thedrifter
12-23-04, 07:12 AM
Christmas Mojo
December 22, 2004
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by Pete Jensen
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This is the time of the year when the pressure is on to find something warm and fuzzy to say in honor of that old Holiday Season. It’s the time for the personal essay, like the one I wrote last year that had some feminist harridan shrieking that I was some depressive on medication and not to be listened to.
I have to confess, I don’t know if I have it in me. Christmas this year is something I’ve had to work at.
Earlier this year I took a lot of time out to watch an old friend die, and for those of you who have never held a friend in your arms while they breathe their last, I don’t recommend it go to the top of your list for things to ask for. While such a thing clarifies priorities in your life, it’s not for the bold of heart let alone the faint. There are times over the past year I have had to let rote habit take over in the day-to-day. Getting my mojo working again took months.
I’m especially struck with the sterility of Christmas. It’s been politically corrected and sanitized to death, so much so that I’m about ready to scream. The upside of this is that I can concentrate my holiday angst on the Scrooges who have worked so hard to exorcise the real spirit of Christmas from the public square and intimidate the celebrants thereof, and spare those who are undeserving of my bad mood. For the Scrooges, trust me – you are laughed at behind your backs.
Now if there happens to be one of these sour old ACLU types reading here – not that such people tend to read anything which challenges their worldview, or gives a hoot about an opinion other than their own whiney-assed one – spare me the missive telling me what an politically incorrect ass I am. If it’s not your holiday, don’t celebrate it, and if the spirit of Christmas offends you, tune it out. Better yet, go to work, school, or whatever, hand back the gifts, and stop being such a hypocrite and walking turd.
You are tedious in the extreme, and frankly, you’ve put me in a mood such as if you were on fire, I wouldn’t expend the effort to cross the street and urinate on you. Yeah, I know that’s harsh, but Mike L. here wants me to refrain from overly salty and coarse language, so I can’t share my real sentiments with you. I’ve blogged you, so if you crave abuse, follow the link below and check it out. I’ve asked Mike not to bother putting a link to the permalink – I hope you read the whole blog and have a damn coronary. Sons of B….
Anyway. Merry Christmas, buttheads.
Sharing equally my ire at this are the cowardly cravens in business and industry which have kowtowed to these shrill and monotonous knuckleheads. I, for one, have had enough of this “Season’s Greetings” and “Happy Holidays” codswaddle. It’s Christmas, you twits. Not “Xmas,” not “Yuletide” or any other of the euphemisms you care to use. For those who are the professionally offended, I’ll clue you in – a Euphemism is a word which means the same thing, but you use because you are hoping that stupid people won’t notice and take offense.
Yeah, they think you are stupid. And if you haven’t taken offense, it means they were right. Deal with it. I suggest boycotting them. Or you can continue to let them use you. Your call.
Let me tell you something. I’ve made it a special point to patronize those businesses which say “Merry Christmas.” And I have avoided like the plague notable Corporations like Target who just suck the life and joy out of the season. Yes, I got your letter of rationalizations back. I printed up a thousand copies and it sits by my toilet, with the stack growing shorter every day. Wal-Mart got a whole lot of my business back in recent weeks by stepping up for the Salvation Army and their good works. The inserts from Target I don’t even bring into the house. I scatter them in hope that the litter will **** someone off and make them think of Target.
I’m funny that way.
People need to grow a spine, and tell these politically correct nutburgers to take the proverbial long walk off of a short pier. Hey, folks, I’ve been doing it for years. What are you going to do, lose the patronage of the Brie and Chardonnay club who wouldn’t be caught dead in a working class joint anyway? There’s a loss. Why, I bet that would impact bottom line by, oh, I don’t know – ZERO?!?!?!
Bah.
(Heh. Betcha thought I was gonna say “Humbug” didn’t ya?)
The only other thing are the perennial grinches, and the nervous nellies who quail in the face of their pedantic sanctimony. Not two days ago one of these sour old (Okay, sour young – it’s a real pity though when some preppy chick prematurely ages herself by being a stick in the mud) spoilsports had the nerve to waggle her finger in my smiling face as I wished her a “Merry Christmas” and comment that not everyone celebrated Christmas.
I don’t care how you slice it, that’s plain rude – so I called her on it, and in front of her manager too. And I got my “Merry Christmas” back from the manager, and I dare say the smattering of applause from the line at the checkout marked a measure of approval for having the stones to do it. I will hope and wager that a few more “Merry Christmases” were uttered from that – it does tend to be infectious once someone realizes they can say the “C” word and the roof won’t cave in, nor will the world spinning on its axis come to a grinding halt.
Since people seem to have forgotten in a scant two months, let me remind you – the forces of Good triumphed over the enemies of God and Man this past November. All that needs to be remembered is that THEY lost. The PC crowd got their heads handed to them. The only ingredient left is for you, gentle reader, to dust off your cojones, and remind them of this. They are the minority, and they have been running around for years squawking like a bunch of old biddy hens like theirs was the prevailing opinion, because too many of us haven’t had the hair to smile, say “That’s nice” and go about our business to leave them standing their with their mouths hanging open in mid squawk.
