thedrifter
07-26-05, 12:36 PM
August 01, 2005
Peeled by the onion
News spoof targets Corps’ recruiting woes
The Onion, which touts itself as “America’s finest news source,” has weighed in on the Marine Corps’ recruiting situation. In its July 20 edition, the paper wrote:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In light of recruiting shortfalls, a near standstill in re-enlistment and rock-bottom troop morale, U.S. Marine Corps Commandant Gen. Michael Hagee announced Monday that the Marines will alter their unofficial slogan, abbreviating it to the more accurate “The Few.”
Hagee said, “We are still the Marines, the premier combat arm of the U.S. military.” The Marines will also change their motto to Semper Fidelis, Sic Non Sapienti, or “Always Faithful, But This Is Just Ridiculous.”
For the uninitiated, the Onion prints fake news, so don’t tear off those bumper stickers just yet. According to staff writer John Krewson, the paper wanted to lampoon the Corps because its motto made it a perfect foil for the article’s intended message, though he did briefly entertain the idea of writing about “an Army of literally one.”
Krewson, who hopes Hagee gets a chuckle out of his news brief, said his newspaper rarely pokes fun at the military because the Onion is staffed mostly by “a bunch of people who wouldn’t make it through the second week of basic.”
He said his brief could be reprinted here because he was sure “Marine Corps Times could probably kick our ass.”
— John Hoellwarth
Ellie
Peeled by the onion
News spoof targets Corps’ recruiting woes
The Onion, which touts itself as “America’s finest news source,” has weighed in on the Marine Corps’ recruiting situation. In its July 20 edition, the paper wrote:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In light of recruiting shortfalls, a near standstill in re-enlistment and rock-bottom troop morale, U.S. Marine Corps Commandant Gen. Michael Hagee announced Monday that the Marines will alter their unofficial slogan, abbreviating it to the more accurate “The Few.”
Hagee said, “We are still the Marines, the premier combat arm of the U.S. military.” The Marines will also change their motto to Semper Fidelis, Sic Non Sapienti, or “Always Faithful, But This Is Just Ridiculous.”
For the uninitiated, the Onion prints fake news, so don’t tear off those bumper stickers just yet. According to staff writer John Krewson, the paper wanted to lampoon the Corps because its motto made it a perfect foil for the article’s intended message, though he did briefly entertain the idea of writing about “an Army of literally one.”
Krewson, who hopes Hagee gets a chuckle out of his news brief, said his newspaper rarely pokes fun at the military because the Onion is staffed mostly by “a bunch of people who wouldn’t make it through the second week of basic.”
He said his brief could be reprinted here because he was sure “Marine Corps Times could probably kick our ass.”
— John Hoellwarth
Ellie