Feel Smarter

[cadetat6]

THESE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL SMART!

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live
forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all
over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be
skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and
stuff."
--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important
part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for a federal anti smoking campaign.

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of
my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball
forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A democratic congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent
mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
(DUH)
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean
air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca

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"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius
is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports
analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President

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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may
not occur."
--Al
Gore, VP (man he's smart)

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from
overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992
because we received notice that you passed away. May
God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in
your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in
at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart
throughout the night. And the next
morning, when they
wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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.....................................Feeling smarter yet?