thedrifter
01-24-05, 03:58 PM
Parents cope with sonīs decision to join military
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Associated Press
POLAND, Maine Patricia McGillivary protested the Vietnam War. She opposed the U.S. invasion of Iraq. And when her 17-year-old son began talking about joining the U.S. Marines, she fought that as well.
McGillivary always believed that her son, Curtis Haslip, would attend college after graduating from Poland Regional High School, where he is a senior and achieves good grades. When she heard Curtisī plans, she was heartbroken. And when she met his recruiter, a square-shouldered sergeant named Brian Brown, she argued with him for more than an hour.
"I respected him," she said. "I respected that he was doing his job. My job as a mother was to tell him to buzz off."
For the first time in a generation, young people are joining the armed forces with the knowledge that they may be sent to war. And behind those recruits are their parents _ who have the same knowledge that their children could be sent to harmīs way.
While the Pentagon says military recruiting nationwide remains strong, recruitment has slowed to a crawl in Maine.
Sgt. Troy Stanley, who is in charge of recruiting all of Maineīs Marines, said young people who used to take a few days to decide whether to enlist now take weeks. The ones who took weeks now take months.
A few parents want to vent, Stanley said. Some want to know if their son or daughter will be sent to war. Many just want to talk with an informed person.
"Everythingīs slower," Stanley said. "More so nowadays than ever, recruiting concerns the parents."
With a new generation of wartime parents, the military has begun campaigns aimed at winning the hearts and minds of moms and dads.
The Marines and the Army, for instance, have added sections to their recruiting Web sites to answering parentsī questions. They include details about service life and testimonials from proud parents who talk about their childrenīs growth.
The military knows that if parents are upset, it can upset the young person who is contemplating enlistment.
"Itīs important that each recruit feels comfortable with his or her decision," Stanley said. "So, we answer every question parents ask."
For Curtis, it was his uncertainty with his future that led to his joining the Marines.
"Iīm not ready to decide what kind of career Iīm going to do," he said.
The military seemed like a place to figure that out. And it seemed right for him; he was a patriotic kid.
Curtis and a friend who were teammates on Poland Regional High Schoolīs football team began attending monthly meetings for Marine recruits and those interested in joining.
Curtis took the militaryīs version of the SAT, the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery test. And he searched inside himself.
"I took a real gut check," Curtis said.
Meanwhile, he began dropping hints to his mother and father that he might not do what they expected.
After learning of Curtisī plans, his parents met with Sgt. Brown, the Marine recruiter who works at a recruiting office in Auburn. For their meeting, they sat in the bleachers during one of Curtisī high school football games in Rumford.
Curtisī father, Richard Haslip, said he and Curtisī mother had no idea their son had talked to a recruiter until just a few days earlier. The news came as the war had taken a turn for the worse, and they imagined that Curtis was in over his head.
"Patty was really angry, worried that they had fast-talked Curtis," Haslip said.
Bit by bit, Brown eased their worries.
They talked about the war in Iraq, where Brown had served. They talked about the preparations Curtis would need to make before going to boot camp this July. They talked about Brownīs own background and service.
"He was actually a nice young man," Richard said. "I sensed that he was really talking from the heart when he talked about wanting to watch over Curtis."
It began the parentīs journey toward understanding their sonīs goals.
"Iīm not at peace," said Richard. "But Iīm resigned to it."
The Drifter's Wife
Ellie
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Associated Press
POLAND, Maine Patricia McGillivary protested the Vietnam War. She opposed the U.S. invasion of Iraq. And when her 17-year-old son began talking about joining the U.S. Marines, she fought that as well.
McGillivary always believed that her son, Curtis Haslip, would attend college after graduating from Poland Regional High School, where he is a senior and achieves good grades. When she heard Curtisī plans, she was heartbroken. And when she met his recruiter, a square-shouldered sergeant named Brian Brown, she argued with him for more than an hour.
"I respected him," she said. "I respected that he was doing his job. My job as a mother was to tell him to buzz off."
For the first time in a generation, young people are joining the armed forces with the knowledge that they may be sent to war. And behind those recruits are their parents _ who have the same knowledge that their children could be sent to harmīs way.
While the Pentagon says military recruiting nationwide remains strong, recruitment has slowed to a crawl in Maine.
Sgt. Troy Stanley, who is in charge of recruiting all of Maineīs Marines, said young people who used to take a few days to decide whether to enlist now take weeks. The ones who took weeks now take months.
A few parents want to vent, Stanley said. Some want to know if their son or daughter will be sent to war. Many just want to talk with an informed person.
"Everythingīs slower," Stanley said. "More so nowadays than ever, recruiting concerns the parents."
With a new generation of wartime parents, the military has begun campaigns aimed at winning the hearts and minds of moms and dads.
The Marines and the Army, for instance, have added sections to their recruiting Web sites to answering parentsī questions. They include details about service life and testimonials from proud parents who talk about their childrenīs growth.
The military knows that if parents are upset, it can upset the young person who is contemplating enlistment.
"Itīs important that each recruit feels comfortable with his or her decision," Stanley said. "So, we answer every question parents ask."
For Curtis, it was his uncertainty with his future that led to his joining the Marines.
"Iīm not ready to decide what kind of career Iīm going to do," he said.
The military seemed like a place to figure that out. And it seemed right for him; he was a patriotic kid.
Curtis and a friend who were teammates on Poland Regional High Schoolīs football team began attending monthly meetings for Marine recruits and those interested in joining.
Curtis took the militaryīs version of the SAT, the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery test. And he searched inside himself.
"I took a real gut check," Curtis said.
Meanwhile, he began dropping hints to his mother and father that he might not do what they expected.
After learning of Curtisī plans, his parents met with Sgt. Brown, the Marine recruiter who works at a recruiting office in Auburn. For their meeting, they sat in the bleachers during one of Curtisī high school football games in Rumford.
Curtisī father, Richard Haslip, said he and Curtisī mother had no idea their son had talked to a recruiter until just a few days earlier. The news came as the war had taken a turn for the worse, and they imagined that Curtis was in over his head.
"Patty was really angry, worried that they had fast-talked Curtis," Haslip said.
Bit by bit, Brown eased their worries.
They talked about the war in Iraq, where Brown had served. They talked about the preparations Curtis would need to make before going to boot camp this July. They talked about Brownīs own background and service.
"He was actually a nice young man," Richard said. "I sensed that he was really talking from the heart when he talked about wanting to watch over Curtis."
It began the parentīs journey toward understanding their sonīs goals.
"Iīm not at peace," said Richard. "But Iīm resigned to it."
The Drifter's Wife
Ellie