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Kegler300
10-29-02, 10:33 AM
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat.
She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead." She was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I ****ed in its ear and it didn't move,"
answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in
surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and
went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

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A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later....
"Da-ad...."
"What?
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later:
"Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to
spank you!!"
Five minutes later......
"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a
drink of water?"

________________________________________________

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting
into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect
to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in
and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,
'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

_________________________________________________

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a
mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to
turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will
you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring
hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long
silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

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It was that time, during the Sunday morning service,
for the children's sermon. All the children were
invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty
dress and,as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a
very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied,
directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's
a ***** to iron."

_________________________________________________

When I was six months pregnant with my third child,
my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get
into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes,
honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy" "I know," she
replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

_________________________________________________

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to
himself, "Two plus five, that son of a ***** is seven. Three plus six,
that son of a ***** is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and
gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math
homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the
mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher
the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied,
"Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you
teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a ***** is four?" After the
teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus
two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

_________________________________________________

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to
her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to
warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the
farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher
paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One
little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy ****! A
talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

wrbones
10-31-02, 03:32 PM
How did I miss this one! LMAOROTF.

Thanks Kegler!

This is bein' bumped fer new beginnings and hope for future things!

May they always be as pleasant as things like theses