thedrifter
02-07-06, 08:47 AM
Military families rejoice when their loved ones return home and they celebrate the holidays together. Then, the struggle of daily life sets in.
Published Tuesday February 7 2006
Story by LORI YOUNT
The Beaufort Gazette
Christmas came twice for Master Sgt. Rick Bobrowski's family. Santa came again the night of Jan. 25, when Bobrowski returned from a six-month deployment in Japan.
"It felt like Christmas," said Brittany Boettcher, Bobrowski's 16-year-old step-daughter. "It didn't feel like I missed out on anything" over the holidays.
With a series of homecomings from late January to early February, the holidays are coming late to families at the Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort who spent December with a loved one deployed overseas. But once home, family members and Marines have to learn to adjust to new domestic routines.
Although the Christmas decorations were taken down less than a week after his return, Bobrowski found joy in staying home all day watching his children Matthew, 3, and Julia, 2, roll around on the living room floor and letting his wife, Nancy, sleep in.
"It's nice to have someone to share the chaos," Nancy Bobrowski said.
The families of those Marines deployed in Iraq since August and expected to return in mid- and late February are squirming with the anticipation akin to Christmas Eve.
Regena Cooper, clinical counseling services branch head for all three Beaufort County bases, said families must realize the homecoming is a time of transition and a process after the Marine has been in an adrenaline-filled job for months.
The first meeting on the tarmac is exciting, but "when the suitcases are unpacked, the reality of coming back to a family" sets in, she said.
Vicki Howe has spent the time of the second deployment of her husband, Staff Sgt. Scott Howe, to Iraq traveling the country -- Louisiana, Missouri and New York -- to see family and friends. However, she is anxious to take a trip with her husband when he returns by the end of February. Vicki said she just let herself start the countdown Wednesday, and she hopes to have a few surprise gifts ready for her husband when he returns.
She feels confident in readjusting to having her husband home after months by herself because he came home from Iraq in 2003, too, but she's a little nervous because this time she was a lot more comfortable with her independent schedule.
"I have my schedule," the kindergarten teacher said. "It's going to be hard. I'll have to tell myself I don't have to do it" in the first days when she gets to spend time with Scott since August.
Although homecomings are often filled with joy, just as the holidays, they can also be stressful in the disruption of the daily routines.
"There's a little nervousness, as, well, wow, am I going to know how to act and respond?" Tanesia Belvin said, who spent the holidays in Michigan with family with her 1-year-old daughter Lynnesia.
Her husband, Sgt. Lamont Belvin, is scheduled to return home in about a week, and Tanesia Belvin is busy hiding gifts around the house for him.
"I'm focused on him coming home," she said, with the energetic "Lynn" squirming in her arms and standing up with the support of the couch. "I want him to be overjoyed."
Most of her anxiety comes from the reuniting of her husband and Lynn, who haven't seen each other since she was 7 months old, she said. She shows Lynn videos and photos of her father because when he was gone a period of a few weeks before his deployment, she didn't exactly welcome him home.
"She would just cry and cry" when he got close to Lynn, she said. "It kind of hurt his feelings, but in a day and a half they were fine."
Actually, Tanesia Belvin said she's preparing herself to be ignored by Lynn when her father is home because that's what friends told her happened to them.
Cooper said it's difficult for Marines to come back to babies they haven't had the chance to grow with during the deployment.
"It's giving yourself permission to recognize that you don't know this child," she said.
Family counseling, either clinical or through schools or the Chaplain Corps, can help with this readjustment, Cooper said.
Rick Bobrowski said it's been a challenge to readjust to his family. When he returned, suddenly Brittany was driving a car, Matthew was practicing his writing skills sharpened by long-distance correspondence with his father and Julia was talking up a storm.
"I've got to get used to the noise," Rick Bobrowski said, as Brittany is tumbled with the riled toddlers. "I'm re-acclimating to them.
Accustomed to assuming some adult chores, Brittany got up from the floor and offered to start making dinner, pancakes and eggs. She said she's glad her dad's home to reassume duties like taking out the trash.
"She's been a huge, huge help" during his deployment, Nancy said, tears creeping into her eyes.
Matthew and Julia offered to help by setting the table, where they no longer have to watch photos flip across the computer screen to catch a glimpse of their father, as they did just weeks ago.
