thedrifter
10-31-05, 07:07 AM
One man's boundless devotion to family, friends, fellow Marines
Posted by the Asbury Park Press on 10/31/05
BY MICHAEL AMSEL
STAFF WRITER
Penelope Stechmann peered into the eyes of Ben and Stacey Sammis after they had just exchanged marriage vows in a Sept. 2, 2000, ceremony, and noticed the sparkle of love. She had married numerous couples as pastor of the Lutheran Church of Reformation in West Long Branch, and seen countless expressions of joy and devotion.
But this one was different.
"Professionally, I just knew this was one wedding that was made in heaven," said Stechmann. "It was meant to be, a guaranteed union. One that would last 60, 70 years."
Today, Stacey Sammis maintains a fierce, deep-rooted love for her husband, but it is in spirit only. Tragically, Marine Capt. Benjamin W. Sammis was killed on April 4, 2003, when a Super Cobra attack helicopter he was piloting crashed during a combat mission 30 miles southeast of Baghdad, according to the Marine Corps.
He was 29 years old.
Sammis, of Rehoboth, Mass., was buried with military honors in Arlington National Cemetery after a funeral service at the Fort Myers chapel in Virginia. Stacey has moved to Alexandria, Va., near where the couple first met in 1997, in order to be close to her husband.
"Ben always used to kid me that if he died first he wanted to be buried in New Jersey so he could be close to me," said Stacey, a speech pathologist for the Arlington, Va., public schools. "When I found out he was going to be buried at Arlington, I said, "I'm going there, too.' "
Over two years have passed since Ben's death, but Stacey, now 32, still struggles to make some sense of it — to understand how someone so young, so gifted, so dedicated to others could have his life end so tragically. Stacey visits Ben's grave twice a month, a ritual she says allows her to "connect with him in a peaceful, tranquil way."
It is only when she goes with other people that raw emotions spill out.
"I took a friend who had never been to Arlington before, and when we got to Ben's grave it all spilled out, again," said Stacey, a West Long Branch native. "Those are the hardest moments for me."
Ben developed a love affair with planes when he was 10 years old, and dreamed of one day becoming a Marine, Stacey said. His dream became reality in May 1996 when he was commissioned a second lieutenant.
In January 2003, Sammis was deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He had been in combat for 16 days when the Cobra attack helicopter he was piloting became exposed to an enemy ground attack and he responded with fire, according to Capt. Aaron Marx, a friend and fellow Marine.
"There are Marines alive today because of his actions," Marx said.
Stacey Sammis said she takes a measure of solace from the manner in which Ben died.
"He died doing what he loved," she said. "He wanted to be there. He wanted to put into practice what he had learned, and he wanted to help the people of Iraq. That does bring some comfort."
Joyce Dancisin, Stacey's mother, said she could tell from the very start that Ben was a special person.
"When I met him, I said to Penny (Stechmann), "This is the one,' " said Dancisin, of Avon. "The way he treated my daughter was the way every mother would want her daughter treated. He was kind, considerate and very loving. His focus was always on Stacey. I knew his job was dangerous, but . . . I knew he was a good man."
Four memorial services were held for Sammis, including one at Lutheran Church of Reformation in West Long Branch, where Ben and Stacey were married.
Stechmann called Sammis a "true officer and gentleman," and said he possessed a great sense of humor. She recalled a Christmas celebration at Stacey's parents' home in Avon to illustrate his compassion.
"There was Ben, the warrior, on the floor playing with our 5-year-old son Tim (Pusateri), who has Down syndrome," said Stechmann. "He was tickling him, able to relate to him immediately. He noticed this was a child who needed attention, and he gave it to him."
In a ceremony held in May 2003 at Rehoboth, Mass., Steve Sammis told of the pain he felt in losing his son.
"My heart aches and my body has a wound that will never heal," he said. "I know today I am not alone. There are so many people who share my very same wound."
Stacey said the outpouring of love for Ben at the memorial services, and the support she received during that "absolutely horrible time," is something she will never forget.
"Each service was packed. There were people there that I hadn't seen in years, and there were complete strangers," Stacey said. "I got letters, cards, flowers from people I didn't know, some from as far away as Colorado. You have to remember that the war had just begun back then and everyone was on pins and needles. They desperately wanted to do something to honor Ben."
Stacey gathered her emotions for a moment and added, "Knowing that so many people loved Ben and were there to support me is heartwarming. I just hope that today's soldiers get that kind of support when they come home."
