thedrifter
01-23-06, 06:23 AM
Monday, January 23, 2006
Marines To Congress "Bite This"
1/23/2006 - Shelby Trial
Fluffy is a blonde 6lb. female Maltese currently assigned to the 7th Marine Division K9 unit serving in the Iraq Anbar province. Recently she assisted the Marines in the capture of 21 insurgents. Fluffy's handler, CPL Brian Sunland said, "Congress thought they were going to screw us again with their 'kinder/gentler' war bull**** when they sent us Fluffy. "They forget that Marines have a history of making men out of boys and we used that same training regimen on Fluffy", said Sgt. Sunland.
Evidently it works. Marine combat reports show that Fluffy has assisted in the elimination or capture of 65 insurgents since she completed her training in October 2005. "She's a fighter", said a rugged looking Marine. "She may not be the biggest dog in this fight but this little ***** can take care of herself. If she gets a hold on you, then brother your going down", said another Marine.
To save money spent on dog food, frustrated anti-war members of Congress are threatening to send the Marines Chihuahuas to replace their existing large breed K9 corps. The unit's Gunnery Sergeant proudly told me, "I'd rather have just one them 'Yo quiero, taco bell' dogs then 50 of them 'pendejo' congressmen. At least dogs are loyal." "They can send us a gerbil and we'll train it to do night recon. Send us a goldfish and we'll train it to think it's a piranha", said another Marine
The Marines don't care what kind of K9 they get next as long as it's a male. Said one Marine, "Nothing against female dogs, it's just that Fluffy's a lady when she's not on duty and it's hard for her to lift her hind leg to **** on the media or a visiting member from Congress."
Ellie
Marines To Congress "Bite This"
1/23/2006 - Shelby Trial
Fluffy is a blonde 6lb. female Maltese currently assigned to the 7th Marine Division K9 unit serving in the Iraq Anbar province. Recently she assisted the Marines in the capture of 21 insurgents. Fluffy's handler, CPL Brian Sunland said, "Congress thought they were going to screw us again with their 'kinder/gentler' war bull**** when they sent us Fluffy. "They forget that Marines have a history of making men out of boys and we used that same training regimen on Fluffy", said Sgt. Sunland.
Evidently it works. Marine combat reports show that Fluffy has assisted in the elimination or capture of 65 insurgents since she completed her training in October 2005. "She's a fighter", said a rugged looking Marine. "She may not be the biggest dog in this fight but this little ***** can take care of herself. If she gets a hold on you, then brother your going down", said another Marine.
To save money spent on dog food, frustrated anti-war members of Congress are threatening to send the Marines Chihuahuas to replace their existing large breed K9 corps. The unit's Gunnery Sergeant proudly told me, "I'd rather have just one them 'Yo quiero, taco bell' dogs then 50 of them 'pendejo' congressmen. At least dogs are loyal." "They can send us a gerbil and we'll train it to do night recon. Send us a goldfish and we'll train it to think it's a piranha", said another Marine
The Marines don't care what kind of K9 they get next as long as it's a male. Said one Marine, "Nothing against female dogs, it's just that Fluffy's a lady when she's not on duty and it's hard for her to lift her hind leg to **** on the media or a visiting member from Congress."
Ellie