thedrifter
06-22-05, 07:43 AM
Confuscious Gluteus Maximus: Kissing It When We Ought to be Kicking It
Written by Matthew Holmes
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
It’s time to decide whether we’re still fighting a war or just babysitting terrorists.
Because the war in Iraq has suddenly begun to take on symptoms of what I call the Confuscious Gluteus Maximus, where instead of kicking tail to achieve our objectives, we’ve suddenly decided we must start kissing it.
Clearly, this is a strategy being employed by our government in their continued fervor to win the acceptance of the French. But it’s not real effective when it comes to winning wars and keeping our soldiers from being killed.
Depending on who you are, the strategy espoused by Confuscious Gluteus Maximus—or, “winning the hearts and minds of militant Islam,” as proponents of Gluteus call it—makes perfect sense.
It certainly does to bureaucrats like RINO Senator Chuck Hagel, who, as spokesman for Gluteus supporters all over the world, said the following: “If in fact we are treating prisoners this way, it’s not only wrong, it’s dangerous and very dumb and very shortsighted ... This is not how you win the people of the world over to our side, especially the Muslim world.”
Actually, what’s far dumber and infinitely more shortsighted is listening to weenies like Senator Hagel try to convince Americans that “please and thank you” ever work in a time of war.
Speaking about the terrorist detention center in Guantanamo Bay, Democrat Joe Biden said, “I think more Americans are in jeopardy as a consequence of the perception that exists worldwide with its existence than if there were no Gitmo.”
Liberal Senator Patrick Leahy called the prison “an international embarrassment to our nation, to our ideals and remains a festering threat to our security.”
Funny, but I recall many people saying the same thing about Ted Kennedy.
Speaking of Senator Chappaquiddick, Kennedy—always the consummate American patriot—had this to say:
“We now learn that Saddam’s torture chambers reopened under new management: U.S. management.” Kennedy added, “Closing Guantanamo makes sense.”
No, wearing a life jacket anytime you’re in a car and Uncle Ted is behind the wheel makes sense. Closing the terrorist daycare facility at Gitmo (and releasing the scum currently living there) is the same as pulling the trigger on a United States Marine, because that’s exactly what the occupants of Gitmo will do if they are released.
Of course, the liberal poster child on this issue is Dick Durbin, who said the following (about allegations of abuse) on the Senate floor:
“If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime—Pol Pot or others—that had no concern for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in the treatment of their prisoners.”
Unfortunately for Durbin, people do still listen (albeit through a sleepy haze) to what gets said while the Senate is in session, and while the mainstream press tries to spin Durbin’s BS into another “misunderstanding”, the backlash in the new media has been severe.
If Hagel, Kennedy, and their ilk truly believe that winning the hearts and minds of the militant Muslim world is the key to victory in the War on Terror, they should immediately call for a nuclear strike on Israel and begin advocating mass suicides here in the United States, because the only way to win the hearts of these enemies is to kill ourselves. (Somewhere, a Muslim extremist with no grasp of sarcasm is reading this saying, “Now this is an American I can listen to!”)
Our enemies in Iraq are many things, but nuanced isn’t one of them. They are not like liberals, who are incapable of expressing themselves or making their intentions known. Liberals seem to believe that there are scores of fanatics sitting in Iraq, Iran, and Syria contemplating whether to embrace freedom or to become suicide bombers.
As Ann Coulter observed, “Pause to ponder the image of the middle-of-the-road, “centrist” jihadist who could be “recruited” to jihad by reports about abuse at Guantanamo. You know - the kind of guy who just watches al-Jazeera for the sports and hits the “mute” button whenever they start in about the Jews again, already.
Liberals want us to believe such a person exists and that he is perusing newspaper articles about Guantanamo trying to decide whether to finish his coffee and head off to work or to place a backpack filled with dynamite near a preschool.”
No matter how complex liberals try to make this issue, the terrorist message is simple: Kill or be Killed.
So it’s time to decide what we’re fighting for.
If the proponents of Confuscious Gluteus Maximus speak for the United States, then it’s time to bring our fighting men and women home, because if you think liberals are good at losing elections, you’d be amazed at how quickly they can lose a war.
But, if indeed we are still fighting a war against terrorism, perhaps we should employ a new combat strategy, called “Killing the hearts and minds of terrorists.”
First, interrogate our enemies like the murdering scumbags they are. If it has now become illegal to use physical stressors to get terrorists to talk, try a prune juice diet, a steady barrage of Richard Simmons infomercials, and all-night David Hasselhoff music marathons. We will have Osama bin Laden in two weeks.
Start showing these insurgent communities that there are deadly consequences to opposing the United States and our allies. When we discover a community aiding the insurgency, flatten it.
And almost as critical to our success, we can tell the liberal press and their friends in the Democratic Party to take their treasonous news coverage and arrogant misrepresentation of our military and shove it.
Tell them to stop raking our fighting men and women over the coals for every allegation of misbehavior. Stop running off men like Lt. Ilario Pantano, LTC Allen West, and the other heroes of our military who voluntarily put their lives at risk while members of our government undermine them at every turn.
What we need is a return to the attitudes of our grandfathers—the attitude that once had a WWII veteran say: “We wanted equal justice. They blew up our tanks. We destroyed their entire cities.”
Or perhaps a return to the attitude of our Founding Fathers would be more appropriate. As Abraham Lincoln said:
“Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged.”