Arlington National Cemetery after a funeral service at the Fort Myers chapel in Virginia. Stacey has moved to Alexandria, Va., near where the couple first met in 1997, in order to be close to her husband.
"Ben always used to kid me that if he died first he wanted to be buried in New Jersey so he could be close to me," said Stacey, a speech pathologist for the Arlington, Va., public schools. "When I found out he was going to be buried at Arlington, I said, "I'm going there, too.' "
More than two years have passed since Ben's death, but Stacey, now 32, still struggles to make some sense of it — to understand how someone so young, so gifted, so dedicated to others could have his life end so tragically. Stacey visits Ben's grave twice a month, a ritual she says allows her to "connect with him in a peaceful, tranquil way."
It is only when she goes with other people that raw emotions spill out.
"I took a friend who had never been to Arlington before, and when we got to Ben's grave it all spilled out, again," said Stacey, a West Long Branch native. "Those are the hardest moments for me."
Ben developed a love affair with planes when he was 10 years old, and dreamed of one day becoming a Marine, Stacey said. His dream became reality in May 1996 when he was commissioned a second lieutenant.
In January 2003, Sammis was deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He had been in combat for 16 days when the Cobra attack helicopter he was piloting became exposed to an enemy ground attack, and he responded with fire, according to Capt. Aaron Marx, a friend and fellow Marine.
"There are Marines alive today because of his actions," Marx said.
Stacey Sammis said she takes a measure of solace from the manner in which Ben died.
"He died doing what he loved," she said. "He wanted to be there. He wanted to put into practice what he had learned, and he wanted to help the people of Iraq. That does bring some comfort."
Joyce Dancisin, Stacey's mother, said she could tell from the very start that Ben was a special person.
"When I met him, I said to Penny (Stechmann), "This is the one,' " said Dancisin, of Avon. "The way he treated my daughter was the way every mother would want her daughter treated. He was kind, considerate and very loving. His focus was always on Stacey. I knew his job was dangerous, but . . . I knew he was a good man."
Four memorial services were held for Sammis, including one at Lutheran Church of Reformation in West Long Branch, where Ben and Stacey were married.
Stechmann called Sammis a "true officer and gentleman," and said he possessed a great sense of humor. She recalled a Christmas celebration at Stacey's parents' home in Avon to illustrate his compassion.
"There was Ben, the warrior, on the floor playing with our 5-year-old son Tim (Pusateri), who has Down syndrome," Stechmann said. "He was tickling him, able to relate to him immediately. He noticed this was a child who needed attention, and he gave it to him."
In a ceremony held in May 2003 at Rehoboth, Mass., Steve Sammis told of the pain he felt in losing his son.
"My heart aches and my body has a wound that will never heal," he said. "I know today I am not alone. There are so many people who share my very same wound."
Stacey said the outpouring of love for Ben at the memorial services, and the support she received during that "absolutely horrible time," is something she will never forget.
"Each service was packed. There were people there that I hadn't seen in years, and there were complete strangers," Stacey said. "I got letters, cards, flowers from people I didn't know, some from as far away as Colorado. You have to remember that the war had just begun back then and everyone was on pins and needles. They desperately wanted to do something to honor Ben."
Stacey gathered her emotions for a moment and added, "Knowing that so many people loved Ben and were there to support me is heartwarming. I just hope that today's soldiers get that kind of support when they come home."
Arlington National Cemetery after a funeral service at the Fort Myers chapel in Virginia. Stacey has moved to Alexandria, Va., near where the couple first met in 1997, in order to be close to her husband.
"Ben always used to kid me that if he died first he wanted to be buried in New Jersey so he could be close to me," said Stacey, a speech pathologist for the Arlington, Va., public schools. "When I found out he was going to be buried at Arlington, I said, "I'm going there, too.' "
More than two years have passed since Ben's death, but Stacey, now 32, still struggles to make some sense of it — to understand how someone so young, so gifted, so dedicated to others could have his life end so tragically. Stacey visits Ben's grave twice a month, a ritual she says allows her to "connect with him in a peaceful, tranquil way."
It is only when she goes with other people that raw emotions spill out.
"I took a friend who had never been to Arlington before, and when we got to Ben's grave it all spilled out, again," said Stacey, a West Long Branch native. "Those are the hardest moments for me."
Ben developed a love affair with planes when he was 10 years old, and dreamed of one day becoming a Marine, Stacey said. His dream became reality in May 1996 when he was commissioned a second lieutenant.
