View Full Version : He's Not Heavy, He's My History Book

06-21-05, 03:33 PM
He's Not Heavy, He's My History Book
June 20, 2005
by Burt Prelutsky

As you may have noticed, when liberals want to stereotype conservatives, they usually bring up creationists as if every religious person in America discounts Darwin and walks around with his knuckles dragging on the ground. In spite of having such obviously big brain types as Christopher and William Buckley, Dick Cheney, Walter Williams, John and Norman Podhoretz, Dennis Prager, Condoleezza Rice, Dick Rumsfeld, Robert Bork, Mark Levin, David Horowitz, Joseph Farah, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Antonin Scalia, Thomas Sowell and Michael Medved, on our side, the liberals much prefer to concentrate on simple, often ill-educated, but basically decent people who simply donít happen to share their values.

On the other hand, when conservatives take on liberals, they donít revile the under-educated blocs of voters who make up a major part of their partyís constituency , but instead target the kingpins of the left -- the likes of Boxer and Feinstein, Clinton and Schumer, Murray and Reid, Pelosi and Byrd, Kennedy and Kerry, Leahy and Dean, George Soros and Michael Moore -- people who are richer than God and have all the college degrees money can buy.

To give you some idea how liberals, when theyíre in the majority, think, you merely have to consider California state assembly bill 756. Hold on to your hats because this oneís a doozy. It bans school districts from purchasing history textbooks that are longer than 200 pages!

One of the sponsors of the bill, assemblywoman Jackie Goldberg, in arguing on its behalf, actually said, ďThe schools are teaching kids with the same kinds of massive books that were used generations ago, although the world has changed significantly.Ē Now if I follow what weíll laughingly refer to as her logic, although we have many years of additional history to deal with, the obvious solution is to make the books much shorter. Perhaps, if she had her way, Mrs. Goldberg would have the New York Times change its motto from All the News Thatís Fit to Print to All the News That Fits. But why stop there? Why not cut every other word out of the Bible and every other page out of the dictionary? Ten Commandments? Why not five? Seven deadly sins? How about just two?

Letís face it, assembly bill 756 sounds like a totally goofy notion at first. But the more I think about it, the more sense it begins to make. After all, when you stop and realize how dumb Mrs. Goldberg and her liberal colleagues in Sacramento must be, would you want to risk having your kids and grandkids using the same learning materials they used?

Burt Prelutsky