he'll make it to the 3 mile.. Idea if you wanna start getting him motivated.. find a female that is willing to PT with you all.. Im pretty sure he will keep up then.. no one wants to look bad infront of a woman..
LCplLake
02-28-06, 02:15 PM
ok im really stumped and dont know what to do. we pt every tuesday and thursday night for a couple hours. i have been bringing this 14 year old that is in one of my classes. he is convinced that he wants to be a marine and i was all for at first. but now im realizing that he is extrmeley imature and that he has no heart for it. he has been coming for about a month and a half now and is not improving or even trying. he has no motivation at all and when i try to get him to keep going and give it is all he tells me that he cant or something hurts. i dont know if i should stop bringing him or what. what do you guys think? thanks
Stop bringing him. Hes 14 years old, if this is what he really wants to do, then 4 years from now, he'll still enlist. Its a good thought on your part - wanting to help him out, but it benefits you zilch to keep dragging him along. And right now, your thoughts and energy need to be focused on recruit training.
Hes just too young.. if he was 16 i'd say keep taking him. But hes got 4 more years.. he has his entire highschool career ahead of him. A lot can change in those 4 years...
-Lake
when i was 15 i told a former Marine that that's what i was doing. he laughed and said, "you've got a while to decide." granted, i wanted to join the Air Force in high school. :rolls eyes:
hunter06
02-28-06, 10:16 PM
yea i just got back from pt a little bit ago and i did bring him tonight. and again he gave no effort at all. i think im going to talk to him in school tomoro and tell him that im thinking about not bringing him no more because of his lack of effort. i just dont want to crush or dreams of becoming a Marine or anything like that. that is true that he is still very young and has alot of time until he can enlist so he might change his mind. but thanks for all your thoughts and opinions
Static_Sky25
02-28-06, 10:52 PM
yea i just got back from pt a little bit ago and i did bring him tonight. and again he gave no effort at all. i think im going to talk to him in school tomoro and tell him that im thinking about not bringing him no more because of his lack of effort. i just dont want to crush or dreams of becoming a Marine or anything like that. that is true that he is still very young and has alot of time until he can enlist so he might change his mind. but thanks for all your thoughts and opinions
was in a similar situation when I was younger... me n the kid got in a fight and weren't friends anymore... fell into the wrong crowd and got myself intosome trouble.... long story short if you can keep him interested at least a little in the Marines, he will or won't get MOTO and if not... you did your all.
i think you should explain your point of view to him. tell him that he needs to try harder, otherwise you won't keep bringing him because the Marines is all about giving your all. tell him that before you just flat-out drop him.
hunter06
03-01-06, 08:39 AM
yea thats true ill talk to him thanks
hunter06
03-01-06, 02:10 PM
yea i talked to him and he told me his is trying to do his best but tomoro (thursday) we pt again so he told me he is really going to try. so we'll see what happens
VaMarine
03-01-06, 03:14 PM
I'm a little surprised at the responces in here.. Since when does a Marine ever leave a buddy behind?? If you aren't willing to help a friend out when you aren't in combat, I don't see you being willing to help a Marine out when you are..
The morals that bind us are formed in the normal day to day life that you live.. they are hardened in combat.
But right now the poolees that have responded with tell him to take a hike need to look deep down inside and consider what you just said and think back to when you were in his shoes.. would you want to be told the same thing...
I'm not sure I would want to be sitting in a fighting position next to you.. I'd wonder if you would ensure that one way or another I made it home..
Shadowman777
03-01-06, 04:13 PM
I'm a little surprised at the responces in here.. Since when does a Marine ever leave a buddy behind?? If you aren't willing to help a friend out when you aren't in combat, I don't see you being willing to help a Marine out when you are..
The morals that bind us are formed in the normal day to day life that you live.. they are hardened in combat.
But right now the poolees that have responded with tell him to take a hike need to look deep down inside and consider what you just said and think back to when you were in his shoes.. would you want to be told the same thing...
I'm not sure I would want to be sitting in a fighting position next to you.. I'd wonder if you would ensure that one way or another I made it home..
