I have a Defective Dog!

[Sparrowhawk]

Maybe it was Sgt. Smitty that first got me to thinking about dog ownership when back in June he first posted the thread



Got any Critters? (http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15373)

But by Christmas time, the ideal had matured and we started our dog searching days.



So, it’s now been a week since I brought Madison home and I’m beginning to think I got a defective pup.

I couldn’t take her back to the shelter, like I did when I brought my children home from the hospital.

There, I just kept taking the ones that cried, spit-up and pottied all the time, back to the hospital and kept exchanging them for a baby that didn’t spit up, or pooped all the time, until we ended up with the kids we now have. LOL

But, they told me at the shelter I couldn’t do that with Madison, not even if she is defective. So, I’m stuck with her.

I didn’t know she was defective until I looked outside and saw her running around in circles trying to catch her tail. Humm, that’s not very smart, I said to myself.

But, it wasn't until I showed her where she was supposed to go potty, that I found out how defective she really was.


http://marines.bizland.com/sign.jpg

I put up a sign for her and everything.


Bur I found out that not only is she defective but she’s illiterate.

http://marines.bizland.com/read.jpg

Madison’s response when I found out she couldn’t read.





I even drew a picture of what she was supposed to do, but it didn’t help.













I think she’s defective, and when I told her, that if she didn’t straighten out, I was going to sell her on E-Bay, she got all depressed.

http://marines.bizland.com/potty.jpg
That’s all I need another female with PMS.


**** Any suggestions on how to potty train her?

[thedrifter]

That's right Get me in the morning...:D

Now Cook, If Madison could read, You sure will be in the money....

<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNxdm41447US' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_29_110.gif' alt='Show Me Da Money' border=0></a>

It does take some time Cook to train...

I learned the hard way....LOL

<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNxdm41447US' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_20_1.gif' alt='Duh' border=0></a>

Ellie

[marinemom]

I worry about you, Cook - I really do.

[Sparrowhawk]

She's part pointer and boxer, what do pointers and Boxers do?

Humm, getting an idea....


Marinemom I'm trying, I mean I bought her the book, but that was before I found out she couldn't read...

http://www.musicspace.com/images/images_extralarge/XL_MS1181.jpg

[airframesguru]

Maybee you need to drop your skivies and show her how?

heheh

Carefull of the nieghbors!

LOL

Mike

[marinemom]

Geeeeeez Mike - don't make worry about you too!

Cook is more than enough for a sweet little old lady like me to worry about

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by marinemom
Geeeeeez Mike - don't make worry about you too!

Cook is more than enough for a sweet little old lady like me to worry about

he ain't right...

In the head...... LOL



humm, maybe if I closed my eys my neigbors might not see me...lol

[airframesguru]

Hmmm, I aint right? who has footprints for the dog? Surpized they aren't painted yellow.

[mrbsox]

Originally posted by airframesguru
Hmmm, I aint right? who has footprints for the dog? Surpized they aren't painted yellow.

Your not explaining it

LOUD ENOUGH !!

[grayshade]

Why don't ya box-er, than point-er in the right direction. :)

[vfm]

That's a fine looking dog Cook. But Madison???
A Marine's female dog should have no other name but "SHE-DEVIL"

SEMPER FI!!!
vfm

[grayshade]

I like that, vfm.

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by vfm
That's a fine looking dog Cook. But Madison???
A Marine's female dog should have no other name but "SHE-DEVIL"

SEMPER FI!!!
vfm


That's her secret name, when she causes havoc, chases cats, kids, tears down plants, trees, wooden fences, etc.

I'm teaching her to burp, and fart on command. LOL

Thinking of buying her a crusaders cape with the emblem SD on it. LOL

right now she has a temporary one, but it has no Wonder Dog Super Powers...

[Osotogary]

So I guess Barfy the Wonder Dog is out as far as a name goes. LOL

[Sparrowhawk]

http://marines.bizland.com/SD1.jpg

Here she is doing her "Barfy the Wonder Dog" imitation


here she is saying...


OOOOoooraaahhhhh!!!

http://marines.bizland.com/sd.jpg

[Kalbo]

Sparrowhawk,

I think crating the dog and a regular walk routine (more frequently at first) works best.

The American Kennel Club has lots of info. www.akc.org

Best of Luck & SF,

Bill

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by Kalbo
Sparrowhawk,

I think crating the dog and a regular walk routine (more frequently at first) works best.

The American Kennel Club has lots of info. www.akc.org

Best of Luck & SF,

Bill

I will visit the site.

Already started the walking routine, first two times she wanted to poop along the route but I told her the neighbors don't appreciate that, now she holds it until we get back, she is getting better only 10 feet away from the sign.

LOL

I think she knows where I want her to there, but she's doing it on purpose to irritate me. When she begins to poop where she's suppose to I'm promoting her to private from recruit. LOL

[HardJedi]

shoot, thats not a defective dog. It's just female, and KNOWS you are male, so her main goal in life is to frustrate, irritate, and otherwise drive you crazy, all the while making you love her more and more. LMAO :D

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by HardJedi
shoot, thats not a defective dog. It's just female, and KNOWS you are male, so her main goal in life is to frustrate, irritate, and otherwise drive you crazy, all the while making you love her more and more. LMAO :D

Should have know... she's probably also a blonde , she stinks and I can't give her a bath until friday because of the stiches from when she was fixed. Probably when all that dirt comes off, I'll find out she's a blonde.


Then I'll start calling her Maddie instead of Madison...

Thanks for reminding me HardJedi of the conspiracy all females are up too...

[nc.gal]

blame it on all us blondes!!!!!!!!!
:p

[woodman]

Amen to that Jedi........

Cook
put her in a kennel and when ya let her out make sure it's to go straight outside to where you want her and keep her there until she squats. Then like you have to do with ALL wimen make a big fuss over her. she'll be squared away with in a week.