In January 2003, Sammis was deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He had been in combat for 16 days when the Cobra attack helicopter he was piloting became exposed to an enemy ground attack, and he responded with fire, according to Capt. Aaron Marx, a friend and fellow Marine.
"There are Marines alive today because of his actions," Marx said.
Stacey Sammis said she takes a measure of solace from the manner in which Ben died.
"He died doing what he loved," she said. "He wanted to be there. He wanted to put into practice what he had learned, and he wanted to help the people of Iraq. That does bring some comfort."
Joyce Dancisin, Stacey's mother, said she could tell from the very start that Ben was a special person.
"When I met him, I said to Penny (Stechmann), "This is the one,' " said Dancisin, of Avon. "The way he treated my daughter was the way every mother would want her daughter treated. He was kind, considerate and very loving. His focus was always on Stacey. I knew his job was dangerous, but . . . I knew he was a good man."
Four memorial services were held for Sammis, including one at Lutheran Church of Reformation in West Long Branch, where Ben and Stacey were married.
Stechmann called Sammis a "true officer and gentleman," and said he possessed a great sense of humor. She recalled a Christmas celebration at Stacey's parents' home in Avon to illustrate his compassion.
"There was Ben, the warrior, on the floor playing with our 5-year-old son Tim (Pusateri), who has Down syndrome," Stechmann said. "He was tickling him, able to relate to him immediately. He noticed this was a child who needed attention, and he gave it to him."
In a ceremony held in May 2003 at Rehoboth, Mass., Steve Sammis told of the pain he felt in losing his son.
"My heart aches and my body has a wound that will never heal," he said. "I know today I am not alone. There are so many people who share my very same wound."
Stacey said the outpouring of love for Ben at the memorial services, and the support she received during that "absolutely horrible time," is something she will never forget.
"Each service was packed. There were people there that I hadn't seen in years, and there were complete strangers," Stacey said. "I got letters, cards, flowers from people I didn't know, some from as far away as Colorado. You have to remember that the war had just begun back then and everyone was on pins and needles. They desperately wanted to do something to honor Ben."
Stacey gathered her emotions for a moment and added, "Knowing that so many people loved Ben and were there to support me is heartwarming. I just hope that today's soldiers get that kind of support when they come home."
This story contains material provided by Arlington National Cemetery.
Ellie
Posted by the Asbury Park Press on 10/31/05
BY MICHAEL AMSEL
STAFF WRITER
Penelope Stechmann peered into the eyes of Ben and Stacey Sammis after they had just exchanged marriage vows in a Sept. 2, 2000, ceremony, and noticed the sparkle of love. She had married numerous couples as pastor of the Lutheran Church of Reformation in West Long Branch, and seen countless expressions of joy and devotion.
But this one was different.
"Professionally, I just knew this was one wedding that was made in heaven," said Stechmann. "It was meant to be, a guaranteed union. One that would last 60, 70 years."
Today, Stacey Sammis maintains a fierce, deep-rooted love for her husband, but it is in spirit only. Tragically, Marine Capt. Benjamin W. Sammis was killed on April 4, 2003, when a Super Cobra attack helicopter he was piloting crashed during a combat mission 30 miles southeast of Baghdad, according to the Marine Corps.
He was 29 years old.
Sammis, of Rehoboth, Mass., was buried with military honors in Arlington National Cemetery after a funeral service at the Fort Myers chapel in Virginia. Stacey has moved to Alexandria, Va., near where the couple first met in 1997, in order to be close to her husband.
"Ben always used to kid me that if he died first he wanted to be buried in New Jersey so he could be close to me," said Stacey, a speech pathologist for the Arlington, Va., public schools. "When I found out he was going to be buried at Arlington, I said, "I'm going there, too.' "
Over two years have passed since Ben's death, but Stacey, now 32, still struggles to make some sense of it — to understand how someone so young, so gifted, so dedicated to others could have his life end so tragically. Stacey visits Ben's grave twice a month, a ritual she says allows her to "connect with him in a peaceful, tranquil way."
It is only when she goes with other people that raw emotions spill out.
"I took a friend who had never been to Arlington before, and when we got to Ben's grave it all spilled out, again," said Stacey, a West Long Branch native. "Those are the hardest moments for me."
Ben developed a love affair with planes when he was 10 years old, and dreamed of one day becoming a Marine, Stacey said. His dream became reality in May 1996 when he was commissioned a second lieutenant.
