thedrifter
09-20-05, 06:04 AM
Proud Marine says fatherhood will be his toughest mission
By Matthew D. LaPlante
The Salt Lake Tribune
Salt Lake Tribune
CAMP RAMADI, Iraq - He has never seen his 1-month-old son. Not even in a picture. With all the moving about a Marine does in the last month of his tour, the mail just hasn't caught up.
In seven months, Ryan Webb's first deployment to Iraq has brought with it mortar attacks, roadside bombs, sniper fire - and the loss of four friends. The Riverton native knows there is little chance that he will get through the remainder of his enlistment without having to come back here. But that's not what worries him.
It's late in the evening. The young lance corporal is standing next to the steps of the camp chapel. A few other servicemen mull about following the service. He shifts his M-16 from one hand to the other. He speaks slowly about being a parent to the son he doesn't know.
"I had a good father, good parents, and the example that they set for me is going to be something that is going to be more difficult to live up to than the life of a Marine in combat," Webb says. "It's hard out here, but I think real life is more difficult than it is out here. And to be able to make sure that my son grows into a good person is going to be more difficult than leading Marines."
Being away from home for such a long time is burden enough for most, but being separated from children adds extra weight. "We want to get in there and be part of them, you know," says Capt. Gaylan Springer, chaplain for the 222nd Field Artillery from Utah, at least seven members of which have had children since the unit deployed. "I think every one of us here with children feels we're not being a good enough father because we're not there."
For his part, Webb is having trouble even feeling like a father, let alone a good one.
"For me, he's still not a real thing," he says. "He wasn't there when I was going. My wife wasn't even really showing."
Webb met his wife, Kristina, at a dance at Trolley Square early in 2004. He was preparing for boot camp. She liked that he was going to be a Marine.
Only when their relationship became serious did she contemplate how his military service might greatly alter their family life.
"I said 'Oh, wait, now I have to be a military wife,' " recalls Kristina Webb, who now lives in Carlsbad, Calif.
The couple married in August 2004. Rowan Webb was born about a year later, on Aug. 18.
Ryan Webb was on patrol when Rowan was born. Kristina was induced into labor, so she could have her baby with her parents by her side. The American Red Cross was expected to contact Webb in Ramadi with the news. Instead, he found out when he called his wife the next day.
While the conversation started with surprise and confusion, it ended with a flurry of joyful questions. He wanted to know how the delivery went, who was there, how his baby looked.
He was happier than he'd ever been. And sadder. He wanted to be there, but instead settled for helping name his son through e-mail from Iraq. Kristina Webb and family have seen much of Ryan in Rowan.
"He has pretty much everything from his father. He has Ryan's eyes and ears and Ryan's lips," Kristina Webb said. "The only thing he got from me is my nose - the poor thing."
She described their child as "very mellow."
"If he is awake he is content, and he only really cries when he is hungry," she said. "My mother-in-law told me Ryan was the same way."
She knows she has "it very easy" now, but recalls the heavy anxiety she felt before giving birth.
"I always had dreams that he was going to come home early and surprise me and then my anxiety would go away," Kristina Webb said. "But then I would wake up."
Ryan Webb should get his first chance at hands-on fathering when his tour ends and he returns home in the middle of next week.
Reporter Matthew D. LaPlante and photographer Rick Egan are traveling in Iraq with Utah-based military units. Daily online dispatches, including additional information about, and photographs of, the troops with whom they are assigned, may be found at www.sltrib.com/iraq.
You may reach LaPlante and Egan at iraq@sltrib.com.
Reporter Matt Canham contributed to this story.
Ellie
By Matthew D. LaPlante
The Salt Lake Tribune
Salt Lake Tribune
CAMP RAMADI, Iraq - He has never seen his 1-month-old son. Not even in a picture. With all the moving about a Marine does in the last month of his tour, the mail just hasn't caught up.
In seven months, Ryan Webb's first deployment to Iraq has brought with it mortar attacks, roadside bombs, sniper fire - and the loss of four friends. The Riverton native knows there is little chance that he will get through the remainder of his enlistment without having to come back here. But that's not what worries him.
It's late in the evening. The young lance corporal is standing next to the steps of the camp chapel. A few other servicemen mull about following the service. He shifts his M-16 from one hand to the other. He speaks slowly about being a parent to the son he doesn't know.
"I had a good father, good parents, and the example that they set for me is going to be something that is going to be more difficult to live up to than the life of a Marine in combat," Webb says. "It's hard out here, but I think real life is more difficult than it is out here. And to be able to make sure that my son grows into a good person is going to be more difficult than leading Marines."
Being away from home for such a long time is burden enough for most, but being separated from children adds extra weight. "We want to get in there and be part of them, you know," says Capt. Gaylan Springer, chaplain for the 222nd Field Artillery from Utah, at least seven members of which have had children since the unit deployed. "I think every one of us here with children feels we're not being a good enough father because we're not there."
For his part, Webb is having trouble even feeling like a father, let alone a good one.
"For me, he's still not a real thing," he says. "He wasn't there when I was going. My wife wasn't even really showing."
Webb met his wife, Kristina, at a dance at Trolley Square early in 2004. He was preparing for boot camp. She liked that he was going to be a Marine.
Only when their relationship became serious did she contemplate how his military service might greatly alter their family life.
"I said 'Oh, wait, now I have to be a military wife,' " recalls Kristina Webb, who now lives in Carlsbad, Calif.
The couple married in August 2004. Rowan Webb was born about a year later, on Aug. 18.
Ryan Webb was on patrol when Rowan was born. Kristina was induced into labor, so she could have her baby with her parents by her side. The American Red Cross was expected to contact Webb in Ramadi with the news. Instead, he found out when he called his wife the next day.
While the conversation started with surprise and confusion, it ended with a flurry of joyful questions. He wanted to know how the delivery went, who was there, how his baby looked.
He was happier than he'd ever been. And sadder. He wanted to be there, but instead settled for helping name his son through e-mail from Iraq. Kristina Webb and family have seen much of Ryan in Rowan.
"He has pretty much everything from his father. He has Ryan's eyes and ears and Ryan's lips," Kristina Webb said. "The only thing he got from me is my nose - the poor thing."
She described their child as "very mellow."
"If he is awake he is content, and he only really cries when he is hungry," she said. "My mother-in-law told me Ryan was the same way."
She knows she has "it very easy" now, but recalls the heavy anxiety she felt before giving birth.
"I always had dreams that he was going to come home early and surprise me and then my anxiety would go away," Kristina Webb said. "But then I would wake up."
Ryan Webb should get his first chance at hands-on fathering when his tour ends and he returns home in the middle of next week.
Reporter Matthew D. LaPlante and photographer Rick Egan are traveling in Iraq with Utah-based military units. Daily online dispatches, including additional information about, and photographs of, the troops with whom they are assigned, may be found at www.sltrib.com/iraq.
You may reach LaPlante and Egan at iraq@sltrib.com.
Reporter Matt Canham contributed to this story.
Ellie