thedrifter
10-11-05, 06:30 AM
Is It Too Late to Go to War For Oil?
by Matthew Holmes
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I never thought I’d hear myself say, “Self, I wish the liberals had been right,” but I’ve got to admit they were on to something when they thought President Bush was taking us to war for oil.
As it turns out, War For Oil, like privatizing Social Security, cutting government spending, and nominating originalists to the Supreme Court, was merely a beautiful dream and nothing more.
But now that liberal Democrats are fighting against a bill that—in response to Hurricanes Katrina and Rita—would allow the construction of the first new American oil refineries in 30 years, I am resurrecting the idea of War For Oil.
The United States has not constructed a new refinery since 1976. In 1981, the United States had 325 refineries capable of producing 18.6 million barrels of “Texas Tea” per day. Today, according to an Associated Press report, there is fewer than half that number of refineries, producing only 16.9 million barrels daily.
Obviously, demand for oil is higher now than in 1981, meaning that the US has been forced to import more oil to make up the difference in supply and demand. While research and development on alternative fuel sources continues, the fact remains that most of these alternatives can’t outrun my neighbor’s Moped, making them impractical options.
I do not propose War For Oil lightly, or without recognizing the consequences of such a war (more money to spend on X-Box games), nor do I need Karl Rove-like cronies to advise me on the benefits and drawbacks of War For Oil.
After all, my Ann Coulter doll—I mean, action figure—is always happy to explain the benefits of a war for oil. In a language even Ted Kennedy at his drunkest (or as I refer to it, Tuesday) can understand, my action figure says: “Why not fight a war for oil, we need oil!”
She has a point, you know.
Think of the powerful recruiting tool the military could have if they modified their slogan to read: “Be An Army of One…and only pay 99 cents for a gallon of premium unleaded.”
Call cheap oil a fringe benefit of liberating two countries, killing thousands of terrorists whose only purpose in life is to blow up your families, and protecting and defending the Constitution of the United States. It’s the least the government can do for military families worldwide.
Secondly, the President has nothing to lose politically. His enemies on the Left are already quite certain that this war is for oil. The fact that oil prices are at record highs means little to liberals—these are the same people who believe sucking the brain out of a partially born child does not constitute the death of a human being.
Needless to say, basic logic and reasoning skills are not liberal strong suits. But if you ever need a snappy slogan (i.e. “Bush Lied, Children Died,” “Keep your hands out of my Womb,” or the latest, “No Oil Man Left Behind,”) call the New York Times, or consult your local Planned Parenthood center.
By now, any liberal reading this that has not thrown their computer out of a window are either sneering over the need to build more hybrid cars or angrily chanting “Halliburton! Halliburton! Halliburton!”
To them, I would say this. Until you can make a hybrid vehicle that looks and sounds like a Corvette (or at least has more horsepower than my lawnmower), then it’s time to build more oil refineries, drill for black gold in ANWR, and quit letting the same liberals who blame Bush for high gas prices dictate America’s energy policy.
Help us Jed Clampett, you’re our only hope.
About the Writer: Matthew Holmes is a North Carolina-based columnist. His articles have been featured in the North Carolina Conservative, ChronWatch, World Net Daily, NewsMax, Opinion Editorials, and other media outlets. He can be reached at blade729@msn.com or on the web at Wildfire Politics www.wildfirepolitics.com.
Ellie
by Matthew Holmes
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I never thought I’d hear myself say, “Self, I wish the liberals had been right,” but I’ve got to admit they were on to something when they thought President Bush was taking us to war for oil.
As it turns out, War For Oil, like privatizing Social Security, cutting government spending, and nominating originalists to the Supreme Court, was merely a beautiful dream and nothing more.
But now that liberal Democrats are fighting against a bill that—in response to Hurricanes Katrina and Rita—would allow the construction of the first new American oil refineries in 30 years, I am resurrecting the idea of War For Oil.
The United States has not constructed a new refinery since 1976. In 1981, the United States had 325 refineries capable of producing 18.6 million barrels of “Texas Tea” per day. Today, according to an Associated Press report, there is fewer than half that number of refineries, producing only 16.9 million barrels daily.
Obviously, demand for oil is higher now than in 1981, meaning that the US has been forced to import more oil to make up the difference in supply and demand. While research and development on alternative fuel sources continues, the fact remains that most of these alternatives can’t outrun my neighbor’s Moped, making them impractical options.
I do not propose War For Oil lightly, or without recognizing the consequences of such a war (more money to spend on X-Box games), nor do I need Karl Rove-like cronies to advise me on the benefits and drawbacks of War For Oil.
After all, my Ann Coulter doll—I mean, action figure—is always happy to explain the benefits of a war for oil. In a language even Ted Kennedy at his drunkest (or as I refer to it, Tuesday) can understand, my action figure says: “Why not fight a war for oil, we need oil!”
She has a point, you know.
Think of the powerful recruiting tool the military could have if they modified their slogan to read: “Be An Army of One…and only pay 99 cents for a gallon of premium unleaded.”
Call cheap oil a fringe benefit of liberating two countries, killing thousands of terrorists whose only purpose in life is to blow up your families, and protecting and defending the Constitution of the United States. It’s the least the government can do for military families worldwide.
Secondly, the President has nothing to lose politically. His enemies on the Left are already quite certain that this war is for oil. The fact that oil prices are at record highs means little to liberals—these are the same people who believe sucking the brain out of a partially born child does not constitute the death of a human being.
Needless to say, basic logic and reasoning skills are not liberal strong suits. But if you ever need a snappy slogan (i.e. “Bush Lied, Children Died,” “Keep your hands out of my Womb,” or the latest, “No Oil Man Left Behind,”) call the New York Times, or consult your local Planned Parenthood center.
By now, any liberal reading this that has not thrown their computer out of a window are either sneering over the need to build more hybrid cars or angrily chanting “Halliburton! Halliburton! Halliburton!”
To them, I would say this. Until you can make a hybrid vehicle that looks and sounds like a Corvette (or at least has more horsepower than my lawnmower), then it’s time to build more oil refineries, drill for black gold in ANWR, and quit letting the same liberals who blame Bush for high gas prices dictate America’s energy policy.
Help us Jed Clampett, you’re our only hope.
About the Writer: Matthew Holmes is a North Carolina-based columnist. His articles have been featured in the North Carolina Conservative, ChronWatch, World Net Daily, NewsMax, Opinion Editorials, and other media outlets. He can be reached at blade729@msn.com or on the web at Wildfire Politics www.wildfirepolitics.com.
Ellie