thedrifter
08-26-05, 06:11 AM
DIVIDE IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
Families of Iraq war victims share Sheehan's pain, if not her politics
- John Koopman, Chronicle Staff Writer
Friday, August 26, 2005
Cindy Sheehan and Loretta Bridges are members of a very select club: mothers who have lost sons in Iraq.
Both grieve. Both work to honor their sons' sacrifice. Neither believes the United States should have gone to war in Iraq.
But that's where the similarities end.
Sheehan has become the new face of the peace movement, camping outside President Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas, and demanding to speak with him about the war and the loss of her son.
Bridges would never consider such a thing.
"My son believed in what he was doing," Bridges said. "I would never go protest against what he believed in and died for."
Bridges' son, Army Staff Sgt. Steven H. Bridges, 33, of Tracy, was killed Dec. 8 in the Iraqi town of Duluiya when his vehicle flipped into a canal. "I don't think we should have gone to Iraq," Bridges said. "But we're there now, and we have to finish what we started."
That's a common theme among other Northern California parents and family members of troops killed in Iraq. Most do not, or did not, support the war in Iraq, but the great divide among them is what to do now: stay the course or get out before any more troops are killed.
Sheehan, whose son Casey was a 24-year-old Army specialist who died in April 2004 in Baghdad, has become a lightning rod for people on both sides of the debate over the war in Iraq. As the mother of a soldier killed in the war, she speaks with a moral authority that's hard to question.
But some who have lost loved ones in the war believe Sheehan incorrectly attempts to speak for all families of the dead. Some think she is simply seeking publicity. Some say she dishonors her dead son by protesting a war in which he volunteered to fight.
At the same time, she has many supporters, including other parents of fallen troops.
Karen Meredith of Mountain View, whose son, Kenneth Ballard, was killed last year, has gone to Crawford to show support for Sheehan and to meet with other Gold Star families. She would like the president of the United States to come out and explain the war to them.
"If I can go all the way to Crawford, he can drive down the road and speak to us," Meredith said.
She said Sheehan's protest in Crawford sparked a movement, and the movement is growing.
"Sometimes, people need permission to say what's on their mind," Meredith said. "Maybe Cindy has given them permission to speak out."
Meredith's ex-husband, Tom Ballard, holds an opposite view.
"I believe what we're doing in Iraq is right," he said. "And Ken believed the same thing. He was working with schools over there, trying to help people. I don't agree with what Cindy is doing.
"My son was there for a purpose," Ballard said. "He gave the ultimate sacrifice. Was it all for naught?"
Ballard said Sheehan is a "squeaky wheel" who is getting a lot of attention from the media. Meanwhile, people who support the troops or the war are largely ignored because they don't stand on street corners and wave signs.
Nadia McCaffrey of Tracy, whose son Patrick died in June 2004, also went to Crawford to offer her support to Sheehan and to try to see the president.
"I needed to be there to support her, as a mother and as a human being," McCaffrey said. "All mothers should pay attention to what she is saying."
McCaffrey said she met Sheehan when they and others got together for a September 2004 Town Hall meeting sponsored by The Chronicle -- called "Next of Kin" -- and stayed in touch afterward. They appeared at some events together and became friends.
McCaffrey said she is not as political as Sheehan, and they don't agree on everything. But they both believe in Sheehan's basic message.
"The message is simple: End the war and bring the troops home," she said. "The war is going nowhere. People are dying every day. It's going to go on forever if we don't take a stand."
Diane Layfield of Fremont said she feels Sheehan has made the story all about her.
"It's frustrating that she's getting all this attention," Layfield said. "A lot of us do not agree with her. I've talked to other families, and they all feel the same way."
Layfield's son Travis was a 19-year-old Marine lance corporal when he was killed in Iraq's deadly Anbar province.
"My son died with dignity and courage," she said. "He died doing what he believed in. I grieve just as much as Cindy does. I live with it every day. I just don't agree with her on a lot of things."
For Layfield and others, it's about respect for their dead sons. "Casey is probably sitting up there right now saying, 'Mom, what are you doing?' " she said.
Nick Arnett of Santa Clara supports Sheehan and wants to see an end to the war. But more important, he said, people need to honor the sacrifice of all men and women in the military.
