thedrifter
12-31-05, 07:08 PM
Liberal Loonies - 2005 Edition
Dustin Hawkins Dec. 31, 2005
The Liberal Loonies represents the one time of the year when
liberals get all of the “praise” and recognition that they truly
deserve.
Husband of the Year: Michael Schiavo. For having his wife
starved to death, despite promising to take care of her for the
rest of her life in trying to get a big fat court settlement, Schiavo
receives the prestigious ‘Husband of the Year’ award. In
addition to refusing to divorce Terri and allow her parents to
care for her, Schiavo went on to have an out-of-wedlock affair
that produced two children and his and hers Mercedes, had her
body cremated despite her religious Catholic following, and, to
throw salt on the wound, recently announced the launch of
“Terri Pac.”
Jane Fonda Award for Anti-Americanism: Cindy Sheehan. For
dragging her brave son’s name through a dirty, nasty, self-
serving, Anti-American protest against President Bush and the
U.S. Armed Forces, Cindy “oh-God-that-voice” Sheehan
captures the JFAAA. She even released a book and “toured” in
Spain. Cindy gets bonus points for accusing the National Guard
of holding an illegal occupation in New Orleans post-hurricane.
Jane Fonda-Wannabe Award for Anti-Americanism: Jane
Fonda. Inspired by Cindy Sheehan’s anti-war popularity, Jane
Fonda tried to live up to, well, herself, and become as hated as
she was back during the Vietnam War. Unfortunately with
Hussein no longer in power, Fonda had no friendly tanks to
hoist herself onto and her anti-war campaign was a failure.
The “non-profit” of the Year: Planned Parenthood. For their
commitment to “family values” and for the liberal-pleasing
slaughter of hundreds-of-thousands of “clusters of cells” in the
name of “reproductive health matters”, Planned Parenthood is
without a doubt the non-profit of the year. Unfortunately for
young teenage girls across America, the organization has run
out of “I had an Abortion” t-shirts.
Liberal Business Model of the Year: Air America. For hijacking
$850,000 from a taxpayer-funded Boys and Girls Club, having
to resort to NPR-like fund-raising to stay on air, and for
maintaining their 7 nation-wide listeners, Air America is by far
the biggest liberal business success story of the year. In
addition, the liberal talkers made many “hilarious” suggestions
that various members of the Bush administration be either shot
or “put to death.” Also, with a spokeswoman like Janeane
Garafalo, how can you be a loser?
Republican Strategist of the Year: Howard Dean. By not getting
the presidential nomination in 2004, Howard Dean was instead
awarded the chairmanship of the DNC and quickly earned his
pins as one of the GOP’s best strategists. When liberal
Democrats have to tell their party head to shut up, you know
things are definitely looking up for them in 2006.
Faker of the year: Hillary Clinton. While this has nothing to do
with her husband Bill – we want to know nothing about that,
thank you – Hillary Clinton takes home the award for Faker of
the Year. Proving that she is easily the smartest man in the
Democratic Party, Clinton has managed to be the moderate
voice about Iraq and many other issues in her plans for the
White House. Indeed, the JFAAA award-winner Sheehan even
opposes her.
To all our winners, Holly-weirdoes, politicians, and “friends” of
the left, we hope your next year will be as successful as the last.
Trust me, we all need the laughs.
Dustin Hawkins is the Editor of Capitol Hill Journal. His columns are
archived at www.dustinmhawkins.com and he can be reached at
dustinmhawkins@yahoo.com.
Ellie
Dustin Hawkins Dec. 31, 2005
The Liberal Loonies represents the one time of the year when
liberals get all of the “praise” and recognition that they truly
deserve.
Husband of the Year: Michael Schiavo. For having his wife
starved to death, despite promising to take care of her for the
rest of her life in trying to get a big fat court settlement, Schiavo
receives the prestigious ‘Husband of the Year’ award. In
addition to refusing to divorce Terri and allow her parents to
care for her, Schiavo went on to have an out-of-wedlock affair
that produced two children and his and hers Mercedes, had her
body cremated despite her religious Catholic following, and, to
throw salt on the wound, recently announced the launch of
“Terri Pac.”
Jane Fonda Award for Anti-Americanism: Cindy Sheehan. For
dragging her brave son’s name through a dirty, nasty, self-
serving, Anti-American protest against President Bush and the
U.S. Armed Forces, Cindy “oh-God-that-voice” Sheehan
captures the JFAAA. She even released a book and “toured” in
Spain. Cindy gets bonus points for accusing the National Guard
of holding an illegal occupation in New Orleans post-hurricane.
Jane Fonda-Wannabe Award for Anti-Americanism: Jane
Fonda. Inspired by Cindy Sheehan’s anti-war popularity, Jane
Fonda tried to live up to, well, herself, and become as hated as
she was back during the Vietnam War. Unfortunately with
Hussein no longer in power, Fonda had no friendly tanks to
hoist herself onto and her anti-war campaign was a failure.
The “non-profit” of the Year: Planned Parenthood. For their
commitment to “family values” and for the liberal-pleasing
slaughter of hundreds-of-thousands of “clusters of cells” in the
name of “reproductive health matters”, Planned Parenthood is
without a doubt the non-profit of the year. Unfortunately for
young teenage girls across America, the organization has run
out of “I had an Abortion” t-shirts.
Liberal Business Model of the Year: Air America. For hijacking
$850,000 from a taxpayer-funded Boys and Girls Club, having
to resort to NPR-like fund-raising to stay on air, and for
maintaining their 7 nation-wide listeners, Air America is by far
the biggest liberal business success story of the year. In
addition, the liberal talkers made many “hilarious” suggestions
that various members of the Bush administration be either shot
or “put to death.” Also, with a spokeswoman like Janeane
Garafalo, how can you be a loser?
Republican Strategist of the Year: Howard Dean. By not getting
the presidential nomination in 2004, Howard Dean was instead
awarded the chairmanship of the DNC and quickly earned his
pins as one of the GOP’s best strategists. When liberal
Democrats have to tell their party head to shut up, you know
things are definitely looking up for them in 2006.
Faker of the year: Hillary Clinton. While this has nothing to do
with her husband Bill – we want to know nothing about that,
thank you – Hillary Clinton takes home the award for Faker of
the Year. Proving that she is easily the smartest man in the
Democratic Party, Clinton has managed to be the moderate
voice about Iraq and many other issues in her plans for the
White House. Indeed, the JFAAA award-winner Sheehan even
opposes her.
To all our winners, Holly-weirdoes, politicians, and “friends” of
the left, we hope your next year will be as successful as the last.
Trust me, we all need the laughs.
Dustin Hawkins is the Editor of Capitol Hill Journal. His columns are
archived at www.dustinmhawkins.com and he can be reached at
dustinmhawkins@yahoo.com.
Ellie