HardJedi
02-10-05, 05:57 PM
R. Lee Ermey for the few of you that missed it is the host of The
History Channel's Mail Call and played the D.I. in the movie Full Metal
Jacket. R. Lee is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain
speaker as you will soon read. So, for your entertainment, here is
Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey at his first press
conference as U.S. Press Secretary.
The main topic of discussion is the Marine in Iraq who shot the injured
Iraqi insurgent to death.
We pick up as a reporter asks about how this potential war crime will
effect our image in the world:
Ermey: "What kind of a pansy-assed question is that?"
Reporter: "Well I think..."
Ermey: "THINK, Nancy boy? Get this through that septic tank on top of
your shoulders moron, I DON'T GIVE A F*CK WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU
UNDERSTAND ME??? That Marine shot an ENEMY COMBATANT SH*THEAD, SO GET
YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN
PERSONAL PIN CUSHION!!!
Next question. You in the blue suit."
Reporter 2: Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations
is important?
Ermey: "Oh sure! You don't know the times I have cried myself to sleep
worrying about what some g*ddamned French pansy thinks! Oh the days I
have had to weep because some sh*t-eating terrorist f*cker might be mad
at us because we went into whatever god-forsaken hole in the sh*t that
he lives in and killed him. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBASS QUESTION IS
THAT YOU PETER PUFFING JACKASS?? WE ARE THE MOTHER F*CKING USA, AND WHEN
YOU ATTACK US WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW YOUR STINKING
CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABLE TO BURY YOUR
SORRY A$$ IN A THIMBLE!!
I know what you are thinking. You are probably afraid, thinking that I
have such an "extreme" attitude and that I need to be more "sensitive"
to other people's feelings. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU POLE
SMOKING PANSY! I DON'T GIVE 2 SH*TS WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS!
THIS IS A DAMN WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND
SUCK ON MAMA'S TIT!! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT?? NOW GET THE F*CK OUT OF
MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO CRAZY AND BEAT THE LIVING SH*T OUT OF YOU!!!
Next question, you with the ugly a$$ed tie. Look at that thing. It is
hideous."
Reporter 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by..."
Ermey: "FREEDOM?? WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE
SWEATED MY ASS OFF IN JUNGLES BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION!! WHAT IN
THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SH*T SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME YOU PUT YOUR A$$ ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET YOU HAVE THE
UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACK THE
ACTIONS OF A MARINE WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND HIS UNIT FROM ATTACK
BY SOME MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I AM
CONCERNED ABOUT NUMBNUTS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH OF GRABASSTIC,
DISORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING THEIR BEST TO
PORTRAY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM CONCERNED ABOUT
CHICKEN-SH*T PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS AND THEN
WHINE ABOUT THEIR **** ANT "FREEDOMS"!!"
Reporter 3: "I..."
Ermey: "Did you have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning
numbnuts? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRYHOLE
IN THAT SH*TPILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR THE REST OF
YOU PANSY-ASSED MORONS! NOW GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I
SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR A$$ THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY
SHOELACES!!!!"
History Channel's Mail Call and played the D.I. in the movie Full Metal
Jacket. R. Lee is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain
speaker as you will soon read. So, for your entertainment, here is
Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey at his first press
conference as U.S. Press Secretary.
The main topic of discussion is the Marine in Iraq who shot the injured
Iraqi insurgent to death.
We pick up as a reporter asks about how this potential war crime will
effect our image in the world:
Ermey: "What kind of a pansy-assed question is that?"
Reporter: "Well I think..."
Ermey: "THINK, Nancy boy? Get this through that septic tank on top of
your shoulders moron, I DON'T GIVE A F*CK WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU
UNDERSTAND ME??? That Marine shot an ENEMY COMBATANT SH*THEAD, SO GET
YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN
PERSONAL PIN CUSHION!!!
Next question. You in the blue suit."
Reporter 2: Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations
is important?
Ermey: "Oh sure! You don't know the times I have cried myself to sleep
worrying about what some g*ddamned French pansy thinks! Oh the days I
have had to weep because some sh*t-eating terrorist f*cker might be mad
at us because we went into whatever god-forsaken hole in the sh*t that
he lives in and killed him. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBASS QUESTION IS
THAT YOU PETER PUFFING JACKASS?? WE ARE THE MOTHER F*CKING USA, AND WHEN
YOU ATTACK US WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW YOUR STINKING
CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABLE TO BURY YOUR
SORRY A$$ IN A THIMBLE!!
I know what you are thinking. You are probably afraid, thinking that I
have such an "extreme" attitude and that I need to be more "sensitive"
to other people's feelings. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU POLE
SMOKING PANSY! I DON'T GIVE 2 SH*TS WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS!
THIS IS A DAMN WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND
SUCK ON MAMA'S TIT!! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT?? NOW GET THE F*CK OUT OF
MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO CRAZY AND BEAT THE LIVING SH*T OUT OF YOU!!!
Next question, you with the ugly a$$ed tie. Look at that thing. It is
hideous."
Reporter 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by..."
Ermey: "FREEDOM?? WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE
SWEATED MY ASS OFF IN JUNGLES BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION!! WHAT IN
THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SH*T SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME YOU PUT YOUR A$$ ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET YOU HAVE THE
UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACK THE
ACTIONS OF A MARINE WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND HIS UNIT FROM ATTACK
BY SOME MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I AM
CONCERNED ABOUT NUMBNUTS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH OF GRABASSTIC,
DISORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING THEIR BEST TO
PORTRAY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM CONCERNED ABOUT
CHICKEN-SH*T PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS AND THEN
WHINE ABOUT THEIR **** ANT "FREEDOMS"!!"
Reporter 3: "I..."
Ermey: "Did you have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning
numbnuts? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRYHOLE
IN THAT SH*TPILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR THE REST OF
YOU PANSY-ASSED MORONS! NOW GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I
SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR A$$ THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY
SHOELACES!!!!"