Sea Tales

[yellowwing]

I'll start this out and see if we can pass on some lessons to these youngsters.

Staff NCOs have x-ray vision!
I was late getting out of the rack from a night of chasing wimenz. I had rushed to put on my field utility uniform for weekly inspection.

Dang-it! A soon as we formed up I knew that I had forgotten my web belt. :no:

Sure enough, the second question our Staff Sergeant asked me (without even looking) was "Why do we not have on a belt today?" :devious:

I had the privilege of field-daying our area after work. I never forgot my belt again! :lick:

[jinelson]

We were at the snapping in range at Edson Range Camp Pendleton snapping in on 55 gallon drums with small triangles and squares painted on them. We were assembled in a school circle around the drums in the kneeling postion for what seemed an eternity when the Drill Instructor said head calls are in order for 3 minutes and 3 minutes only. I was in such a hurry to make that head call that I had forgotten to place my weapon on safe. When I returned my weaponwas not on my post so I had to see the Drill Instructor to have it returned. I spent the rest of the day running around my platoon in the school circle with my M-14A1 outstretched over my head, it was a long afternoon but I never forgot that safety again.

Nothing goes unnoticed in the Corps! :no:

[Chrscllhn]

We were out at A-line and while sitting in the classroom the DI's were in the back of the room trying to imitate DI's from other platoons trying to get us to respond.

After, playing the game for about 15 minutes we recoginized our own Heavy ask for 3 volunteers. Well, I jumped up with a few other of my buddies from our platoon and we sure did get rewarded for being able to pick out the "real" voice of our DI.

We spent the rest of the afternoon fishing MRE wrappers out of the porta-potties!

[LivinSoFree]

Out in Alabama this past June, we pulled a 19 day exercise for AT with the entire Battalion. Needless to say, there was plenty of staff and brass present (which led to a lot of bullsh*t, but that's beside the point). Part of this whole evolution was a quick 3 1/2 day commex/fieldex.

We set up the standard 3 commsites in this huge training range, maybe about a klick or 2 apart (it's training, we've only got so much space... it works). We were running full comm setups, plus full tactical status, with perimeter security watches ordered to challenge anyone coming through the perimeter, and authorized to shoot if necessary (blanks... but still). In any case, a couple of officers and some SNCO got the bright idea that they were tired of being challenged on the perimeter, and so they decided to take a Marine, make him get in their little Excursion that they were riding around in, and take his radio from him. Needless to say, it didn't take long for his site to figure out that someone (and a WEAPON!) was missing.

Pretty soon, their site was in a frenzy, doing search parties, etc. I was running a shift watching the MRC-142, so I was talking to the MUX operator on the other end, and getting all of this as straight scoop. So it came as no surprise to me when we heard someone come over the main command net calling for all the sites to have a formation down at the site with the missing Marine. So, with a bit of grumbling and incredulity, we all get blouses on (black flag days...training environment, etc), and form up to hump down to the other site. Right as we're formed up, the other site comes over the net and says something to the effect of "oh, our bad, y'all don't have to come down here."

At this point we're just like "f*ck this" and start breaking back to our sections, when our SNCOIC says "aw hell, we're here, someone take a damn picture." So a couple Marines get a site photo. Then we all start to leave, when Sgt. Reed, our wire chief, rifle in hand, starts CHARGING up the hill, halfway up, he turns around and says:

"HEY! LET'S MOON THE F*CKERS!"

We all kinda give a look at each other like, "what the f*ck? Well.. why not?!" and quickly assemble, in one line, perfectly aligned in a semicircle, face a$$ end towards the offending commsite (with all the staff and brass, I might add..) and, all together, drop trou.

Thus it came to be that 39 Marines mooned their CO on a hilltop on a bright June day in Alabama... that's gonna be a highlight of my career for a long time to come.

[mrbsox]

We're at sea, been out for a few weeks, and getting a VertRep (vertical replenishment, Helos bringing supplies in). We're all standing on the edge of the flight deck in formation at about 2300. The Section leaders and our Gunny are running up and down the lines, looking at paper, counting heads, looking at the paper...

'I NEED THREE VOLUNTEERS'

Me and my bros are about salty, and kinda fed up with the stupid FkFk games, so we decide it's time to step up. Yhea, we'll probably get some sh!t detail, but at least we'll be away from the MAIN graba$$ bull sh!t, and be able to get the job done with some common sense.

We break ranks and head up to the Gunny. He pulls us aside and gives us the run down on what's happening...

'You goys know theres only so much room to manauver in a passage way, and the Navy has this down to a science, how many men are needed at each location, to get the stores down to the hold.'

Well, it turns out that we got TOO MANY men for the job, so Gunny tells us to go back down to the compartment and hit the rack.

I think that was the ONLY time I volunteered for a work detail, that paid off.

[yellowwing]

The Rocket's Red Glare
One of our Staff Sergeants in El Toro invited us all over for a barbecue, complete with keg and punch bowl.

We were just p*ssing ourselves laughing when one WM asked if it was "virgin punch" and someone threw out the reply, "No, it's SLUT PUNCH!"