Arnett's nephew, 21-year-old Wes Canning, died serving in the Marines last fall. He was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade on Nov. 10.
"Soon after Wes was killed, I abandoned all support for the war," Arnett said. "At first, I was a reluctant supporter. The image of nuclear weapons being smuggled into this country, well, I felt like it was a just cause. Later, we found that was incorrect. So there was nothing to support."
Arnett said some people feel that he and others like Sheehan dishonor troops by suggesting they be brought home. But that's not right, he said.
"They can't separate personal support for troops from the public role of opposing U.S. policy," Arnett said. "We honor the sense of self-sacrifice."
Mark Crowley does not agree with Sheehan. He, along with several other families of troops who died, called down to Crawford to ask that their sons' names be removed from crosses placed there as a memorial.
"Cindy has every right to grieve," he said. "My heart goes out to her. Her son was a great man who gave his life for his country. But that doesn't mean she has the right to use my son's name for her cause."
Crowley's son Kyle, an 18-year-old Marine, was killed in an ambush in Anbar province. Crowley said he didn't agree with the war. He, like many others, would have preferred the United States to have focused on Afghanistan in the aftermath of 9/11. "But it's too late to back out now," he said.
Crowley said his son was proud to be a Marine and wanted to serve in the corps since he was 15.
"His belief was, this was about our freedom," he said. "He did it for country, family and friends."
As for protesting the war, Crowley said, "it's not about what I want, it's about what he wanted."
"It's the same with Casey," Crowley said. "She is dishonoring his memory."
Donna Cowen, whose son Sean Silva died in an ambush in Baghdad last year, says she feels sorry for Sheehan.
"It's horrible to lose a child, but it's even worse when you lose your only child," she said. "I have another son and daughter, so that's really heartbreaking for her.
"I pray for her every day, hoping she can get through this."
Still, Cowen said she could never protest the war based on the loss of her son. "He believed in what he was doing," she said of her son. "He was grown up, became a man and made his own decision. Some parents, in their grief, are not able to let go."
E-mail John Koopman at jkoopmant@sfchronicle.com.
Ellie
Families of Iraq war victims share Sheehan's pain, if not her politics
- John Koopman, Chronicle Staff Writer
Friday, August 26, 2005
Cindy Sheehan and Loretta Bridges are members of a very select club: mothers who have lost sons in Iraq.
Both grieve. Both work to honor their sons' sacrifice. Neither believes the United States should have gone to war in Iraq.
But that's where the similarities end.
Sheehan has become the new face of the peace movement, camping outside President Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas, and demanding to speak with him about the war and the loss of her son.
Bridges would never consider such a thing.
"My son believed in what he was doing," Bridges said. "I would never go protest against what he believed in and died for."
Bridges' son, Army Staff Sgt. Steven H. Bridges, 33, of Tracy, was killed Dec. 8 in the Iraqi town of Duluiya when his vehicle flipped into a canal. "I don't think we should have gone to Iraq," Bridges said. "But we're there now, and we have to finish what we started."
That's a common theme among other Northern California parents and family members of troops killed in Iraq. Most do not, or did not, support the war in Iraq, but the great divide among them is what to do now: stay the course or get out before any more troops are killed.
Sheehan, whose son Casey was a 24-year-old Army specialist who died in April 2004 in Baghdad, has become a lightning rod for people on both sides of the debate over the war in Iraq. As the mother of a soldier killed in the war, she speaks with a moral authority that's hard to question.
But some who have lost loved ones in the war believe Sheehan incorrectly attempts to speak for all families of the dead. Some think she is simply seeking publicity. Some say she dishonors her dead son by protesting a war in which he volunteered to fight.
At the same time, she has many supporters, including other parents of fallen troops.
Karen Meredith of Mountain View, whose son, Kenneth Ballard, was killed last year, has gone to Crawford to show support for Sheehan and to meet with other Gold Star families. She would like the president of the United States to come out and explain the war to them.
"If I can go all the way to Crawford, he can drive down the road and speak to us," Meredith said.
She said Sheehan's protest in Crawford sparked a movement, and the movement is growing.