"OK, five forks," Nancy reminded Julia.
Published Tuesday February 7 2006
Story by LORI YOUNT
The Beaufort Gazette
Christmas came twice for Master Sgt. Rick Bobrowski's family. Santa came again the night of Jan. 25, when Bobrowski returned from a six-month deployment in Japan.
"It felt like Christmas," said Brittany Boettcher, Bobrowski's 16-year-old step-daughter. "It didn't feel like I missed out on anything" over the holidays.
With a series of homecomings from late January to early February, the holidays are coming late to families at the Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort who spent December with a loved one deployed overseas. But once home, family members and Marines have to learn to adjust to new domestic routines.
Although the Christmas decorations were taken down less than a week after his return, Bobrowski found joy in staying home all day watching his children Matthew, 3, and Julia, 2, roll around on the living room floor and letting his wife, Nancy, sleep in.
"It's nice to have someone to share the chaos," Nancy Bobrowski said.
The families of those Marines deployed in Iraq since August and expected to return in mid- and late February are squirming with the anticipation akin to Christmas Eve.
Regena Cooper, clinical counseling services branch head for all three Beaufort County bases, said families must realize the homecoming is a time of transition and a process after the Marine has been in an adrenaline-filled job for months.
The first meeting on the tarmac is exciting, but "when the suitcases are unpacked, the reality of coming back to a family" sets in, she said.
Vicki Howe has spent the time of the second deployment of her husband, Staff Sgt. Scott Howe, to Iraq traveling the country -- Louisiana, Missouri and New York -- to see family and friends. However, she is anxious to take a trip with her husband when he returns by the end of February. Vicki said she just let herself start the countdown Wednesday, and she hopes to have a few surprise gifts ready for her husband when he returns.
She feels confident in readjusting to having her husband home after months by herself because he came home from Iraq in 2003, too, but she's a little nervous because this time she was a lot more comfortable with her independent schedule.
"I have my schedule," the kindergarten teacher said. "It's going to be hard. I'll have to tell myself I don't have to do it" in the first days when she gets to spend time with Scott since August.
Although homecomings are often filled with joy, just as the holidays, they can also be stressful in the disruption of the daily routines.
"There's a little nervousness, as, well, wow, am I going to know how to act and respond?" Tanesia Belvin said, who spent the holidays in Michigan with family with her 1-year-old daughter Lynnesia.
Her husband, Sgt. Lamont Belvin, is scheduled to return home in about a week, and Tanesia Belvin is busy hiding gifts around the house for him.
"I'm focused on him coming home," she said, with the energetic "Lynn" squirming in her arms and standing up with the support of the couch. "I want him to be overjoyed."
Most of her anxiety comes from the reuniting of her husband and Lynn, who haven't seen each other since she was 7 months old, she said. She shows Lynn videos and photos of her father because when he was gone a period of a few weeks before his deployment, she didn't exactly welcome him home.
"She would just cry and cry" when he got close to Lynn, she said. "It kind of hurt his feelings, but in a day and a half they were fine."
Actually, Tanesia Belvin said she's preparing herself to be ignored by Lynn when her father is home because that's what friends told her happened to them.
Cooper said it's difficult for Marines to come back to babies they haven't had the chance to grow with during the deployment.
"It's giving yourself permission to recognize that you don't know this child," she said.
Family counseling, either clinical or through schools or the Chaplain Corps, can help with this readjustment, Cooper said.
Rick Bobrowski said it's been a challenge to readjust to his family. When he returned, suddenly Brittany was driving a car, Matthew was practicing his writing skills sharpened by long-distance correspondence with his father and Julia was talking up a storm.
"I've got to get used to the noise," Rick Bobrowski said, as Brittany is tumbled with the riled toddlers. "I'm re-acclimating to them.
Accustomed to assuming some adult chores, Brittany got up from the floor and offered to start making dinner, pancakes and eggs. She said she's glad her dad's home to reassume duties like taking out the trash.
"She's been a huge, huge help" during his deployment, Nancy said, tears creeping into her eyes.
Matthew and Julia offered to help by setting the table, where they no longer have to watch photos flip across the computer screen to catch a glimpse of their father, as they did just weeks ago.
"OK, five forks," Nancy reminded Julia.