Yeah, but VA - these guys aren't Marines yet. The Corps will teach them those qualities. When they have been through the fire, then they'll be ready.
I gotta tell ya that their motivation is admirable. I only joined the Corps in '79 because I was mad at my own lack of discipline, and joined the Corps because I heard they were the toughest. These are young people who can't join yet, yet are living their lives to join the Marine Corps. I think that is outstanding - and all kudos to you guys!
scopekill27
03-01-06, 04:20 PM
Right on VAMARINE,
Listen up,
You need to keep your head in the game son. You got this boy interested right? You have even been taking him to your P.T. sessions, right? It sounds to me like this young buck looks up to YOU!!! Why wouldn't you go out of your way to help him on his journey?!!!
I understand that you are preparing for your own battle now, But NEVER forget the men that will follow you into battle, when you are a Sgt. he may be your Pvt................. So my advice is to hold the coarse, finish what you have started and if he wants to quit it will not be held against you, you will have done your best!!!!
Good luck and godspeed,
Shadowman777
03-01-06, 05:20 PM
Right on VAMARINE,
Listen up,
You need to keep your head in the game son. You got this boy interested right? You have even been taking him to your P.T. sessions, right? It sounds to me like this young buck looks up to YOU!!! Why wouldn't you go out of your way to help him on his journey?!!!
I understand that you are preparing for your own battle now, But NEVER forget the men that will follow you into battle, when you are a Sgt. he may be your Pvt................. So my advice is to hold the coarse, finish what you have started and if he wants to quit it will not be held against you, you will have done your best!!!!
Good luck and godspeed,
Sheez - now all the hardcores are coming out of the woodwork. I wonder just how "gung-ho" you guys were **prior** to boot. I think "zero" but what do I know? I just know to keep it REAL!
Hunter, you are doing well. The work you are doing is great - and hell - I admire you for it. I just get a real spur in my butt about those expect you to "act like a Marine" when you haven't even been through boot camp yet. Some would call it "motivation." I call it unreal expectations, and a delusional view of how they were **before** they entered boot camp. But that is just my view.
Kudos Hunter.
Steve
VaMarine
03-01-06, 06:09 PM
Shadowman...
I believe I am keeping it real and trying to make the connection of outside the world to the inside world..
As well a Marine told them to drop him.. thats not the way its supposed to go..
Now prior to joining i did 4 years of JROTC, and a Explorer with the fire department.. The Marine Corps didnt teach me the mentality of never leave a man behind.. I learned that way before them.. I believe my point was clear.. Im disappointed that a Marine would tell someone to turn his back on someone..
As well I'm disappointed that the poolees didnt see the need to "waste" time on the 14 year old.. Had the recruiter not felt like wasting his time on them where would they be?? Not heading to Marine Corps Boot Camp... Just what goes around comes around.. thats all...
scopekill27
03-01-06, 07:17 PM
"Sheez - now all the hardcores are coming out of the woodwork. I wonder just how "gung-ho" you guys were **prior** to boot. I think "zero" but what do I know? I just know to keep it REAL!"
This recruit asked for advice, (in a open forum I might add) where we as Marines have a duty to give him/her the best possible advice we can muster.:o I believe that every recruit will have there own oppinion on this matter, but I also believe that as Marines we have been taught to generally see the same view on at least a few topics!
One of those topics VaMarine brought up and I agreeded with ( never leave a man behind). I am not questioning your judgement and never will but surely you can see our point of view as well having spilled blood in the same mud.
If I am out of line I appologize, but will not appologize for my oppinions:o
ehogan4
03-02-06, 02:05 PM
Keep bringing him.. Why?
I assume you brought him along because he was a friend or has become one. A Friend is always valuable and worth the effort.
All of us have different starting points in our journey to the physical and mental strength required to become a Marine, his test is years ahead of him but it's never to early to begin training, for either of you.
As you help him, you are also developing some other skills that will serve you well as a Marine in the future. Leadership for one, you will have opportunities to lead from your first days in boot camp (as a squad leader or guide) to your last day in the Corps as an NCO or Staff NCO or even and Officer if that's where your journey takes you. You may as well start now learing how to train and motivate someone to follow your example. That means maybe some extra training time spent with him doing things at his pace, once you find out what that is, you can push him to do just a little extra each time you meet.