They are paper tigers, they are, in the words of the Bard, “Full of sound and fury; Signifying nothing.”
Have the nerve to put a “Merry Christmas” decoration back in your window instead of the generic “Season’s Greetings.” Dust off the old records and tapes, and kiss Frosty and Rudolph goodbye – “O Holy Night,” or “Adeste Fideles” or “Oh, Come Immanuel” are much better choices. Put out holly and mistletoe, put your Nativity Scene back up. A Star or Angel belong on the top of the tree, not sterile old Santa, or some meaningless bauble. Greet each other with a hearty “Merry Christmas!” and not some watered down version of it. This is what I’ve done, and this is why it has been work for me. But work well worth the doing.
Offend the non-Christians? Mercy, but the non-Christians in this country have been dancing around their cash registers at this time of the year, since time immemorial, singing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” to celebrate the Christmas season. While the hysterical lefties have whipped up baloney about “violence” and “disrespect” only the most insecure fool could feel threatened by another person peaceably celebrating their religious holidays. I don’t see Buddhists boarding up their homes in anticipation of the frenzy of violence come Yom Kippur, and nothing in this country’s history suggests that any other religion has diddley to fear from Christmas or Christians.
See, it’s not that Christ has been pushed out of Christmas, but it’s that we have backed off and given ground again and again to a bunch of silly, blowhard bullies. You blame the “left” for pushing Christmas out of the public square? Well, sorry, they’ve supplied attitude and intolerance, but it’s we who have let them beat us in this arena. Scrooges, Grinches, and party-poopers; they are certainly all these. But if you want to know who is responsible for Christmas being a “behind closed doors” event anymore, I suggest that a long look in the mirror might do you a world of good.
Heap scorn on liberals all you want for their attitude. But in this case, we can only blame ourselves for surrendering the field to the anti-Christian bigots. It’s time to stop letting the bullies win.
Oh – Merry Christmas.
Pete Jensen
Pete Jensen is a Computer Engineer and Curmudgeon who lives in the wilds of Southern Indiana. He enjoys satirizing political correctness, and mocking its advocates. If you’d care to write him and talk reasonably he welcomes it. If you’d care to write him and froth at the mouth ideologically, he welcomes that too. You’ll be grist for the mill, and know in advance he doesn’t regard any such diatribes as privileged communication. That’s right, you too can wind up lampooned by his searing wit and insightful barbs in front of millions on the internet.
Ellie
December 22, 2004
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by Pete Jensen
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the time of the year when the pressure is on to find something warm and fuzzy to say in honor of that old Holiday Season. It’s the time for the personal essay, like the one I wrote last year that had some feminist harridan shrieking that I was some depressive on medication and not to be listened to.
I have to confess, I don’t know if I have it in me. Christmas this year is something I’ve had to work at.
Earlier this year I took a lot of time out to watch an old friend die, and for those of you who have never held a friend in your arms while they breathe their last, I don’t recommend it go to the top of your list for things to ask for. While such a thing clarifies priorities in your life, it’s not for the bold of heart let alone the faint. There are times over the past year I have had to let rote habit take over in the day-to-day. Getting my mojo working again took months.
I’m especially struck with the sterility of Christmas. It’s been politically corrected and sanitized to death, so much so that I’m about ready to scream. The upside of this is that I can concentrate my holiday angst on the Scrooges who have worked so hard to exorcise the real spirit of Christmas from the public square and intimidate the celebrants thereof, and spare those who are undeserving of my bad mood. For the Scrooges, trust me – you are laughed at behind your backs.
Now if there happens to be one of these sour old ACLU types reading here – not that such people tend to read anything which challenges their worldview, or gives a hoot about an opinion other than their own whiney-assed one – spare me the missive telling me what an politically incorrect ass I am. If it’s not your holiday, don’t celebrate it, and if the spirit of Christmas offends you, tune it out. Better yet, go to work, school, or whatever, hand back the gifts, and stop being such a hypocrite and walking turd.
You are tedious in the extreme, and frankly, you’ve put me in a mood such as if you were on fire, I wouldn’t expend the effort to cross the street and urinate on you. Yeah, I know that’s harsh, but Mike L. here wants me to refrain from overly salty and coarse language, so I can’t share my real sentiments with you. I’ve blogged you, so if you crave abuse, follow the link below and check it out. I’ve asked Mike not to bother putting a link to the permalink – I hope you read the whole blog and have a damn coronary. Sons of B….
Anyway. Merry Christmas, buttheads.
Sharing equally my ire at this are the cowardly cravens in business and industry which have kowtowed to these shrill and monotonous knuckleheads. I, for one, have had enough of this “Season’s Greetings” and “Happy Holidays” codswaddle. It’s Christmas, you twits. Not “Xmas,” not “Yuletide” or any other of the euphemisms you care to use. For those who are the professionally offended, I’ll clue you in – a Euphemism is a word which means the same thing, but you use because you are hoping that stupid people won’t notice and take offense.
