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thedrifter
07-21-05, 10:01 AM
For Marines in Iraq, Humor Offers Escape

By ANTONIO CASTANEDA
Associated Press Writer

July 21, 2005, 3:58 AM EDT

HADITHA, Iraq -- Slumped on the doorstep of a war-damaged police station, worn out and sweltering in 110 degree heat, Pfc. Derek Davidson couldn't resist a joke about a friend who'd stayed back at base after injuring himself lifting weights.

"I gotta go to the gym more often," Davidson lamented. Around him, a small group of fellow U.S. Marines, taking a brief break from battle, erupted into snickers.

As they have throughout their history, the Marines here often turn to jokes or pranks to relieve the tension of living in constant danger, these days while patrolling dusty streets of this western Iraqi town.

The humor is often dark and almost always salty, focusing on aching backs, alcohol, their own mortality -- and, of course, old girlfriends.

At one Haditha home that the Marines commandeered, a dog handler instructed his German Shepherd, who usually sniffs out explosives, to sit on the head of a resting Marine. That sparked roars of laughter and approval as the startled target tried to scramble away from the obedient dog.

Other Marines pack boulders in their friends' backpacks before patrols, then try to suppress laughs as they watch their buddies struggle with the extra weight -- as if Marines weren't laden enough with body armor, weapons, ammunition and other gear.

After three days of sporadic fighting where civilians, insurgents and suicide bombers all look alike, Capt. Christopher Toland, a company commander, and Davidson, 20, of Columbus, Ohio, and their fellow Marines were tired and hot and just looking for a break from the tension.

Toland, a 6-foot-4 Texan from Austin who serves in the 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, once played a Secret Service agent on the TV series "The West Wing." Now he regales his Marines with tales of alcohol, women and girlfriends gone bad.

"At least in the 'Nam, they had booze and women," Toland jokingly complained last month, speaking of the Vietnam War.

But just as quickly, the Marines can turn deadly serious.

While many took naps in this building with bloodstains on the walls, an armored vehicle ran over a hidden land mine just outside. The explosion thundered through the hallways and sent waves of fine sand rushing inside through broken windows. Fortunately, the worst injuries this time were damaged ear drums.

As they patrol streets, catch quick naps and patch up the wounded, the Marines' dry sarcasm is a staple.

During one patrol on a market street -- where rotting vegetables abandoned by salesmen festered in the desert sun -- a low-flying U.S. warplane roared overhead, prompting a group of Marines to look up.

"It's the Iraqi Air Force," quipped Sgt. Nicholas Moore, a native of Virginia.

Often jokes take on a dark tinge, which may only be funny to those who regularly face their own mortality in a war where death and maiming by roadside bombs is an everyday possibility.

As he said goodbye to a friend departing for a mission, Sgt. Shawn Bryan of Albuquerque, N.M., warned jokingly: "If you get whacked, I'm going to take your TV."

And, during the ride to Iraq's western border for the Operation Matador offensive on insurgents in mid-May, one Marine from the 3rd Battalion dozed off, prompting the others to quietly put on their gas masks.

"Wake up! Gas attack!" they then screamed.

Their startled, gasping friend scrambled to throw on his own mask as the others burst into laughter. Three weeks later, some of them still chuckled at the memory.

Ellie