VAMarine is correct, cardinal tenants of the Marine Corps are that you never leave a man behind and you always let your Marines eat or get supplies ahead of you if you,re in charge. You will develop these skills to varying degree later, but again, it's never to early to start.
In fact, from your first day in boot camp, your drill instructors will be looking for leadership traits, just as they are looking for all your other strenghs and weaknesses. Why? because they want to help you improve where you are weak, just like you are trying to do for your friend. Another truism, all Marines have heard and you will too, "a platoon is only as fast as it's slowest man." And, my personal favorite "the more you sweat in peace the less you bleed in war."
Now, you will be leaving him behind soon, but he will always remember your friendship and kindness. Some day, maybe by the time he can enlist, you will be a Sgt, maybe on recruiting duty in your home town, what a feather in your cap to be his recruiter, or attend his graduation from boot camp, or just exchange a letter with him from time to time.
If he dosen't enter the Marines later on, he will still have a good word for us as an organization and that serves us all well. We Marines stick together like family, you will soon learn that for yourself. Working as a team in combat is vital, we all get that. But what is really unique about the Marines is that we stick together in peace time as well, it's that battle tested character that this shared experience, some call shared pain, that makes us the Band of Brothers.
I know I have rambled on, and some of this is beyond your question. But the sooner you begin to see the bigger picture of the Marine Corps and the "Why" of what we do, not just the "How" the better off you'll be, the easier the journey will become, and answers to questions like these will be just common sense to you.
Hope that helps you out little Brother to be! Good luck, go to boot camp and kick butt and earn the title so we can all call you "Marine" too.
Semper Fi
GySgt "H" USMC (Ret.)
Clawson, MI
Whoa, a lot of brotherhood being thrown at you here, Hunter. Many of the things that have been directed to you here I would dare say you will not truely understand or fully grasp until you succeed in earning the title "Marine" and have spend a sort time out in the Fleet. The Lt., the Gunny, and all the others who have replied to your post are Marines, proud of it and more than willing to share that pride with anyone interested. We are family, can you tell. I have been separated from the Corps for more than 30 years and it is still in my blood, my heart and my soul.
But hey, all you wanted to know was should you keep your friend attending training. My opinion, yes, for as long as he will go. It gives him something to do, something to belong to. But I do think that once you ship out to boot camp, he will stop attending because you, his friend, will not be there anymore. But until then, plant the seed. As he matures, it may sproud, then again, maybe not. In any case, he experienced something he most likely never would have if not for you.
Good luck at boot camp.
Tim S.
Former Cpl. USMC
hunter06
03-02-06, 08:48 PM
thanks to everyone's post. i am going to continue to bring him. i can know see that he does look up to me in a way and that makes me feel good. i cant wait until i am part of the family. and mabye one day when this kid does decide to enlist i will be able to attend his graduation knowing that i helped in guiding him the right way.
LCplLake
03-02-06, 08:59 PM
Hes young, he has time. Part of being a Marine is pushing YOURSELF. You cant do the work for him. Simple as that... you go to MCRD soon. Focus on your future.. trying to motivate someone else is a nice thought. But is this kid going to Iraq with you? Is he gonna be in a fighting hole with you? If he was in bootcamp, SOI, or the fleet with you - then its another story. But this is a young kid.. barely a teenager that we're talking about. Helping him out has nothing to do with acting like a Marine, or showing leadership. Again, your intentions are great - but in this situation, you need to focus on yourself, preparing YOURSELF for MCRD and becoming a Marine. Not trying to prepare a young kid, who is more then likely gonna change his mind about his future 500 times in the next 4 years. Just my insight..
To the Marines bickering like old women.. to each his own. Our opinions will differ on almost every question brought up these boards - taking shots at someone else because of their opinion on something is not only a sign of lack of leadership.. but its pretty lame. Wouldnt wanna be in a fighting hole next to me? Brotherhood at its best...