Right in the middle of the laughter someone yelled out, "What the f*ck is that!" We all turned to the sky and saw a large rocket plume speeding upward and just starting to slightly tip over. This was 1985, with the Cold War still going strong.

There was definitely a moment or two of stunned silence. Someone finally asked, "Should we report back or spend our last hour at the keg?" It seemed like a really good question with two excellent options.

Gunny Hobbs, ever the cool professional, said "Relax", and proceeded to get on the phone. Sure enough it was the Air Force doing a missile test.

That next drink went down really smooth.

[BOOGIEMAN44]

1981... 2nd phase, rifle range, C

[BOOGIEMAN44]

SORRY WRONG BUTTON... 1981.. 2ND PHASE, RIFLE RANGE, CAMP PENDLETON CA., MY WHOLE PLT. WAS FORMED FOR EVENING CHOW AFTER A HARD DAY OF SNAPPING IN, A D.I. FROM YOUR SISTER PLT, CAME UP TO OUR PLT, AND INFORMED US THAT WE WERE TO FOLLOW HIM, SO WITH A FEW, OH CRAP LOOKS, WE FILED OUT OF THE CHOW LINE AND PROCEEDED TO FOLLOW THE D.I., HE TOOK US IN TO HIS PLT'S SQUAD BAY, AND INFORMED US, (MY PLT) THAT A MEMBER OF HIS PLT. HAD FORGOT TO LOCK HIS FOOT LOCKER... WELL NOW, HE HAD MY PLT. DESTROY HIS SQUAD BAY, AND FOR FEAR OF HIS WRATH, WE DID,THEN HE HAD US TAKE THE NAME TAPE OFF BOTH SIDES OF THE FOOT LOCKER, SO NO ONE NEW WHAT FOOT LOCKER BELONGED TO WHO, THE D.I. THEN HAD US TAKE ALL THE FOOT LOCKERS AND STACK THEM, PADLOCK TO THE MIDDLE, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MINI GRINDER, AND AT 3 AM, YOU COULD STILL HERE THE D.I. HOLLERING...HAS EVERYONE GOT THE RIGHT FOOT LOCKER THIS TIME?? AND AFTER A SHORT PAUSE, YOU WOULD HERE THE D.I. SAY,, OPEN THEM, THEN YOU WOULD HERE AN AWWWW S**T, WITH THE FOLLOWING COMMAND... RESTACK THEM, 2 THINGS WENT WRONG THAT DAY FOR THAT PLT. 1, THEY FOR GOT TO POST A FIRE WATCH, AND 2, SOMEONE FOR GOT TO LOCK THERE FOOT LOCKER... WE GOT TO GO TO CHOW THAT NIGHT, AND EAT ALL WE WANTED, WITH THE THANKS OF OUR SISTER PLT. D.I.

[miguelito]

I remember in bootcamp drill instructors would constantly try to sneak into the squadbay in hopes that nobody would see them and therefor not give them the proper greeting of the day. Of course most of the time we wouldn't see them and not say a word. So to repay us for not giving the greeting of the day they would dump our sh*tcan all over the squadbay. We finally got smart and decided to tie the sh*tcan to the doorstop in the ground that way the drill instructor wouldn't be able to dump it. Sure enough not even 10 minutes later a drill instructor walks in and even though we actually did see him and give him the proper greeting of the day he still felt inclined to dump our sh*tcan everywhere. As he attempted to dump it, he just about fell on his ass as the rope that held it down whiped him back. All we hear is, "oh you nasty recruits want to be funny right?! We'll see how funny it is when your taking cold showers tonight!". He then left the squadbay and left us all thinking to ourselves, "that's all the wrath that drill instructor has? We got let off easy!". Well, sure enough that night he tried to turn off the hot water but accidentally turned off the cold water and so we had scorching hot showers that night. I think the DI was more dumbfounded that we would even have the balls to try something like that, that he couldn't think of anyway to make our lives hell.
This is off the story but I'll never forget what our bulldog said to us the day before graduation. He always called us "pathetic monkeys" all throughout bootcamp and so the day before graduation he says, "today you are no longer pathetic monkeys! You are now well-trained pathetic monkeys!".

[yellowwing]

Don't phuck with Sea Duty Marines
I’m in the doctor’s office in MCLB Albany. Across from me is a sailor with a very obvious and nasty scar on his right temple. After some chitchat I finally ask him about the scar.

He said he was on the Sinking Sara (USS Saratoga aircraft carrier) with a contingent of Marines aboard. When they are running security drills its usually a good idea to become a coat of paint along the bulk heads.

“I forgot and turned around to see a hard charging Corporal running at me with a shot gun. He never slowed down when he blew by me and knocked me into a metal hatchway!”

The sailor never got into a Marine’s pathway again!

[Wyoming]

MCRD.

Fall of '65

Not good.

Went to the head.

Cover off and tucked in back.

Stood in line.

My turn came.

You guessed it.

Dropped my cover in the ****ter.

Retrieved it before I did the deed on it.

Wet cover.

DI made me wear it.

Made me wet it down for a couple of days and wear it until dry and miraculously water would be found for wetting down again.

I never, NEVER, dropped my cover again.

Pretty sure no one else did either.


Not real sure if I took a sheeit the rest of the time I was there.