In January 2003, Sammis was deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He had been in combat for 16 days when the Cobra attack helicopter he was piloting became exposed to an enemy ground attack and he responded with fire, according to Capt. Aaron Marx, a friend and fellow Marine.
"There are Marines alive today because of his actions," Marx said.
Stacey Sammis said she takes a measure of solace from the manner in which Ben died.
"He died doing what he loved," she said. "He wanted to be there. He wanted to put into practice what he had learned, and he wanted to help the people of Iraq. That does bring some comfort."
Joyce Dancisin, Stacey's mother, said she could tell from the very start that Ben was a special person.
"When I met him, I said to Penny (Stechmann), "This is the one,' " said Dancisin, of Avon. "The way he treated my daughter was the way every mother would want her daughter treated. He was kind, considerate and very loving. His focus was always on Stacey. I knew his job was dangerous, but . . . I knew he was a good man."
Four memorial services were held for Sammis, including one at Lutheran Church of Reformation in West Long Branch, where Ben and Stacey were married.
Stechmann called Sammis a "true officer and gentleman," and said he possessed a great sense of humor. She recalled a Christmas celebration at Stacey's parents' home in Avon to illustrate his compassion.
"There was Ben, the warrior, on the floor playing with our 5-year-old son Tim (Pusateri), who has Down syndrome," said Stechmann. "He was tickling him, able to relate to him immediately. He noticed this was a child who needed attention, and he gave it to him."
In a ceremony held in May 2003 at Rehoboth, Mass., Steve Sammis told of the pain he felt in losing his son.
"My heart aches and my body has a wound that will never heal," he said. "I know today I am not alone. There are so many people who share my very same wound."
Stacey said the outpouring of love for Ben at the memorial services, and the support she received during that "absolutely horrible time," is something she will never forget.
"Each service was packed. There were people there that I hadn't seen in years, and there were complete strangers," Stacey said. "I got letters, cards, flowers from people I didn't know, some from as far away as Colorado. You have to remember that the war had just begun back then and everyone was on pins and needles. They desperately wanted to do something to honor Ben."
Stacey gathered her emotions for a moment and added, "Knowing that so many people loved Ben and were there to support me is heartwarming. I just hope that today's soldiers get that kind of support when they come home."
Arlington National Cemetery after a funeral service at the Fort Myers chapel in Virginia. Stacey has moved to Alexandria, Va., near where the couple first met in 1997, in order to be close to her husband.
"Ben always used to kid me that if he died first he wanted to be buried in New Jersey so he could be close to me," said Stacey, a speech pathologist for the Arlington, Va., public schools. "When I found out he was going to be buried at Arlington, I said, "I'm going there, too.' "
More than two years have passed since Ben's death, but Stacey, now 32, still struggles to make some sense of it — to understand how someone so young, so gifted, so dedicated to others could have his life end so tragically. Stacey visits Ben's grave twice a month, a ritual she says allows her to "connect with him in a peaceful, tranquil way."
It is only when she goes with other people that raw emotions spill out.
"I took a friend who had never been to Arlington before, and when we got to Ben's grave it all spilled out, again," said Stacey, a West Long Branch native. "Those are the hardest moments for me."
Ben developed a love affair with planes when he was 10 years old, and dreamed of one day becoming a Marine, Stacey said. His dream became reality in May 1996 when he was commissioned a second lieutenant.
In January 2003, Sammis was deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He had been in combat for 16 days when the Cobra attack helicopter he was piloting became exposed to an enemy ground attack, and he responded with fire, according to Capt. Aaron Marx, a friend and fellow Marine.
"There are Marines alive today because of his actions," Marx said.
Stacey Sammis said she takes a measure of solace from the manner in which Ben died.
"He died doing what he loved," she said. "He wanted to be there. He wanted to put into practice what he had learned, and he wanted to help the people of Iraq. That does bring some comfort."
Joyce Dancisin, Stacey's mother, said she could tell from the very start that Ben was a special person.
"When I met him, I said to Penny (Stechmann), "This is the one,' " said Dancisin, of Avon. "The way he treated my daughter was the way every mother would want her daughter treated. He was kind, considerate and very loving. His focus was always on Stacey. I knew his job was dangerous, but . . . I knew he was a good man."
Four memorial services were held for Sammis, including one at Lutheran Church of Reformation in West Long Branch, where Ben and Stacey were married.
Stechmann called Sammis a "true officer and gentleman," and said he possessed a great sense of humor. She recalled a Christmas celebration at Stacey's parents' home in Avon to illustrate his compassion.