Semper Fi..
-Lake
hunter06
03-02-06, 09:10 PM
yes he is young and his decision is up to him. i dont want that to be on me. if he wants to quit he can do it on his own. im not doing any work for him either, all im doing is simply giving him a ride there. but while we are PTing i should be more focused on myself rather then worrying on what he is doing. thanks
Collins
03-03-06, 12:26 PM
yea i just got back from pt a little bit ago and i did bring him tonight. and again he gave no effort at all. i think im going to talk to him in school tomoro and tell him that im thinking about not bringing him no more because of his lack of effort. i just dont want to crush or dreams of becoming a Marine or anything like that. that is true that he is still very young and has alot of time until he can enlist so he might change his mind. but thanks for all your thoughts and opinions
Y'know, if you be hard on him, that just might get'm motivated. When I was a junior and the recruiters showed up, I was reluctant to talk to 'em. But I mustered up the balls and made the best decision of my life that day. One of the best motivating things I have been told has been, "you'll fail" or "you can't make it in the marines." Because when I come back in my class A's, all those boners are gonna get a proverbial slap in the face!
Collins
03-03-06, 12:33 PM
whoa, that did NOT come out like I'd hoped. Don't tell him he can't do it per se, but just tell him if he isn't gonna try that he needs to find a different PT buddy. Because nothing boggs you down worse than a slacker as a battle-buddy. Gunny, well put. all I can say is very, very well put
From my view here on Memory Lane . . . my PE Teacher in high school laughed in my face and spent a year bustin' my chops when I told him I was joining the Corps. At the time, the military (any flavor) was not popular as a career choice. The brother of a friend of mine was in the Corps; I talked to him, he wore my butt out, then spent some time with me. I was like hunter's little buddy...98 pound weakling and couldn't run a mile for love or money. I never turned into a physical specimen but I never did less than a First Class PFT. If I hadn't had a "Rabbi" I might have let jerks like the PE God convince me I couldn't hack it. I remembered all of that when I was a Recruiter and I didn't lose many.
Kidd916
03-03-06, 04:21 PM
i agree with VaMarine...i believe that you should bring him and not leave him behind. i also agree on his idea of the woman thing....it IS true, noone wants to look bad infront of girls. But i would try and talk to him, explain that once he does get to boot, the simple "this hurts" or "im tired" or "i cant" WILL NOT WORK. i mean, if hes 14 and he does pt with you guys, he has to have "some" determination?
Shadowman777
03-03-06, 10:04 PM
This recruit asked for advice, (in a open forum I might add) where we as Marines have a duty to give him/her the best possible advice we can muster.:o I believe that every recruit will have there own oppinion on this matter, but I also believe that as Marines we have been taught to generally see the same view on at least a few topics!
One of those topics VaMarine brought up and I agreeded with ( never leave a man behind). I am not questioning your judgement and never will but surely you can see our point of view as well having spilled blood in the same mud.
If I am out of line I appologize, but will not appologize for my oppinions:o
You are right. My apologises Scope. I was out of line in trying to judge one's motivation. I stand corrected.
All the best -
Steve
scopekill27
03-04-06, 01:34 PM
No need to appologize, Never had bad blood with anyone here yet, we all just get riled up sometimes!!!:evilgrin:
Your Brother in Battle,
Lt. Hood
I had a friend whose son was always dreaming of being a Marine. He lived for that thought most of his childhood. His Dad and I were with the 4th Marine Air Wing at Glenview, Ill. when it was still there as an active base. We took him to every event that the Marines had and he idolized the Corps all the way through High School. He wasn't very big or strong but tried his best to make himself better. When the time came for him to go to San Diego he left for Boot but he never quite made it. His dreams were distroyed by not becoming a Marine but we never stopped giving him the encouragement to do his best even though eventually it did not work out. I would never discourage a prospect to keep trying. Let him continue to go with you, you may be surprised in the end.:marine:
mrsjones
03-04-06, 04:03 PM
i think that it is a good thing for you to keep bringing him maybe he will get his head on straight and start trying even more.
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