Yeah, they think you are stupid. And if you haven’t taken offense, it means they were right. Deal with it. I suggest boycotting them. Or you can continue to let them use you. Your call.
Let me tell you something. I’ve made it a special point to patronize those businesses which say “Merry Christmas.” And I have avoided like the plague notable Corporations like Target who just suck the life and joy out of the season. Yes, I got your letter of rationalizations back. I printed up a thousand copies and it sits by my toilet, with the stack growing shorter every day. Wal-Mart got a whole lot of my business back in recent weeks by stepping up for the Salvation Army and their good works. The inserts from Target I don’t even bring into the house. I scatter them in hope that the litter will **** someone off and make them think of Target.
I’m funny that way.
People need to grow a spine, and tell these politically correct nutburgers to take the proverbial long walk off of a short pier. Hey, folks, I’ve been doing it for years. What are you going to do, lose the patronage of the Brie and Chardonnay club who wouldn’t be caught dead in a working class joint anyway? There’s a loss. Why, I bet that would impact bottom line by, oh, I don’t know – ZERO?!?!?!
Bah.
(Heh. Betcha thought I was gonna say “Humbug” didn’t ya?)
The only other thing are the perennial grinches, and the nervous nellies who quail in the face of their pedantic sanctimony. Not two days ago one of these sour old (Okay, sour young – it’s a real pity though when some preppy chick prematurely ages herself by being a stick in the mud) spoilsports had the nerve to waggle her finger in my smiling face as I wished her a “Merry Christmas” and comment that not everyone celebrated Christmas.
I don’t care how you slice it, that’s plain rude – so I called her on it, and in front of her manager too. And I got my “Merry Christmas” back from the manager, and I dare say the smattering of applause from the line at the checkout marked a measure of approval for having the stones to do it. I will hope and wager that a few more “Merry Christmases” were uttered from that – it does tend to be infectious once someone realizes they can say the “C” word and the roof won’t cave in, nor will the world spinning on its axis come to a grinding halt.
Since people seem to have forgotten in a scant two months, let me remind you – the forces of Good triumphed over the enemies of God and Man this past November. All that needs to be remembered is that THEY lost. The PC crowd got their heads handed to them. The only ingredient left is for you, gentle reader, to dust off your cojones, and remind them of this. They are the minority, and they have been running around for years squawking like a bunch of old biddy hens like theirs was the prevailing opinion, because too many of us haven’t had the hair to smile, say “That’s nice” and go about our business to leave them standing their with their mouths hanging open in mid squawk.
They are paper tigers, they are, in the words of the Bard, “Full of sound and fury; Signifying nothing.”
Have the nerve to put a “Merry Christmas” decoration back in your window instead of the generic “Season’s Greetings.” Dust off the old records and tapes, and kiss Frosty and Rudolph goodbye – “O Holy Night,” or “Adeste Fideles” or “Oh, Come Immanuel” are much better choices. Put out holly and mistletoe, put your Nativity Scene back up. A Star or Angel belong on the top of the tree, not sterile old Santa, or some meaningless bauble. Greet each other with a hearty “Merry Christmas!” and not some watered down version of it. This is what I’ve done, and this is why it has been work for me. But work well worth the doing.
Offend the non-Christians? Mercy, but the non-Christians in this country have been dancing around their cash registers at this time of the year, since time immemorial, singing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” to celebrate the Christmas season. While the hysterical lefties have whipped up baloney about “violence” and “disrespect” only the most insecure fool could feel threatened by another person peaceably celebrating their religious holidays. I don’t see Buddhists boarding up their homes in anticipation of the frenzy of violence come Yom Kippur, and nothing in this country’s history suggests that any other religion has diddley to fear from Christmas or Christians.
See, it’s not that Christ has been pushed out of Christmas, but it’s that we have backed off and given ground again and again to a bunch of silly, blowhard bullies. You blame the “left” for pushing Christmas out of the public square? Well, sorry, they’ve supplied attitude and intolerance, but it’s we who have let them beat us in this arena. Scrooges, Grinches, and party-poopers; they are certainly all these. But if you want to know who is responsible for Christmas being a “behind closed doors” event anymore, I suggest that a long look in the mirror might do you a world of good.
Heap scorn on liberals all you want for their attitude. But in this case, we can only blame ourselves for surrendering the field to the anti-Christian bigots. It’s time to stop letting the bullies win.
Oh – Merry Christmas.
Pete Jensen
Pete Jensen is a Computer Engineer and Curmudgeon who lives in the wilds of Southern Indiana. He enjoys satirizing political correctness, and mocking its advocates. If you’d care to write him and talk reasonably he welcomes it. If you’d care to write him and froth at the mouth ideologically, he welcomes that too. You’ll be grist for the mill, and know in advance he doesn’t regard any such diatribes as privileged communication. That’s right, you too can wind up lampooned by his searing wit and insightful barbs in front of millions on the internet.
Ellie