"There was Ben, the warrior, on the floor playing with our 5-year-old son Tim (Pusateri), who has Down syndrome," Stechmann said. "He was tickling him, able to relate to him immediately. He noticed this was a child who needed attention, and he gave it to him."
In a ceremony held in May 2003 at Rehoboth, Mass., Steve Sammis told of the pain he felt in losing his son.
"My heart aches and my body has a wound that will never heal," he said. "I know today I am not alone. There are so many people who share my very same wound."
Stacey said the outpouring of love for Ben at the memorial services, and the support she received during that "absolutely horrible time," is something she will never forget.
"Each service was packed. There were people there that I hadn't seen in years, and there were complete strangers," Stacey said. "I got letters, cards, flowers from people I didn't know, some from as far away as Colorado. You have to remember that the war had just begun back then and everyone was on pins and needles. They desperately wanted to do something to honor Ben."
Stacey gathered her emotions for a moment and added, "Knowing that so many people loved Ben and were there to support me is heartwarming. I just hope that today's soldiers get that kind of support when they come home."
Arlington National Cemetery after a funeral service at the Fort Myers chapel in Virginia. Stacey has moved to Alexandria, Va., near where the couple first met in 1997, in order to be close to her husband.
"Ben always used to kid me that if he died first he wanted to be buried in New Jersey so he could be close to me," said Stacey, a speech pathologist for the Arlington, Va., public schools. "When I found out he was going to be buried at Arlington, I said, "I'm going there, too.' "
More than two years have passed since Ben's death, but Stacey, now 32, still struggles to make some sense of it — to understand how someone so young, so gifted, so dedicated to others could have his life end so tragically. Stacey visits Ben's grave twice a month, a ritual she says allows her to "connect with him in a peaceful, tranquil way."
It is only when she goes with other people that raw emotions spill out.
"I took a friend who had never been to Arlington before, and when we got to Ben's grave it all spilled out, again," said Stacey, a West Long Branch native. "Those are the hardest moments for me."
Ben developed a love affair with planes when he was 10 years old, and dreamed of one day becoming a Marine, Stacey said. His dream became reality in May 1996 when he was commissioned a second lieutenant.
In January 2003, Sammis was deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He had been in combat for 16 days when the Cobra attack helicopter he was piloting became exposed to an enemy ground attack, and he responded with fire, according to Capt. Aaron Marx, a friend and fellow Marine.
"There are Marines alive today because of his actions," Marx said.
Stacey Sammis said she takes a measure of solace from the manner in which Ben died.
"He died doing what he loved," she said. "He wanted to be there. He wanted to put into practice what he had learned, and he wanted to help the people of Iraq. That does bring some comfort."
Joyce Dancisin, Stacey's mother, said she could tell from the very start that Ben was a special person.
"When I met him, I said to Penny (Stechmann), "This is the one,' " said Dancisin, of Avon. "The way he treated my daughter was the way every mother would want her daughter treated. He was kind, considerate and very loving. His focus was always on Stacey. I knew his job was dangerous, but . . . I knew he was a good man."
Four memorial services were held for Sammis, including one at Lutheran Church of Reformation in West Long Branch, where Ben and Stacey were married.
Stechmann called Sammis a "true officer and gentleman," and said he possessed a great sense of humor. She recalled a Christmas celebration at Stacey's parents' home in Avon to illustrate his compassion.
"There was Ben, the warrior, on the floor playing with our 5-year-old son Tim (Pusateri), who has Down syndrome," Stechmann said. "He was tickling him, able to relate to him immediately. He noticed this was a child who needed attention, and he gave it to him."
In a ceremony held in May 2003 at Rehoboth, Mass., Steve Sammis told of the pain he felt in losing his son.
"My heart aches and my body has a wound that will never heal," he said. "I know today I am not alone. There are so many people who share my very same wound."
Stacey said the outpouring of love for Ben at the memorial services, and the support she received during that "absolutely horrible time," is something she will never forget.
"Each service was packed. There were people there that I hadn't seen in years, and there were complete strangers," Stacey said. "I got letters, cards, flowers from people I didn't know, some from as far away as Colorado. You have to remember that the war had just begun back then and everyone was on pins and needles. They desperately wanted to do something to honor Ben."
Stacey gathered her emotions for a moment and added, "Knowing that so many people loved Ben and were there to support me is heartwarming. I just hope that today's soldiers get that kind of support when they come home."
This story contains material provided by Arlington National Cemetery.
Ellie