"Sometimes, people need permission to say what's on their mind," Meredith said. "Maybe Cindy has given them permission to speak out."
Meredith's ex-husband, Tom Ballard, holds an opposite view.
"I believe what we're doing in Iraq is right," he said. "And Ken believed the same thing. He was working with schools over there, trying to help people. I don't agree with what Cindy is doing.
"My son was there for a purpose," Ballard said. "He gave the ultimate sacrifice. Was it all for naught?"
Ballard said Sheehan is a "squeaky wheel" who is getting a lot of attention from the media. Meanwhile, people who support the troops or the war are largely ignored because they don't stand on street corners and wave signs.
Nadia McCaffrey of Tracy, whose son Patrick died in June 2004, also went to Crawford to offer her support to Sheehan and to try to see the president.
"I needed to be there to support her, as a mother and as a human being," McCaffrey said. "All mothers should pay attention to what she is saying."
McCaffrey said she met Sheehan when they and others got together for a September 2004 Town Hall meeting sponsored by The Chronicle -- called "Next of Kin" -- and stayed in touch afterward. They appeared at some events together and became friends.
McCaffrey said she is not as political as Sheehan, and they don't agree on everything. But they both believe in Sheehan's basic message.
"The message is simple: End the war and bring the troops home," she said. "The war is going nowhere. People are dying every day. It's going to go on forever if we don't take a stand."
Diane Layfield of Fremont said she feels Sheehan has made the story all about her.
"It's frustrating that she's getting all this attention," Layfield said. "A lot of us do not agree with her. I've talked to other families, and they all feel the same way."
Layfield's son Travis was a 19-year-old Marine lance corporal when he was killed in Iraq's deadly Anbar province.
"My son died with dignity and courage," she said. "He died doing what he believed in. I grieve just as much as Cindy does. I live with it every day. I just don't agree with her on a lot of things."
For Layfield and others, it's about respect for their dead sons. "Casey is probably sitting up there right now saying, 'Mom, what are you doing?' " she said.
Nick Arnett of Santa Clara supports Sheehan and wants to see an end to the war. But more important, he said, people need to honor the sacrifice of all men and women in the military.
Arnett's nephew, 21-year-old Wes Canning, died serving in the Marines last fall. He was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade on Nov. 10.
"Soon after Wes was killed, I abandoned all support for the war," Arnett said. "At first, I was a reluctant supporter. The image of nuclear weapons being smuggled into this country, well, I felt like it was a just cause. Later, we found that was incorrect. So there was nothing to support."
Arnett said some people feel that he and others like Sheehan dishonor troops by suggesting they be brought home. But that's not right, he said.
"They can't separate personal support for troops from the public role of opposing U.S. policy," Arnett said. "We honor the sense of self-sacrifice."
Mark Crowley does not agree with Sheehan. He, along with several other families of troops who died, called down to Crawford to ask that their sons' names be removed from crosses placed there as a memorial.
"Cindy has every right to grieve," he said. "My heart goes out to her. Her son was a great man who gave his life for his country. But that doesn't mean she has the right to use my son's name for her cause."
Crowley's son Kyle, an 18-year-old Marine, was killed in an ambush in Anbar province. Crowley said he didn't agree with the war. He, like many others, would have preferred the United States to have focused on Afghanistan in the aftermath of 9/11. "But it's too late to back out now," he said.
Crowley said his son was proud to be a Marine and wanted to serve in the corps since he was 15.
"His belief was, this was about our freedom," he said. "He did it for country, family and friends."
As for protesting the war, Crowley said, "it's not about what I want, it's about what he wanted."
"It's the same with Casey," Crowley said. "She is dishonoring his memory."
Donna Cowen, whose son Sean Silva died in an ambush in Baghdad last year, says she feels sorry for Sheehan.
"It's horrible to lose a child, but it's even worse when you lose your only child," she said. "I have another son and daughter, so that's really heartbreaking for her.
"I pray for her every day, hoping she can get through this."
Still, Cowen said she could never protest the war based on the loss of her son. "He believed in what he was doing," she said of her son. "He was grown up, became a man and made his own decision. Some parents, in their grief, are not able to let go."
E-mail John Koopman at jkoopmant@sfchronicle.com.
Ellie