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Sparrowhawk
06-27-02, 08:27 PM
Hoochie Pants as barometer of marriage market

Laurel Wellman Thursday, May 2, 2002

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May is here, the wind is cold, and the women of San Francisco have been tripping about, bare-midriffed, since last summer, at least.

Yes, this is a column about Hoochie Pants, and the socioeconomic factors that mean butt cleavage -- as this month's Allure magazine so eloquently put it -- "isn't just for plumbers anymore."

Reading material like this is why I go to the gym. How, otherwise, would I ever find out that the Derriere Decollete butt facial ($75) is a newly popular beauty treatment in L.A. among those whose delicate lumbar-region skin may have been, uh, chapped by winter weather?

At this point, a few of you -- for example, those more practically minded males who have persisted in reading today's column out of strong senses of civic duty to be well-informed -- may be asking, "But gosh! Why don't women just wear sensible clothing that keeps them warm and protected? After all, they don't call it Northern California for nothing."

With the endearing schizophrenia that typifies fashion magazines, a small article in the same issue points the way to an answer to this question as well:

According to research psychologist and author Nigel Barber, women's clothing choices are determined by the state of the marriage market. When there are more marriageable women than men, women dress more provocatively; when the reverse is true, women's fashion becomes less revealing.

Well, duh. But one might ask whether that means we can expect, or even fervently hope, to see fewer back tattoos anytime soon. After all, the government's current population survey shows there are now slightly more than 32 million never-married men over the age of 15 in this country, versus fewer than 28 million never-married women.

(continued)

http://store1.yimg.com/I/magnus_1665_3570782

Sparrowhawk
06-27-02, 08:27 PM
Hoochie Pants and Wicked Women


Barber -- whose book "The Science of Romance" will appear later this month - - has compiled data on historic fashion trends that suggest this disparity could mean women will suddenly begin wearing longer skirts, while men will grow mustaches -- facial hair, and lots of it, being a way for males to demonstrate their testosterone production. Envisioning San Francisco's blue- shirted herds in formal suits, mutton-chop sideburns and handlebar mustaches makes an amusing change from reading the latest study on infertility. On that note, Barber's research also suggests that when female fertility is viewed as important, as it was during the 1950s, women play up their cleavages and smaller waists, not their booties -- something that could come as a blow to the importers of Brazilian jeans.

It's all very interesting, but in a purely abstract kind of way, because Barber doesn't really expect to see more clothing on women soon. "This trend is due to a worsening marriage market for women," he explains. "There's no reason for it to reverse."

Statistics don't show, for instance, how many of those 32 million never-married men actually dream of their wedding days -- or account for what Barber, in his paper, "Women's dress fashions as a function of reproductive strategy, " describes as "the alternative reproductive strategies model according to which women vary the relative importance of careers and marriages depending on the importance of each as an economic strategy for supporting themselves and their children."

Now there's a phrase that will keep you warm as you shiver in your low-cut jeans on the Muni platform -- climate, it goes without saying, being far less germane to fashion than demographic trends. "It's the same here in Maine," notes Barber. "People go around in miniskirts and bare midriffs in winter. I don't know how they do it."

Well, women still outnumber men in the general American population. Barber believes this may also help explain the recently publicized increase in drinking problems among college women. "Basically, they feel free to behave like men," he says.

Then again, he points out, this isn't the first time women, finding themselves in the majority, have scandalized society. In the late Middle Ages - - when, as a result of war and disease, there were only 85 men for every 100 women in many European cities -- Hoochie Pants hadn't yet been invented, but female licentiousness was in the news.

"During Chaucer's lifetime, you can read similar accounts of women suddenly going out and drinking beer and dancing, feeling free to be the sexual aggressor," says Barber. "(You may be) feeling a little cold. They spent hours doing their hair."

Laurel Wellman's column runs Tuesdays and Thursdays. E-mail her at lwellman@sfchronicle.com.

LadyLeatherneck
06-28-02, 10:42 AM
"During Chaucer's lifetime, you can read similar accounts of women suddenly going out and drinking beer and dancing, feeling free to be the sexual aggressor," says Barber. "(You may be) feeling a little cold. They spent hours doing their hair."


Hummm.....that sounds familiar. Cas, does it sound familiar
to you?! :rolleyes:

Sparrowhawk
06-28-02, 10:51 AM
Now, you have an excuse for your drinking beer and dancing, and for feeling free to be the sexual aggressor.

Like you needed an excuse..LMAO

CAS3
06-28-02, 11:11 AM
I have one thing to say.....
That statement represents me.

I may drink, dance, and have fun.
It has never taken me HOURS to do my hair. MARINE CORPS ISSUED!(over the collar)

SGT T
06-28-02, 12:53 PM
YOU WOMEN WEAR TIGHT CLOTHES SO THAT US MEN WILL LOSE OUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT.,,,,,,,,YOU WOMEN DANCE LIKE THAT SO WE WILL GET CHUBBIES WHILE AT THE BAR......YOU WOMEN DRINK LIKE THAT SO THAT WE DONT HAVE TO WRESTLE YOU IN OUR CARS TO GET YOU TO OUR PLACE SO WE CAN DO IT :D

CAS3
06-28-02, 01:21 PM
You might have to get some class in that backbone of yours!! J/K I still luv ya no matter how crude some of your remarks are!!!:)

We dance because it is the only way to get you on the dance floor and make you look like a moron....
We dress because we know we are sexy and like to see you making a fool out of yourself trying to get us undressed.
We drink because 99% of the time we have to put up with you at home or work.

:D

LadyLeatherneck
06-28-02, 01:31 PM
We dance because it is the only way to get you on the dance floor and make you look like a moron....
We dress because we know we are sexy and like to see you making a fool out of yourself trying to get us undressed.
We drink because 99% of the time we have to put up with you at home or work.

I couldn't of said it better myself...YOU GO GIRL!!!

SGT T
06-28-02, 01:37 PM
YOU GOT ME ON THAT ONE.....I SEE YOUR EVIL COUNTER PART EVEN JOINED IN.........THATS OKAY I HAVE GOT SOMETHING FOR THE BOTH OF YOU DEVIL DOGGETTES;)

CAS3
06-28-02, 01:42 PM
SGT T that sounded like a threat.
Got anything to back it up?
OH YEAH...I am sooooo scared!!!

SGT T
06-28-02, 01:47 PM
HANGING OUT AT THE BEACH













LUV YOU GIRLS

CAS3
06-28-02, 01:53 PM
THAT WAS SO CUTE...Bout time you had a good comeback!!

SGT T
06-28-02, 02:05 PM
CAS DIDNT SEE WHAT I WAS DOING WHILE SHE WAS TRYING TO CATCH A FISH

http://www.jokaroo.com/archive/earlyear.jpg







:D

Sparrowhawk
06-28-02, 06:20 PM
Don't look like you need a back up...


ROTFLMAO

lindagr41
06-28-02, 09:43 PM
Testing 1, 2 ,5 ,6,12...

This is only a test. Should this have been a real post...I would have had my hoochie pants on with a thong underneath.

Good to finally be back!!!!!!!!

me


http://wowjoke.com/image/1003.gif

Sparrowhawk
06-28-02, 09:54 PM
Good to see that your home...

Shucks, too bad it wasn't a real post!