They didn’t call him Honest Abe for nothing.
Ellie
Written by Matthew Holmes
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
It’s time to decide whether we’re still fighting a war or just babysitting terrorists.
Because the war in Iraq has suddenly begun to take on symptoms of what I call the Confuscious Gluteus Maximus, where instead of kicking tail to achieve our objectives, we’ve suddenly decided we must start kissing it.
Clearly, this is a strategy being employed by our government in their continued fervor to win the acceptance of the French. But it’s not real effective when it comes to winning wars and keeping our soldiers from being killed.
Depending on who you are, the strategy espoused by Confuscious Gluteus Maximus—or, “winning the hearts and minds of militant Islam,” as proponents of Gluteus call it—makes perfect sense.
It certainly does to bureaucrats like RINO Senator Chuck Hagel, who, as spokesman for Gluteus supporters all over the world, said the following: “If in fact we are treating prisoners this way, it’s not only wrong, it’s dangerous and very dumb and very shortsighted ... This is not how you win the people of the world over to our side, especially the Muslim world.”
Actually, what’s far dumber and infinitely more shortsighted is listening to weenies like Senator Hagel try to convince Americans that “please and thank you” ever work in a time of war.
Speaking about the terrorist detention center in Guantanamo Bay, Democrat Joe Biden said, “I think more Americans are in jeopardy as a consequence of the perception that exists worldwide with its existence than if there were no Gitmo.”
Liberal Senator Patrick Leahy called the prison “an international embarrassment to our nation, to our ideals and remains a festering threat to our security.”
Funny, but I recall many people saying the same thing about Ted Kennedy.
Speaking of Senator Chappaquiddick, Kennedy—always the consummate American patriot—had this to say:
“We now learn that Saddam’s torture chambers reopened under new management: U.S. management.” Kennedy added, “Closing Guantanamo makes sense.”
No, wearing a life jacket anytime you’re in a car and Uncle Ted is behind the wheel makes sense. Closing the terrorist daycare facility at Gitmo (and releasing the scum currently living there) is the same as pulling the trigger on a United States Marine, because that’s exactly what the occupants of Gitmo will do if they are released.
Of course, the liberal poster child on this issue is Dick Durbin, who said the following (about allegations of abuse) on the Senate floor:
“If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime—Pol Pot or others—that had no concern for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in the treatment of their prisoners.”
Unfortunately for Durbin, people do still listen (albeit through a sleepy haze) to what gets said while the Senate is in session, and while the mainstream press tries to spin Durbin’s BS into another “misunderstanding”, the backlash in the new media has been severe.
If Hagel, Kennedy, and their ilk truly believe that winning the hearts and minds of the militant Muslim world is the key to victory in the War on Terror, they should immediately call for a nuclear strike on Israel and begin advocating mass suicides here in the United States, because the only way to win the hearts of these enemies is to kill ourselves. (Somewhere, a Muslim extremist with no grasp of sarcasm is reading this saying, “Now this is an American I can listen to!”)
Our enemies in Iraq are many things, but nuanced isn’t one of them. They are not like liberals, who are incapable of expressing themselves or making their intentions known. Liberals seem to believe that there are scores of fanatics sitting in Iraq, Iran, and Syria contemplating whether to embrace freedom or to become suicide bombers.
As Ann Coulter observed, “Pause to ponder the image of the middle-of-the-road, “centrist” jihadist who could be “recruited” to jihad by reports about abuse at Guantanamo. You know - the kind of guy who just watches al-Jazeera for the sports and hits the “mute” button whenever they start in about the Jews again, already.
Liberals want us to believe such a person exists and that he is perusing newspaper articles about Guantanamo trying to decide whether to finish his coffee and head off to work or to place a backpack filled with dynamite near a preschool.”
No matter how complex liberals try to make this issue, the terrorist message is simple: Kill or be Killed.
So it’s time to decide what we’re fighting for.
If the proponents of Confuscious Gluteus Maximus speak for the United States, then it’s time to bring our fighting men and women home, because if you think liberals are good at losing elections, you’d be amazed at how quickly they can lose a war.
But, if indeed we are still fighting a war against terrorism, perhaps we should employ a new combat strategy, called “Killing the hearts and minds of terrorists.”
First, interrogate our enemies like the murdering scumbags they are. If it has now become illegal to use physical stressors to get terrorists to talk, try a prune juice diet, a steady barrage of Richard Simmons infomercials, and all-night David Hasselhoff music marathons. We will have Osama bin Laden in two weeks.
Start showing these insurgent communities that there are deadly consequences to opposing the United States and our allies. When we discover a community aiding the insurgency, flatten it.
And almost as critical to our success, we can tell the liberal press and their friends in the Democratic Party to take their treasonous news coverage and arrogant misrepresentation of our military and shove it.
Tell them to stop raking our fighting men and women over the coals for every allegation of misbehavior. Stop running off men like Lt. Ilario Pantano, LTC Allen West, and the other heroes of our military who voluntarily put their lives at risk while members of our government undermine them at every turn.
What we need is a return to the attitudes of our grandfathers—the attitude that once had a WWII veteran say: “We wanted equal justice. They blew up our tanks. We destroyed their entire cities.”
Or perhaps a return to the attitude of our Founding Fathers would be more appropriate. As Abraham Lincoln said:
“Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged.”
They didn’t call him Honest Abe for nothing.
Ellie